Rising From The Ashes
by Drama-Duchess
Summary: A sequel to "Crash Landing." Complications develop with an old injury and leaves Ephram wheelchair bound.
1. Breakfast With The Brown's

Disclaimer: Again - they are not mine. Just using them for my amusement.  
  
Author's Note: Those of you who've read "Crash Landing" will probably know that I had left off some loose ends. Yep! That was done purposely so I can write this sequel. Perhaps I will tie some loose ends in this one - or not. I've decided to post one or two chapters at a time since I'm not sure of the direction I want to take with this story. Once again, I appreciate all your patience and feedback!! Thanks to all of you who took the time to read/review my stories - you know who you are and I love you all!!! *Grin & Hugs*  
  
Title: Rising From The Ashes  
  
Chapter 1: Breakfast With The Brown's  
  
"Is too!!" Delia argued with eyes glaring.  
  
"Is not!!" Sam yelled back.  
  
"Is TOO!!" Delia raised her voice as she stared at her opponent sitting across from her at the breakfast table.  
  
"Is not!! Is not!!" Sam whined refusing to give up.  
  
"Is too. Is too. Is too!" Delia continued.  
  
"To what pleasure do I owe this delightful display of affection between the two of you on such a pleasant early Sunday morning gathering?" Andy's tired husky voice caught the youngsters' attention as he walked into the dining room.  
  
"Timon." Delia explained.  
  
"Tim-moan? What's that?" Andy scratched his uncombed scruffy hair in wonder.  
  
"Exactly." Delia breathed.  
  
"Huh? I think you lost me kiddo." Andy took his seat and proceeded to pour himself a glass of orange juice from the pitcher on the table. He waited patiently for his hearty breakfast of bacon and eggs, which Nina was busy fixing in the kitchen. He sniffed the air hoping to catch a whiff of the tasty breakfast he was about to devour.  
  
"You know, from the Lion King?" Delia realized she was not refreshing her father's memory at all since he responded with a puzzled stare. "We know Pumba is a warthog, but what's Timon?"  
  
"You can't be serious." Andy shook his head. "You're debating over a cartoon character?!"  
  
"I say Timon is a prairie dog. But Sam here thinks Timon is a squirrel. I don't think Sam's ever seen a squirrel before. Cause if he did, he wouldn't think Timon is one." Delia said. "Timon is not gray and doesn't have a bushy tail. He's a prairie dog."  
  
"Is not! He's a squirrel!" Sam defended himself.  
  
"Oh yea?" Delia shouted making an annoyed face.  
  
"Yea!!" Sam shouted back sticking out his tongue.  
  
"You're both wrong. Timon is a muskrat. It's a brown rat-like rodent found in North America that lives near streams and rivers." A voice said from behind. They turned around and their eyes lit up as they saw Ephram taking slow cautious steps towards them with the help of the wall and nearby furniture. He absolutely refused to use crutches. Not only were crutches unfashionable, they hurt his pride. He'd rather writhe in pain than use crutches. "Encyclopedia Britannica dot com. What else?" He grinned.  
  
"Look who's up and about!" Andy spoke gleefully.  
  
"Ephram!! Come sit next to me!!" Delia insisted. She patted the empty seat next to her.  
  
"No! Ephram, sit next to me!!!" Sam challenged.  
  
"He's NOT sitting next to YOU because he's going to sit next to ME!" Delia contested forgetting their primary argument on Timon's species.  
  
"Oh Lord. Here we go again." Andy sighed. "Before you kids bite each other's heads off, how about this - Ephram will sit here - in between both of you." Andy compromised as he got up to offer his seat to Ephram. The two children finally agreed on the idea and the fuse was extinguished.  
  
Ephram made his way to the table and Andy placed a pillow on the wooden chair for his son's comfort. "Thanks, dad."  
  
"How are you feeling today?" Andy asked watching his son carefully to detect any slight discomfort. Ephram winced as he slowly lowered himself onto the chair.  
  
"You know dad, I was going to go jogging today." Ephram said with an ironic grin. "Actually, I feel like my body's been stuffed into a blender and someone just hit the puree button. I thought my legs were supposed to be getting better. Heck, forget running, I can't even skip. In fact, I'll just be happy if I can master climbing up and down those stairs. Is it just me or does the stairs seen extra long these days?" Ephram laughed while rubbing his knee. "Ha, I guess it's just me."  
  
The tragic bus accident had claimed the lives of five people on that fateful night on Route 5. Ephram was one of the fortunate ones to have survived the incident. He suffered multiple injuries as a result of being thrown about and pinned beneath fallen debris. One of the most severe traumas he sustained was a spinal injury. Ephram was diagnosed with an incomplete spinal contusion effecting L1-L5. For you medical deadheads, it just means a bruise in the lumbar vertebrae section of the spinal cord in his lower back, which controls motor functions of the legs. Such a bruising does not necessarily conclude with the patient's permanent loss of movement and sensation below the injury site. Ephram experienced paralysis in both legs for two days straight. It was the most frightening moment in his life. He was confined to a bed while pain seethed in his lower back with the absence of the slightest feeling in either leg. There were no tingling, no stinging, no pricking, and no signs of innervation at all. His legs felt like dead weight on his body. After the second day, the temporary paraplegia had terminated and he was starting to get sensation back in his legs. He cried tears of joy.  
  
"It just takes time to get the full use of your legs back. It's only been a little over eight weeks. You've got a long way to go. Don't give up." Andy advised.  
  
"Oh, I'm far from giving up. Not when I've got the best personal physical therapist slash neurologist slash psychiatrist and slash anything else sitting conveniently in my own home." He said complimenting his father.  
  
"Hey! I'll drink to that." Andy raised his glass of orange juice for a toast. "Cheers." He added as all their glasses clanked together.  
  
"What's all the excitement about?" Nina entered the dining room with a red and white checker apron tied around her slender waist as she showcased a big platter filled with scrambled eggs, potatoes, bacon and sausages. The crisp, greasy aroma of fried bacon circled the air and penetrated each room with force whetting everyone's appetite.  
  
"It's all about how great I am." Andy joked and patted himself on the back.  
  
"What do you want? A medal?" Nina kidded. "Ephram sweetie, how do you feel?" Nina turned to the boy appearing more motherly than neighborly. She set the platter on the table and started distributing portions onto to the plates of the hungry youngsters.  
  
"I'm ok, I guess. Legs are a bit stiff but nothing I can't handle." Ephram replied truthfully. He had a soft spot for Nina's attention.  
  
Nina was like a second mother to him and he longed for her nurturing. He especially liked it when she pitied him. When he was very sick, she allowed him to rest his head on her shoulder while she stroked his cheek with her soft hands in the most soothing and comforting manner imaginable. It was a coincidence that his mother used to do the exact same thing. But with his mother now deceased, no one was there to give him the healing touch when he needed it most. Even when he was running a fever of 102, Nina's gentle stroking of his cheek and back made whatever aches and pain in his body disappear. It was so tranquil and comfortable that he often fell asleep there in her arms. She always knew when not to stop. A mother's touch is capable of such power no medicine can ever remedy. Sometimes he deliberately hinted that he wasn't feeling well just so she can take him under her wing and make a big fuss. Though he wouldn't dare pull one of those stunts when his father was in the room. Being a doctor, Andy can recognize feigning a mile away.  
  
"Tsk, my poor baby! Well then, we got to feed you some more so you'll get stronger." She said with a warm smile. "Would you like me to butter some toast for you?" Ephram nodded.  
  
It was needless to describe the amount of love that burned in their hearts for young Ephram. He was their fallen hero. He fought the biggest battle known to mankind - staying alive under such obstinate circumstances. He's been thru hell and back. They knew he deserved more love than they could ever give. No one thought it possible for him to have such a big impact on those around him. It frightened them to think they were just a heartbeat away from losing him entirely. They were so relieved and thankful he was alive. For the most part, his body gradually healed while his mental health lagged a step behind affecting his loved ones.  
  
Ephram was terrified of riding in motor vehicles, unless it was his father doing the driving. They vividly remembered the incident in Nina's car a few days ago when she offered to pick Andy and Ephram up from therapy. Andy had taken the passenger seat in the front while Ephram sat in the back. Things were fine until they exited onto the road. Andy and Nina were bickering about what cable movie to watch later that night. Nina wanted to see "Catch Me If You Can" on Showtime, but Andy wanted to see "Red Dragon" on HBO. They decided to get Ephram's opinion. After not hearing a response, Andy swung around to see why his son was not answering.  
  
To Andy's consternation, Ephram's face had turned deathly pale with small droplets of sweat trickling down his forehead in neat streams. His skin was slick with cold perspiration. He didn't look up when his name was called. He only sat in complete silence with his head hung down and eyes focused on his knees. Labored breaths caused his whole body to convulse as his fingers clawed forcefully into the seat making nail marks on the soft leather. Even as Nina pulled the car over to the side of the road, Ephram was still petrified with fear. No matter how Andy or Nina tried to talk to him or coax him into coming out of the car, the poor kid just sat there shaking like a leaf and staring at his dusty old sneakers. Andy tugged on Ephram's arm but he wouldn't budge. Moments passed and when he finally did break from his catatonic state, he stepped out of the car in a hurry and didn't walk three steps before falling onto his hands and knees. Clutching his stomach with both arms, he violently threw up causing great alarm in the adults. He stared at the orangy-brown vomit contrasting deeply with the greenness of the grass as he sat on his heels. Every inch of his body trembled. His hands shook so badly that he had to knot them into balls and hide them under his armpits. Looking up at his father, tears formed in the corners of his glossy greenish-gray eyes. Ephram burst out in sobs and choked on apologies until Andy held him in a tight embrace. Andy whispered lovingly, "Don't be sorry, I know you're scared but you'll be alright. I promise." Nina stroked Ephram's cheek in hopes of calming the boy. He cried like that for half an hour. After winning Ephram's trust, Andy offered to drive instead of Nina. Ephram sat in the back holding tightly onto Nina's hand for support as Andy drove home slowly. He was ever so careful not to make any sudden turns or stops that would trigger Ephram's frightening memory again. No more episodes happened the rest of the way back.  
  
Breakfast was quite exciting. Ephram practically inhaled his eggs and potatoes by the forkful. He's never been so hungry. But then again, he was always hungry. Growing boys need their nourishment. It was extra easy for Ephram because Nina was such an awesome cook. She can even make brussel sprouts taste good. Andy and Nina watched Ephram as he wolfed down his food. They silently admired how a stubborn yet precocious kid like Ephram could touch the hearts of so many around him. Ephram gulped down his orange juice as he listened curiously to Delia and Sam arguing about anything and everything. Ephram sometimes thought those two were getting to be more and more like a married couple each day - always had a bone to pick with each other.  
  
"Are we going yet??" Delia exclaimed to Andy in pure excitement.  
  
"Yes, as soon as I help Nina clear the table. Why don't you and Sam go watch cartoons while we do that." He replied.  
  
"Last one to the living room couch is a rotten egg." Delia yelled.  
  
"No fair!! You got a head start!!" Sam complained as the children bounced out of their seats with a bang and stormed out the room.  
  
"And no fighting!!" Andy called hoping they heard him. "Kids." He mumbled.  
  
"Yea. You just gotta love them." Nina laughed as she discarded the scrapings from the dishes.  
  
"I wish I had that much energy." Andy sighed. "Maybe I need to take vitamins or something to keep up with those kids."  
  
"Andy, you're still very agile." Nina said eyeing Ephram, who had remained quiet for sometime now. "So, I see you're still wearing that shirt." She nodded to Ephram referring to his olive t-shirt with the letters S, N, A, F, U imprinted across the front in white stencil.  
  
"Didn't you know? It's his uniform now. That's the only shirt he wears." Andy mocked. "Not to mention it was a gift from his new girlfriend." He teased. "Makes it extra special."  
  
"She's not my girlfriend!! Just a friend." Ephram face turned pink.  
  
"Oh I think she is." Nina winked. "Or you wouldn't be blushing right now."  
  
"I'm not blushing!!" Ephram clapped the palms of his hands over his warm cheeks smiling.  
  
"Yes, you are." Andy said as he stacked the dirty plates on top of each other and carried them to the kitchen sink. He rolled up his sleeves. "Just don't tell your sister what that stands for. I don't need her spewing out profanity just yet. Keeping her nice and innocent - that's my goal."  
  
"Relax! I had her convinced Snafu is a new alternative rock band." Ephram retorted.  
  
Ephram made himself useful and collected the last two glasses from the table and successfully placed them into the sink. Just as he took a step back, his knees buckled. With arms flailing, his effort to grab onto the counter fell short of a few inches. Seeing his son sway out of the corner of his eye, Andy dropped his dishrag and managed to seize Ephram by the armpits with wet soapy hands. He then got a better hold of him by swinging his arms around his son's waist. If it weren't for Andy's quickness, Ephram would've fell over backwards.  
  
"Whoa, hey. Why didn't you just tell me you wanted to dance?" Andy smiled with his arms still around his son's waist. Ephram desperately struggled to gain his footing but he felt like a marionette with someone else pulling his strings.  
  
"Ephram! Are you ok? You didn't have to get up." Nina hurried over to help.  
  
"Weak legs today. I don't think they woke up yet." Ephram said nervously clinging onto his father. He looked at Nina. "I wanted to help. You know, feel useful again."  
  
"You are such a sweetheart and we appreciate your help, but you are in no shape to be doing anything strenuous. Let us take care of you." Nina cooed.  
  
"Bringing over two glasses is hardly strenuous." Ephram said.  
  
"You want to go to the couch?" Andy eyed his son.  
  
"I'm ok now dad. You can let go." Ephram replied. His legs finally found the strength to hold him up.  
  
"You sure?" Andy questioned quizzically. Ephram nodded as Andy slowly released his son.  
  
"See! I'm good." Ephram said as he wiped off the bubbly dishwashing liquid from his shirt with a paper towel. He attempted to walk to the fridge when he realized something wrong with his left leg. It seemed heavier than before. It dragged slightly and made him appear to totter.  
  
"Son? I don't like the looks of that limp." Andy said worriedly. "Maybe we should cancel going to the fair."  
  
"Yea, if you don't feel up to it. I'm sure the kids'll understand." Nina said.  
  
"I'm fine. Really!!! Don't worry about me. Delia and Sam were looking forward to going to the fair ever since it came and I'm not letting them down. Besides, the leg's just stiff." Ephram persuaded. "I don't want to be the one to tell them we ain't going. Let you be the bad guy, not me."  
  
"Ok, but we're bringing the wheelchair." Andy decided. "I'm not going to carry you around if you get too tired to walk."  
  
"No!" Ephram objected. "I don't need a stupid crummy oversized stroller. I can walk."  
  
"We're also bringing the crutches too." Andy added.  
  
"No!" He whined.  
  
"Oh yes." Andy said. "My decision is final."  
  
"How about we take the crutches and leave the wheelchair at home?" Ephram bargained. Seeing the pleading eyes in his boy's face broke his heart. "Please dad? Please?"  
  
"Oh.." Andy thought about it. "Oh, alright. But you let us know the second you feel tired or any pain, ok?" He gave in after a pause.  
  
"Yesss!" Ephram shouted like he just scored a touchdown. "Great! I'm gonna go put on my sneakers." Though it was difficult to walk without that limp, he tried hard to not make it obvious. Andy and Nina watched Ephram like a hawk until he disappeared into the den. Ephram felt the weight of their stares.  
  
On his way to the shoe rack, his left leg acted up again. There was a constant warm feeling in his left leg that he couldn't understand. He never remembered such a feeling at all during recovery and physical therapy. This was definitely something different - something abnormal. He hobbled to the armchair and sat for a few seconds. The tenderness in his left leg was numbing - kind of like the feeling you get after you realize your leg fell asleep but before you get the pins and needles sensation. He massaged his calf to help keep the circulation going. 'Damn leg,' he thought bitterly. Eventually, the numbness in his calf subsided and he was able to proceed with putting on his footwear. He bent over to tie his shoelaces and felt a rush of dizziness overcome him. Thank goodness he was seated or he really would've keeled over and did some major bodily harm. The muscles in his chest tightened while his heart thumped faster and faster. The blood in his veins felt hot like lava. His heart raced as blood pumped rapidly circulating his upper body. It almost felt like fiery ants speed walking across his chest with thousands of tiny burning feet making painful indentations on his skin. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. What was happening?  
  
Ephram felt completely fine since his release from the hospital nine weeks and three days ago. He's been fine ever since. Not one complication. But now, he felt like he'd just run a marathon. His heartbeat thrashed in his chest so fierce, he was sure his heart was going to bounce out of his chest. He grabbed his chest and the felt the deafening pulse in his palm. It gave him twitches of pain. He leaned back on the armchair and breathed deeply in hopes to slow down his heart rate. At one point, Ephram was tempted to call out to his father but that would only lead to one conclusion - trip cancelled. Besides, he was able to deal with the pounding in his chest and the pain wasn't too unbearable. He made a mental note to secretly pop a few Advils before they left.  
  
"Ephram? You ready?" Andy called from the other room. His sudden loud voice gave Ephram a start.  
  
"Y-yea dad. Just t-tying my shoelaces." Ephram stuttered nervously. "Be there in a sec." He ignored the sickly feeling that something terrible was going to happen and headed out the door to join his family.  
  
* end of chapter 1 * 


	2. Meet Me At The Fair

Chapter 2: Meet Me At The Fair  
  
The Plainfield Fair came once a year and ran for about one week. The fair was set up in an abandoned airfield approximately 15 minutes away from Everwood. It was an end of the summer main attraction. Though the fair wasn't widely known nor was it very big, people from neighboring towns still brought their children to have a fun family outing. Festivals and fairs are a very common ingredient in every small town. They celebrated anything from fruits and vegetables to weather. Ephram thought it was corny how people in such tight communities invent festivals just for the sake of having something to celebrate about in their mundane lives. Though people took this type of celebration seriously, Ephram took it as one big joke. On occasion, he would parade around the house and scream something like, "Happy Waffle Day! Today, we celebrate the origin of the waffle, which dates back all the way to 15th century Belgian." He had his way of keeping his family amused.  
  
Of course, Everwood had its share of ridiculous festivals. The Smiling Pumpkin Festival in October required those who attended to dress up in costumes. There were dancing in the streets and lots of harvest foods at every booth - picture Marti Gras with a Hick-Ville backdrop. The biggest event there was the pumpkin-carving contest, which Dr. Abbott had been the reigning champion for the past five years. Then there was The Watermelon Queen Festival in July set to coincide with the 4th of July. This festival was more like a beauty pageant than anything else. One lucky lady will be selected by a panel of distinguished judges by the end of the day to be the new Watermelon Queen. Hundreds of watermelon-based food recipes ranging from watermelon cake to watermelon chicken were offered. The fireworks at night were the best part. Even still, Ephram thought nothing could ever beat The Annual Macy's 4th of July Fireworks in the East River. The Spring Bunny Hop Festival was a favorite among the residents of Everwood. This was one event the whole family could participate in. There were a slew of father-son events, mother-daughter contests, father-daughter exercises, mother-son activities and even sibling team games. Events ranged to pie eating contests to tug-of-war to relay races. The Plainfield Fair was just one of those attractions that sparked the excitement of the small town.  
  
Andy drove with extreme caution since he knew of Ephram's fragile nerves. The last thing he wanted was to rehash painful memories. Ephram sat with seat belts securely fastened in the front passenger seat while Nina sat in the back with the kids. Andy couldn't help but dart worried glances over at his quiet son every now and then to make sure he wasn't phasing into an episode of fear. Ephram appeared calmer than usual but he wasn't able to hide his jittery hands despite cramming them into his pant's side cargo pockets. His hands convulsed in his pockets and Andy caught it nonetheless.  
  
"Ephram, you ok?" Andy whispered just loud enough for him to hear.  
  
"Hmm? Y-yea. Fine." Ephram breathed and closed his eyes. "If only I can get my hands to stop shaking." He admitted.  
  
"The shakes will go away within time." Andy reassured.  
  
"Sure hope so. I may not look it but my heart is going a thousand miles an hour right now." Ephram took another breath.  
  
"Just relax and breathe."  
  
"Yea. I know. I promise I won't throw up this time. Just take it easy on the brakes, will you?" He flashed a weary smile.  
  
"You're a brave kid. You know that?" Andy said feeling pity on his son. He wished his son didn't have to go thru this.  
  
"Yea, I'm trying." Ephram swallowed the salty lump in his throat. "I'm trying real hard."  
  
"We're here!! We're here!!" Delia screamed excitedly. Seeing Ephram nearly jumping out of his skin by the sudden sound, Andy made a reminder to have a little talk with Delia later. "Look!" Delia said pointing with her tiny index finger pressed against the window. She saw a rotating Ferris wheel and a small kiddie roller coaster snaking it's way up and down the tracks.  
  
"I see it too!" Sam said with enthusiasm. "Wow!! I want to go on the Merry- Go-Round, mommy." Sam's face was glued to the window.  
  
"Sure, Sam." Nina laughed and kissed him on the head.  
  
"I can almost taste the cotton candy." Delia smacked her lips.  
  
"I want cotton candy too! And ice cream. And hot dogs. And popcorn. Oh! And candy apples!!" Sam chattered on in ecstasy. There was something about a fair that made kids glow with mirth and gaiety. Was it the amusement of rides or the funny clowns with big feet handing out multi-colored balloons? Maybe it was the petting zoos and animal rides that sparked the excitement of the youngsters. Perhaps it was the endless supply of junk food or the variety of games that rewarded huge teddy bears to the winners. Whatever the reasons, it made kids happy and that's all that mattered.  
  
After easily finding a parking space in the lot, the five-some entered the fair. Delia and Sam excitedly ran to and fro reporting what they had seen to the adults, who were walking slowly with Ephram. The first stop was the carousel.  
  
"Are you going to ride with us?" Delia asked Ephram as she held his hand.  
  
"No, Delia. Not this time. I can't go on any rides right now. But I'll sit right on that bench over there and watch you." He replied. Delia grabbed Ephram's waist and pulled him into a hug. "Go and have fun!" Ephram smiled and patted her on the head.  
  
Andy placed Delia on the horse of her choice. She picked a lavender horse with small colorful daises etched into the saddle while Sam chose a blue and gray one. Ephram sat on the bench with the adults and watched the carousel rotate. The carousel horses bobbed up and down as the loud music started to play. Each time Delia and Sam came around, they waved frantically. The two adults and Ephram were required to wave back. Ephram saw how happy Delia and Sam were and it really touched his heart. The kids weren't arguing anymore. They were actually getting along great. The fair had a certain unexplainable truce-magic.  
  
"How are you doing?" Andy nudged Ephram on the shoulder. Honestly, Ephram wanted to rub his legs to get the soreness out but to do that, it would only provoke his worry-wart father into giving him the third degree. Ephram's legs were fine - as long as he sat. It was when he was walking that put strain on them causing him malaise.  
  
"I'm good. Wish you would quit asking me how I am every three seconds though." Ephram jived.  
  
"What? I DO NOT!" Andy pretended to be flabbergasted. "It's more like every six seconds."  
  
Ephram laughed at his father's reply and waved at Delia and Sam as they passed by again. This time, they howled Ephram's name.  
  
"Your father is concerned for you." Nina said. "He only wants you to be ok."  
  
"He's been overly protective ever since the accident. He has a cow even when I get a paper cut." Ephram rolled his eyes. "The attention is suffocating."  
  
"It's all within good reason. He loves you a lot." Nina gave him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder.  
  
Once the ride was over, they headed to the various games and watched people play. Andy was trying his luck at Ring Toss while Ephram wandered over to the Shooting Gallery, where you shoot the yellow plastic ducks that immerge out of the conveyor belt with your pellet gun. With Delia by his side, he managed to win her a medium fuzzy light blue teddy bear sporting a polka dotted bow. Delia beamed with such vivacity as she flung her arms around her brother so hard that she almost knocked him over. Ephram steadied himself and laughed at his sister's quirkiness.  
  
"Now, lets see if we can win one for Sam." Ephram said as he walked hand in hand with Delia to another game. Skee-Ball caught his attention right away. He remembered a childhood spent at the Chuck-E-Cheese restaurant playing Skee-Ball with his friends back in New York. After three throws of the ball, he scored enough points to win a prize. He called Sam over to pick the prize. Sam chose a furry orange and yellow bunny rabbit with long floppy ears. The happy kids and Ephram made their way back to Andy and Nina, who was carrying a large hot pink colored plush bear in her arms. No doubt, Andy had won it for her.  
  
Delia and Sam ran ahead of Ephram and rattled off at the same time while showing them the prizes he won for them. Ephram's legs were indeed getting tired. The numbness had settled in his left leg. He needed to sit.  
  
"Looks like someone had luck playing Ring Toss." Ephram said to his father wearily trying to hide his discomfort.  
  
"Hey, it had nothing to do with luck mind you." Andy boasted.  
  
"Oh no. He IS a natural. I can vouch for that." Nina confirmed. She held the bear out by the armpits and shifted it from side to side so it appeared to be dancing. "Isn't it cute?"  
  
"Oh, very." Ephram raised an eyebrow. "Dad, I hate to be a party-pooper but can we sit somewhere?"  
  
"Sure. Your legs bothering you?" Andy asked.  
  
"A bit. Just tired from all the walking. I'll be ok after a little rest." Ephram answered noticing the concerned look on his father's face. He knew very well what was coming next. "No, dad. I don't want to leave. I'm fine. 'Sides, I can't leave without eating a hotdog." Ephram said before his father can open his mouth.  
  
"Hey, I'm a doctor. It's my job to worry about your condition." Andy reasoned as they spotted an empty bench in the shade about a few feet away from the Pony Rides. Delia and Sam dashed to the bench to 'reserve' it for their family. They sat there waiting patiently with their feet dangling merrily.  
  
"I don't have a condition." Ephram retorted.  
  
"He's still in denial." Andy whispered to Nina.  
  
"I heard that." Ephram said.  
  
"Well good because you can't ignore your condition."  
  
"I'm not a baby. Stop treating me like I'm three." Ephram's spunk crept back. "I don't need to take a nap."  
  
"You know guys, I'm starving. How about we get lunch?" Nina said trying to deter the haggling. "The hotdogs looked really good back there."  
  
"Great idea." Andy concurred.  
  
Ephram was relieved that he could finally sit as they arrived at the bench. Andy, Nina and Sam left Delia and Ephram at the bench to baby-sit the toys while they went to get the food. The unexplainable tenderness and warm feeling in his left leg, which started off at his calf, was now spreading to his knee and thigh. He winced at the tightness and quickly began to massage his left leg.  
  
"Does it hurt?" Delia questioned as she watched Ephram kneading his leg to get the soreness to unknot.  
  
"Nah. It gets easily tired." He lied. "Some rest is all I need."  
  
"It looks painful though." Delia stared at her shoes. "Eph, I want you to be well again. I don't ever want you to leave me."  
  
"Aw Del, I AM ok." Ephram stopped and looked at his sister. "Not as flexible as I used to be. But I'm ok. I would say this old ticker of mine has a good number of years before it expires." He smiled and gently tugged at her long light brown hair.  
  
"Can I get a hug then?" She requested with an irresistible dimply grin.  
  
"You're just full of hugs today, aren't you?" Ephram observed. "Oh alright, come here and give your big brother a hug." He added with open arms.  
  
"Mmmm." Delia sighed as she flew into his embrace. "Love you." She mumbled as she buried her face into his shirt.  
  
"I know. Love you too kid."  
  
"Um, Ephram?" Delia said while they were still holding each other in a tight hug.  
  
"Yep?"  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Of course. I thought we already established that."  
  
"It's just that your heartbeat is going so fast and loud. I can even feel it." Delia raised her head from his chest. In an instant, he felt his heart rate increase. He was lightheaded from the stagnant flow of oxygen to his brain. The air was thinning and it got stuffy all of a sudden. Afraid of passing out, he leaned forward with elbows on his knees and drew slow deep breaths as he stared at the concrete between his feet. His vision blurred for a split second then focused again. 'That was close.' He thought. Breathing in and out slowly, he managed to regulate his heartbeat.  
  
"I should get dad." Delia suggested getting frightened. She stared at her brother holding his chest.  
  
"No. Give me a second. I'm ok. I'm a bit breathless from all the excitement." Ephram puffed. "Sometimes my heart does that. See, I'm better now."  
  
"I don't know. I should still get dad." Delia hesitated. She was about to get up from her seat. "Just in case."  
  
"Del, I'm alright. I wouldn't lie to you." Ephram said. "Feel." He added while taking Delia's hand and placing it on his chest.  
  
"Really?" She asked in a skeptical tone. She felt his heart had returned to its normal pace.  
  
"Yea. Positive." Ephram smiled. He couldn't explain it at all. The twitches came as fast as it went. Episodes started with soreness in his leg then escalated to the rapid racing of his heart and tightening of his chest. Maybe he'll mention it to his father when they get home. "Oh look, here comes dad and Nina with the food." Ephram changed the subject.  
  
Andy held a large tray of food in his hands while Nina carried the drinks. They were chatting away on whispered conversation as Sam skipped joyously by Nina's side. Ephram liked the way things were. With Nina playing the surrogate mother, they seemed like a complete family. He wished his father would make it official. Although Ephram never forgot his birth mother and still loved her dearly, there was need for a physical motherly touch of tenderness that he so desperately yearned for. He's never found such a quality in any other woman - except Nina. She genuinely cared about his feelings and nursed him when he was sick or injured. She nurtured him and made sure he never went on an empty stomach. And she can cook up a storm. Ephram didn't think there was a single dish that Nina didn't know how to cook. Besides, she spent more time over at his house than she did at her place. But who was he to tell his father whom to marry. It was not his place to say. Then again, there's no harm in secretly hoping. He could always live the dream inside his head that one day, he would be able to call Nina "mom". He thought about the stolen glances his father had given Nina and vice versa. There had to be more chemistry going on than meets the eye. Either way, Ephram was happy with Nina in his life.  
  
Lunch consisted of sizzling hotdogs with all the fixings, piping cheese fries, butter-dripping corn on the cob, and ice-cold root beer. All of which were consumed quietly and with pleasure.  
  
"Daddy!! Did you know they have pony rides here?!" Delia's eyes lit up as she bit on a cheese fry.  
  
"Yes darling, I am very well aware of that, which is why that shall be our next stop." Andy replied.  
  
"Oh boy! I get to ride a pony!!" Delia beamed.  
  
"I knew you would like that." Andy said while chewing on the last of his food.  
  
"You promised to buy me one. Didn't you daddy?" She said and made big puppy dog eyes.  
  
"Yes. Some day, you will have a pony. But not right now." Andy answered and wiped Delia's greasy mouth with a napkin. "This is what I get for making broken promises. It'll stick with me until I die." Andy said in a low tone to Nina.  
  
"Aha, so you bribed Delia with the 'Daddy's gonna buy you a pony' line for making her agree to live in Everwood. Nice going." Nina shot back an evil grin. "What, pray tell, was the method you used for Ephram?"  
  
"Him? Oh, I dragged him by the ear." Andy joked. The adults laughed. Ephram would've thought of a clever, wise-ass reply to that remark too, but he was not feeling his old youthful, smart-alecky, frivolous self. He had a troubling distraction - another dull pain in his left leg immerged.  
  
"Are we done eating lunch?" Andy looked around. "Who wants cotton candy for dessert?" He added comically.  
  
"Ooo, me, me, me!" Delia and Sam shouted in unison and raised their oily hands like as if they knew the answers to some classroom question.  
  
"Great! Yes votes win by a landslide. Shall we, madam?" Andy said to Nina offering her to take his elbow.  
  
"Why, thank you kind sir." She accepted humorously.  
  
"Mommy! I want to come too!!" Sam yelled jumping out of his seat.  
  
"I'll stay with Ephram." Delia said loyally. "Get me a blue cotton candy!" She called as they left for the cotton candy stand. Delia turned her attention to the Pony Ride area. She saw mischievous boys pretending to be cowboys as they rode the short stubby Shetlands while the girls treated their ponies with princess pride. Her eyes widened as she watched the ponies walking in lazy circles with the pint-sized burdens on their backs.  
  
Children often had special desires. For some kids it was a puppy, or the most updated video game console, or a Disneyland vacation, or even a younger sibling. In Delia's case, it was a pony. Ephram knew how much Delia wanted one. He also knew for a fact that his dad was never going to buy it for her. That was the honest truth. Only sweet little innocent and naïve eight year old Delia would believe that she was actually going to get a pony. Ephram decided he was not going to be the one to break the bad news to her. Her heart would be crushed. Perhaps she'll grow out of it just like the way he grew out of waiting for Santa to bring him a trampoline.  
  
"So you like ponies, huh?" Ephram asked.  
  
"Yep. When we go pony shopping, I'm gonna pick a tan colored one and I'm naming her Buttercup." Delia said quite sure of herself.  
  
"You already have a name picked out?" Ephram was a bit shocked. Delia nodded. "Buttercup, huh? Are you sure you wouldn't rather go with Funny Cide or Secretariat?"  
  
"What?" Delia looked confused.  
  
"They're names of race horses. You know, in the Triple Crown? It was a joke, get it?" Ephram expected her to say, "Ohh!!" but instead, she gave him a blank look. "Ah, forget it. You're a bit young to know anything about Belmont Park and Aqueduct anyway. You want to go take a closer look at the ponies?"  
  
"Can we?!" Delia said in delight.  
  
"I don't see why not." Ephram shrugged. Delia got up and took a few anxious steps. "Stay by the fence, ok? We have to wait for dad first."  
  
The very instant Ephram stood up, a sharp pain shot up his left leg and into his lower back making him cry out in distress. Delia turned her head in alarm. He heard a sickening click sound somewhere inside his body. Ephram knew it wasn't good. He grabbed for his lower back. He grit his teeth to swallow the blinding pain but it was no use.  
  
"Ephram!! What's wrong?" Delia screamed in horror. The pain was so grueling he couldn't give a reply. He took another step before his legs betrayed him completely causing him to lose his balance and collapse onto the pavement. He swore he saw stars as his left side hit the cement first. He shook his head desperately to clear his shaky vision.  
  
The pain in his back increased upon impact with the ground. He tried to talk but the only sound that came out of his mouth was a sickly squeak. It was like he lost his voice altogether. He tried to put together understandable words but they came out in loud inhuman grunts. Agonizing and excruciating pain contorted his face. The twisting throb in his back prevented him from any possible movement. His heart began to race. Breathing was worst than before. His chest became tighter and tighter restricting air to pass into his lungs. Desperately trying to draw in air made his breathing come in harsh ragged gasps. The feeling of fiery ants returned with thousands of burning feet trampling across his chest in a wild fury. He ordered his arms to move so he can rub his chest and get the soreness out but they wouldn't listen. His whole body felt immobile. He released the intense pain by groaning loudly.  
  
"Ephram!!" Delia hollered as fear racked her whole body. Panic-ridden and not knowing the proper action required to save her ailing brother, she dropped to her knees and watched Ephram squirm in pain as the color drained from his face. "Ephram?" She cried. "What should I do?" No matter what she asked her brother, he wasn't able to give her an answer. He only lay there moaning. Tears flooded out of her eyes. "Someone help!!" She yelled on the top of her lungs.  
  
Delia caught the attention of some nearby fair-goers. Upon seeing the half- unconscious boy lying on the ground, they dashed over to assist. The first to approach was a chubby woman in her mid forties with short curly red hair. She wore a purple blouse with black Capri pants and a brown pocket book draped across her shoulders.  
  
"Please help my brother." Delia cried to the lady as she arrived at the scene.  
  
"Oh dear!" The lady said kneeling beside Ephram and observing the injured boy. "Do you know what's wrong with him?" She asked Delia.  
  
"He's hurt. He fell." Delia wailed and brushed away her tears.  
  
"Sugar, tell me where does it hurt." The lady asked Ephram, who was now laid flat on his back. She surveyed his pale face. He looked like he was going to faint. His eyes were no longer focused. "Can you hear me?" He just grit his teeth and moaned.  
  
"DADDY!!!!!!" Delia panicked. "DADDY - WHERE ARE YOU???? DADDY!!"  
  
By then more people had surrounded the fallen teenager. Everyone wanted to help but no one knew how since they were oblivious to the cause of the problem. A few caring strangers crouched next to the boy trying to help in any way possible. They touched his forehead, felt for broken bones, and searched for bleeding and other visible injuries. The more they prodded him, the louder he squealed in pain. Giving no knowledgeable reply to any of their questions, they came to the conclusion that he wasn't able to hear them. Though that was not the case at all. He was smarting so much that if he should unclench his jaw, he would go into hysterics. The only thing anyone could do for him was dial for medial assistance and wait.  
  
"Is your brother epileptic?" The lady asked Delia. Delia shook her head. "Does he have asthma?" The lady asked watching the poor boy wheeze and attempt to draw in oxygen. Delia shook her head again. "Is he a diabetic?" Delia shook her head a third time. She didn't know herself what was wrong with her brother. Agitated and helplessly discouraged that no one was going to do anything for poor Ephram, the waterworks leaked from her eyes once again as she hollered for her father.  
  
Ephram held the pain in as his ashen face shifted his stare from the red headed lady to the blue sky. With jaws still clenched, he forced air thru his nostrils into his body but his lungs refused to process the oxygen. The lady was alternating between talking at him and asking Delia questions. After a while, he couldn't hear what the woman was saying anymore because his heart pounded in his ears and throat beyond his control. The thumping and occasional pinch caused his body to twitch sporadically. It scared him to think Delia was going to watch him die a slow and painful death on a pavement at a town fair. This would scar her for life. Though he wasn't sure if he was really dying, but he damn well felt like he was. He doubted his dad would be able to save him this time. He didn't even know where his father was. Maybe this was the big exit for Ephram Brown. His number was up. If only the pain went away. Suddenly, he heard an all too familiar voice above the chatter of concerned strangers. It was his father racing to his rescue. Things will be ok now. His father was here to make things better.  
  
"Oh my God, Ephram!!!" Andy pushed his way thru the crowd. He stumbled onto the ground next to his son. "What happened?" He looked at Delia.  
  
"We were going to look at the ponies, he got up and fell." Delia stammered still in tears. "He won't talk."  
  
"Ephram, where is the pain?" Andy fretted. He slipped his arm around his son's shoulder to support his neck. Ephram arched his back and groaned thru his teeth. His eyes stared steadily ahead.  
  
"He's been like this for a while now. We don't know what's wrong with him. I think he's in pain but he won't say where." A man spoke. "We called for medical assistance. They should be here soon."  
  
"Thanks." Andy said to the man and turned back to Ephram. "Now Ephram, listen to me. You have to tell me where it hurts." Andy instructed only to hear Ephram grunt. Andy took a closer look and realized how tightly Ephram clenched his jaw suggesting the boy was in terrible pain. "Oh God." Andy panicked. "Son, I know you are in a lot of pain but you have to relax your jaw or you're going to ruin your teeth and damage your jaw bone."  
  
Ephram heard his father and tried to follow his instructions. He slowly released his bite. His breath was jarring and raspy.  
  
Andy propped Ephram up a little. "Is it your legs?" Andy guessed. "Here?" Andy squeezed his right leg then his left leg. Ephram shook his head. "Where then?"  
  
"B-back." Ephram grimaced and swallowed again. "Ch-chest." A stray tear rolled down his face. "P-p-pain." He stuttered. "C-can't feel l-legs."  
  
'This is bad.' Andy thought and tried to remain calm but his hands rattled with fear. It was apparent when he brushed a stray piece of hair away from Ephram's eyes.  
  
"OK. Now we're getting somewhere." Andy's voice shook. "You are going to be ok. You hear me? Don't be scared."  
  
"I'm ok." Ephram made himself believe those words. His chin quivered and the helpless gaze told his father that his son was far from being ok. Another tear escaped his eyes.  
  
"In your chest, is it a stabbing pain or a burning pain?" Andy switched into doctor mode.  
  
Before Ephram could give a reply, his breathing wheezed and the muscles of his upper body tensed up instantly. He struggled to swallow. His jaw clenched again as a fit of pain radiated thru his lower back. Ephram's upper torso hardened like as if he had his muscles flexed. A cold sweat formed on his pale face. His lips turned a shade of purple. He stared at his father with his empty greenish gray eyes. He tried to blink but for some reason, his body was not allowing him to do even that.  
  
"Ephram?" Andy called noticing the immediate change in the boy's condition. "Hey! Son!!" Andy shook Ephram gently to get his eyes to focus. After blinking once, Ephram's eyelids drooped and resumed the icy stare.  
  
"Damn it Ephram, breathe!" He shrieked. Andy could see his son battling for breath. "Where the hell are the paramedics?!" Andy yelled in anguish. Surely, he was a doctor and was capable of saving his son's life but without medical equipment, he was as helpless as everyone else. He finally spotted two men in green EMS uniforms jogging towards them with a rolling stretcher from a distance.  
  
"Dad." Ephram whispered thru clenched teeth.  
  
"I'm here. You're gonna be fine." Andy held him tight, not wanting to let go.  
  
Ephram saw passed his father's worried facial expression. He saw passed the circle of unfamiliar faces looking down on him. The voices were diminishing in his head and all he heard was his desperate wheezing for breath and the irregular rhythm of his heart. Even his vision was starting to fade. Blurriness clouded his eyes as objects and faces swirled around in a whirlpool of colors.  
  
"I'm ok." Ephram choked. "I'm o-". Darkness claimed him before he could finish his statement. Andy watched his son's eyes roll into his head.  
  
"Ephram??" Andy shook his son. Ephram's head lolled to the side and his body went limp in Andy's arms.  
  
* end of chapter 2 * 


	3. Spine Juice and Comfort Cake

Chapter 3: Spine Juice and Comfort Cake  
  
"Hi." Andy greeted as he watched Ephram slowly regain consciousness.  
  
"Mmmm." Ephram moaned stiffly. His current recollection of what happened and how he got to his present location was fuzzy and partial. He remembered going to the fair and the gripping pain in his body but hardly anything else. However intense that pain had been, it was gone for the moment or so it seemed. Not fully aware of his whereabouts, he pondered at his father's concerned but smiling face to make sure it wasn't all a dream. When he finally accepted that he was indeed awake and not dead, he attempted to rise out of bed.  
  
"No Ephram. You mustn't move." Andy said touching his son's shoulders to prevent him from exerting himself. "Lie back down."  
  
Fatigued, Ephram had no choice but to obey. The sudden activity made him realize how achy his whole body felt. He blinked curiously at his father. For the first time, Ephram noticed his father was wearing a white lab coat with cream colored surgical gloves sticking out of his breast pocket. Ephram always thought his father looked smart and professional in that 'doctor get-up.' Ephram gazed down at himself and saw he was stripped of the clothes he had on that morning. His top was now a white cambric sheet with a bare back and two holes cut out for the arms to pass through. His bottom was a heather gray cotton drawstring pant.  
  
The shallow breath he took to test his out his lungs caused a burning itch to develop in his throat and he coughed vigorously until his face turned beet red. Andy brought a cup of water to Ephram's lips when the coughing ceased. The cold and soothing water trickled down Ephram's dry throat and quenched his thirst. He observed his father's every move for any signs of disappointment or anger towards him for all the trouble he's caused. But the lingering throb in his temples made it difficult for him to concentrate on any particular subject for too long. His joints were stiff but he was able to move. He slowly made a fist with his fingers. He felt something itchy on his wrist and absentmindedly proceeded to scratch it with his free hand until he recognized the infamous tube sticking into his soft flesh.  
  
"Don't touch that." Andy pulled Ephram's hand away from the tube and adjusted the IV drip. Ephram was annoyed at his father for continuously bossing him around by telling him what he could and could not do.  
  
Ephram looked straight ahead and realized a thick piece of foam underneath his knees elevating both his legs. He stared at his toes. It finally registered in his brain the cause of this ordeal. His legs. It was obvious something was wrong with his left leg. It didn't take a team of astrophysicists to figure that out. Even though he wore long loose pants, he saw that his left leg was almost twice the size of his right leg. There was a reason why his father put pants on him instead of leaving him with just the usual hospital gown. His father didn't want him to wake up to something alarming like a vision of a swelled up leg resembling a giant link of sausage. Ephram knew his leg had swelled up. He saw the redness and puffiness of his left foot and ankle. A spark of panic flickered in his mind as he tried to see if he could feel his legs. His knees and thighs were numb and felt like they were two tons of concrete anchoring his efforts at movement. However, he was able to slightly wiggle his big toe on his right foot. Nonetheless, he sighed a breath of relief at the semi- successful try - every little bit counts.  
  
"How ya doing?" A voice came from his from his bedside. The voice startled him because he was unaware of anyone else being in the room aside from his father. He relaxed when he saw it was Nina.  
  
"I don't feel so good." Ephram croaked. And that was the truth. Honestly, he felt like he had just been ran over by a herd of cattle. He didn't need to strike sympathy in Nina because she had already done her motherly duty and took him under her wing.  
  
"That's because you've got a bit of a fever going." Andy said caringly as he fiddled with a collection of medical utensils on a tray by the bed.  
  
"God, this place looks awfully familiar." Ephram groaned after speculating his surroundings wearily.  
  
"The boy still has a sense of humor." Andy snickered.  
  
"When can I leave?" Ephram inquired weakly. He hated being hospitalized. It was like an automatic prison sentence. You're limited to movement - the wires and tubes resembled shackles or the good old ball and chain. You're restricted to venturing out your room without supervision and permission - doctors get to determine whether you're allowed to go anywhere and in the event that they do grant your wish, they assign a nurse to chaperone you. It's like they don't trust you to be by yourself. Nasty rations of barely edible gunk called food were served, which aside from the Jell-o, the smell made him want to vomit. Then the worst part was the uniform - the backless thin sheet of cotton gossamer that showed your entire derriere. One unlucky gust of wind and you would be doing the famous Marilyn Monroe scene only you'd be flashing your privates to everyone in the entire room. How embarrassing. All they needed to complete the process was a mug shot and fingerprinting.  
  
"Leave? You're not leaving for a while son." Andy said amiably. "Just take it easy, ok? You're very sick right now and we need to keep you here for observations."  
  
"Why? What's wrong with me? Why are my legs numb?" Ephram's voice came out in a scared whisper.  
  
"We're still waiting on some test results but from what we gather so far, you had a deep vein thrombosis in your leg, which lead to a pulmonary embolism." Andy stated.  
  
"What's that mean?" He sighed. Ephram was exhausted but he fought with every ounce of vitality left in his body to stay awake long enough to find out how bad the damage was.  
  
"Deep Vein Thrombosis is just a big fancy term for blood clot forming in a large vein in the body. In your case, it was in your left leg. This blood clot in the vein blocks the normal flow of blood back to your heart. Basically, your circulation was cut off hence, causing the pain, swelling, redness and warm feeling in your left calf and thigh. To make things even more complicated, a fragment of that blood clot broke off and traveled through your blood stream. The clot lodged in your lungs and eventually blocked the blood flow in your blood vessels. This is called a pulmonary embolism. It would explain the pain in your chest and rapid heart rate." Andy described slowly in his doctoral tone of voice.  
  
"It's caused by the spinal injury?" Ephram asked in a small, weak voice.  
  
"Yes. But you're stabilizing now. We're giving you heparin to thin the blood in your system to help dissolve the clot. Your medicine is dripping thru your IV right now."  
  
"Will I be able to walk?" Afraid of the answer to that question, tears instantly filled Ephram's eyes. Andy saw the fear in his son's eyes and thought it best not to tell him at the moment.  
  
"Most people recover from DVT. Why don't we just concentrate on getting thru today first?" Andy kept a strong face but his heart was chipping off little by little each time he saw his son on the verge of tears. Ephram turned his head and looked at Nina with glassy eyes. Somehow, he knew the answer to his question.  
  
"Oh baby. No, don't cry. Things will be alright." Nina tried to alleviate Ephram's anxiety. "We're gonna get thru this together, ok?" Ephram watched Nina stroke his cheek and brush his hair back. He was too tired to have the energy to shed a tear.  
  
"Ephram, there's one more test that needs to be done. Normally, Doctor Monroe would be the one to conduct this procedure, but given the circumstances, I volunteered thinking you'd be more comfortable if I did it." Andy said softly. "We're gonna do a spinal tap."  
  
Ephram had never heard of the term 'spinal tap' or even knew what it was or what it involved. But it sounded painful. He tensed up and looked at Nina again for support. His eyes shook and lips quivered.  
  
"Tired." Ephram mumbled hoping to discourage his father from doing this spinal tap thing. "Want to sleep."  
  
"I know. But this procedure won't hurt and will only take ten minutes. The reason we need to do this is because your injury is initially spinal related so we want to make sure there's no infection due to your recent complication. All I'm going to do is extract some cerebrospinal fluid from your spinal cord and run some tests on it." Andy said brushing his son's cheek affectionately. "It's kinda like drawing blood - no big deal. You do trust me, don't you?" Andy smiled warmly. Ephram nodded gingerly.  
  
"And I'll be right here next to you the whole time. So you don't have to be afraid." Nina added.  
  
"OK then, are we ready to begin?" Andy clapped his hands together. "Ephram, I'm going to need you to lie on your side in fetal position, which we will help you do." Ephram stared at his father too weak to move a muscle. "You didn't think we would make you do it by yourself, did you?" He forced a smile.  
  
Andy removed the thick foam block under the boy's knees gently and went over to Nina's side. He slipped one hand under Ephram's lower back and the other over Ephram's hip. Nina slid one hand behind Ephram's neck and the other over his armpit. On a count of three, they rolled Ephram onto his side. Ephram's legs and hips were pulled up towards his chest and his neck bent slightly forward.  
  
Ephram's backless top was raised a few inches above his waist and the back of his drawstring pant was pushed down exposing the lower portion of his back.  
  
"Ephram, you let me know if you experience any pain at any time, ok?" Andy said snapping the surgical gloves tightly on his hands.  
  
"Ok." Ephram murmured and stared at Nina.  
  
"Sweetheart, want to hold my hand?" Nina offered as she took the boy's trembling hand. She stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers. "My gosh!" She blurted.  
  
"What?!" Andy looked up.  
  
"Nothing. It's just that he's so warm." Nina replied. "I wish I can take some of the aches and pains away." She continued stroking Ephram's face.  
  
'You already have mom. More than you know.' Ephram wanted to say to Nina but kept the thought to himself.  
  
Andy felt for Ephram's pelvic bone in order to locate the corresponding area between the third and fourth lumbar space in the lower region of the back. The needle will be inserted between these two vertebrae to enter the space where the fluid is to be drawn. Andy then proceeded to inject a dose of lidocaine into Ephram's lower back to numb the area completely.  
  
Ephram flinched at the prick of the syringe. A few tears found its way onto the mattress and soaked thru the bed sheet. He heaved a small sigh.  
  
"It's ok baby. It's ok." Nina soothed.  
  
"Is everything cool?" Andy looked at Nina.  
  
"He's scared as hell. Poor kid." Nina replied wiping the tears off Ephram's pale face.  
  
Once the numbing medication was in effect, Andy draped a blue sheet with a pre-cut hole onto the region where the puncture is to be made. He then continued to insert a special wide needle into place. Andy patiently watched the spinal fluid drip into the tiny, transparent narrow glass vial he held steadily in his hand. Unlike extracting blood, collecting spinal fluid was not something that could be rushed. When drawing blood, the liquid is sucked out using a syringe making the whole process fast and simple. When drawing spinal fluid, once the special needle is inserted, the liquid drips out passively. Andy was almost done with his second vial when he heard a soft moan from Ephram.  
  
"It's almost over Buddy. Just hang in there." Andy said in a tranquil voice. "I just need one more vial."  
  
"Can't you give him something for his fever?" Nina asked worriedly.  
  
"I'll get him a cold compress in a while. I don't want to administer additional medication that might conflict with the heparin." Andy answered.  
  
"He's such a sweet kid, why is this happening to him?" Nina shook her head in pity. She rubbed Ephram's fingers.  
  
"I ask myself the same question. I hate seeing him in this much pain. I'd do anything to trade places with him. At least I would be able to handle it." Andy said as he started collecting the third vial of fluid. "Maybe I should've seen this coming. I wasn't paying enough attention."  
  
'You should never say such a thing. None of this is your fault. If only I opened my dumb mouth and told you I wasn't feeling well maybe all this could've been avoided.' Ephram wanted to say but was too debilitated to speak up.  
  
"Andy, you're doing fine. Don't go blaming yourself for everything. Ephram's a brave and strong kid. He will overcome any obstacle." Nina rationalized.  
  
Ephram's drowsiness and lethargy forced his weighty eyelids to close. He wanted to hear the continued conversation between his father and Nina but his brain wouldn't allow it. His brain told him he needed sleep and he denied it by blinking awake. The refusal only made his eyelids bounce back twice as heavy. He did this several times and finally gave in and drifted off into a deep sleep.  
  
"I guess it's only natural for a parent to worry about all the should've, could've, would've's to prevent things from happening to their children." Andy said. "Ephram and Delia are all I have. When something bad happens to either of them, I get this way. I blame myself. Some of it's true."  
  
"This was nothing anyone could predict. You've been a very hardworking and dedicated father to your children. If only I can say the same for Sam's father. Now, there's a real jerk." Nina smirked. "Don't blame yourself for Ephram's suffering. He wouldn't want you to."  
  
"He's an ok kid. Maybe sometimes a little too head-strong and stubborn, but he's a good kid." Andy admitted.  
  
"Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Nina hinted with a smile. Andy laughed.  
  
"I'm just about done. How's the young prince doing?" Andy said as he removed the needle from Ephram's back and applied a sterile bandage to where the puncture had been made.  
  
"He's asleep." Nina noticed. "He must be exhausted."  
  
"Good. He needs sleep. Let's straighten him out." Andy fixed Ephram's clothing.  
  
With Nina's assistance, Andy extended Ephram's legs. They rolled him flat on his back. Ephram caught his father's attention when he grumbled something incoherently. Andy gently set Ephram's head onto the pillow. Before Andy could say a word, the boy let out a sigh and fell back into his peaceful slumber. The thick block of foam was placed back under Ephram's knees to keep the legs elevated. Nina pulled the thin sheet up and tucked him in.  
  
"I've got to bring these samples to the lab for evaluation." Andy said unwilling to leave his son alone.  
  
"Go. I'll sit with him while you're gone." Nina offered without hesitation. She pulled a chair next to Ephram's bed while Andy arranged the specimens and medical paraphernalia neatly.  
  
"I'll bring back a compress for the fever." Andy said and quietly left the room with the tray.  
  
Nina fixed her gaze at the unconscious boy lying motionless on the bed. There was only silence in the room except for a slight wheeze coming from Ephram's breathing. She watched him sleep. It was frightening how lively he had been earlier that morning only to become so sapped of strength and run down in just a few short hours - sort of like he's lived two lifetimes. Other than a hint of flush on his cheekbones stemming from the fever, his facial complexion was as white as the pillow he laid his head against. Nina reached over and fixed his dark ruffled hair. Ephram stirred in his slumber and Nina was afraid she'd waken him, but his eyes didn't open. Her heart flickered when she saw his face wince as he attempted to stretch. It wasn't fair. Nina thought tenderly how such a strong and free-spirited boy like Ephram could end up so confined and fragile. She wanted to caress him and make all his pain go away. With an elbow on the mattress, she rested her chin in the palm of her hand.  
  
"Ephram." She whispered. "You have to get well. For your father's sake. And for Delia." She paused. "But most of all, for me." She peered around the room suspiciously as if someone might've heard her. When she realized how silly she was for being so paranoid, she shrugged it off.  
  
"I haven't known you for a very long time. But for the time that I have known you, I've grown rather attached to you. I didn't think any one's kid could have this affect on me. Boy was I wrong." She whispered feeling more relaxed. "Maybe I don't show it enough for you to realize it. But truth is, you are like a son to me. I will always treat you like one of my own - no matter how unaware you are to my affections. And it's so easy for me to say these things to you right now. Coward as I am, I wouldn't have the nerve to tell you when you're conscious and certainly never display these feelings in front of your father. My heart bleeds when I see you like this."  
  
"Your mother must've been so lucky to have a son like you. She would've been so proud. Sam's only five but he looks up to you. Hell, everyone looks up to you. You just don't know it." She watched Ephram breathe thru his mouth. His lips parted slightly.  
  
"Why didn't you tell someone you were hurting? Why did you deny your pain? You are only a boy Ephram. You shouldn't have to mask your physical and emotional feelings like this. We don't expect you to be almighty, powerful, and unbreakable. You think you always have to put up this brave front because you're afraid others might see thru you. It's ok to show your weakness." Nina confided. She was getting comfortable talking to the unconscious boy. "I know the situation with your father before your mother died. I also know you think you have to fend for yourself and take after Delia since you thought there was no one left to care for either of you. That is an awfully big burden for a fifteen year old. I wish you would let someone take care of you. Let me take care of you."  
  
"I'll tell you another thing. Your father - he may be wet behind the ears on how to raise his kids and you think he wouldn't know how to even if it ran right smack in his face, but he's trying so hard. If only you knew how much he wants to have that special bond with you again. There are so many things you don't see. Your father is a different and better person now than what he may have been in the past. You just have to realize that." Nina's eyes began to tear. She touched Ephram's hand. The tears were uncontrollable. She held in her sobs.  
  
"Don't give up, baby." She whispered. "I love you son."  
  
The sound of a creaking door startled Nina. With her back against the door, she stood up, quickly brushed the remaining tears away from her face and wiped it on her jeans.  
  
"Everything ok?" Andy questioned standing by the door holding a small towel and a basin of water.  
  
"Yep. Fine." She said abruptly. She wondered how much of her rambling had he actually heard. "Here, let me help."  
  
She extended her hands for the basin meanwhile avoiding any eye contact to hide the fact that she'd been crying. She did that well by keeping busy and distracted with soaking, wringing, and applying the cool cloth to Ephram's toasty forehead. There was no conversation for a good half hour.  
  
"Do you think he's going to be ok?" Nina finally broke the silence.  
  
"From a doctor's stand point, it doesn't look too promising. Apparently, that fall did more harm than the blood clot. Worse case scenario, he may never be able to walk on his own." Andy answered grimly.  
  
"You said 'may.' So there's a chance he might still be able to fully recover. Right?" Nina inquired.  
  
"Chances are slim. At this rate, he's able to wiggle his right toe and that's always a good sign. If the spinal contusion was severely complicated with the fall, even if he regains the function of his legs, he wouldn't be able to walk without crutches. I'm hoping the CT and X-ray results will tell me something good." Andy replied. Strong and stoic as he was, a tear rolled down his cheek and blended in his thick beard. He bit his lip and turned away to hide his vulnerability from Nina.  
  
"Oh." Nina sighed with a broken heart. A soft moan passed thru Ephram's lips. The coldness of the cloth suppressed the burning flame under the boy's skin as Nina dabbed the boy's warm forehead and cheeks with care. Several droplets of water escaped the cloth and trickled down Ephram's neck and slid onto his chest where it evaporated in an instant. With eyes closed, he moved his head slowly.  
  
"Ahhh." Ephram surprisingly cracked a weary smile.  
  
"Is that better?" Nina asked.  
  
"Mmm. That feels good." Ephram murmured feverishly.  
  
"I'm glad it's helping." Nina said sounding more enthusiastic for the boy's sake.  
  
"It's so hot in here." Ephram swallowed with eyes still shut.  
  
"You've got a fever." Nina explained. She continued to apply the compress to his neck and chest.  
  
"Where's dad?" Ephram raised his voice. He sounded like a little lost child.  
  
"I'm right here buddy." Andy touched Ephram's hand. Andy wanted to hug the living daylights out of his son. Suddenly agitated, Ephram's eyes shot open and rapid breathing took over.  
  
"Oh no, Delia. Delia. I didn't mean to scare her like that." Ephram slurred. "I have to - "  
  
"Shhh. Delia is ok. She's with Nina's mom and Sam in the waiting room. I'll bring Delia by to see you later." Andy rubbed his son's arm to calm him down.  
  
Achy and tired, Ephram didn't have the energy to rebut his father. He allowed his head to sink into the soft delicate pillow. It cushioned and cradled his feverish head in the most comfortable and relaxing way he ever thought possible. Never had a mattress been so tender under his aching body. It was like he was lying on a massive cloud of fluff. His shoulders were stiff and knotted with such tenseness that upon the touch of this very softness, he felt every muscle unwind. His lower back was sore from the spinal tap as well as from the fall. His legs were still numb and tingly as the heparin did its work in dissolving the blood clot. Andy watched his son's eyelids droop to a close with drowsiness. And the worry from Ephram's brow softened as he fell asleep again.  
  
Andy and Nina looked at each other with heartfelt sorrow in their eyes. They swallowed the extensive tear shed they so badly wanted to let out. They would've never been able to stop crying. Andy reached over and gave Ephram a gentle kiss on the cheek. It was not something he normally did. He knew his son was touchy when it came to parents showing affection for their children in certain places. Ephram was at the ripe old age of eight when he decided it was inappropriate for his parents to advertise parental affection towards him. He refused to hold his parents hand when they went out because he didn't want people to think he was a baby. Kissing and hugging him in front of his friends, at school or anywhere was strictly forbidden. They were not allowed to yell out, "I love you, honey." Or anything remotely related when he was playing with his friends. He would go kicking and screaming if either parent showed any budding signs of smothering him with love at any given place aside from home. He wanted to be so independent and grown up. Andy was glad Delia was different. Delia was still very receptive to hugs and kisses. Andy couldn't even remember the last time he kissed Ephram. It had been too long. He didn't care what Ephram had to say about it now. Perhaps it was even now that Ephram needed that kiss the most. Andy watched Ephram sleep for a while.  
  
The poor boy suffered excruciating pain in his back from falling, he survived the deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism, and now he's running a fever of 101. Above all this, he was still thinking about Delia. He didn't seem worried about his own well being. Delia had always been a top priority. He cared so much for the little bugger. And Andy was thankful to have such a selfless and devoted son like Ephram.  
  
The most difficult part was telling Ephram he might be relying on a wheelchair for the remainder of his life.  
  
* end chapter 3 * 


	4. Delia's Disappearance

Chapter 4: Delia's Disappearance  
  
"Good morning Nina! You're looking well rested." Andy peeped his head thru the door of the hospital waiting area. He spoke ironically observing her tired eyes and tousled light brown hair.  
  
"Hey, speak for yourself." Nina yawned and stretched on the couch. "What time is it?"  
  
"A little after 10." Andy replied silently admiring Nina trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes.  
  
"Gosh, I over slept!" Nina yawned again.  
  
"No you didn't. You were exhausted. You needed your sleep after being up all night."  
  
"Sam is usually my wake-up call. He'd wake me up to make him breakfast. But since my mom took him home last night, I didn't hear my little human alarm clock go off." Nina said. "Aren't you tired, Andy?" She was amazed at his liveliness.  
  
"No. After five pots of black coffee, I'm wide-awake. Actually, I'm used to it. I'm a doctor remember? Long hours, sleepless nights. My body is trained to need very little sleep."  
  
"Where have you been?" Nina ran her fingers thru her tangled hair.  
  
"I've been in radiology before dawn waiting for Ephram's test results. Results are due at twelve noon." Andy scanned the entire area of the waiting room. "Where's Delia?"  
  
"Isn't she with you?" Nina said after glancing at the empty couch where the child had been sleeping.  
  
"No, she's not with me."  
  
"The last I saw, she was asleep on that couch over there. And that was about 5 this morning. I've been so tired. I must've slept like a log without hearing her get up." She smacked her forehead with the palm of her hand. "I'm so sorry Andy."  
  
"It's not your fault. We were all under considerable stress." Andy forgave. "Where do you suppose she is?"  
  
"Probably in the bathroom. I'll go check." Nina quickened her pace to the women's restroom. She entered the cold damp restroom calling Delia's name repeatedly and checked every stall in the bathroom for any signs of the young girl. The echoes of the leaky faucet and Nina's voice bounced off the tiles and suggested no one was in there.  
  
"Well?" Andy said impatiently as Nina stepped out of the restroom. She shook her head. "I just checked the lounge and vending machines, she's not there either."  
  
"Do you think she went looking for you and got lost?" Nina guessed.  
  
"That could be a possibility. I'll ask around and check with the nurse's station. Maybe someone has seen her walking around."  
  
"Good idea."  
  
"I'll swing by the doctor's lounge on the way back."  
  
"I'll check the cafeteria. Maybe she got hungry. I'll also look in the lobby downstairs. She's got to be around here somewhere." Nina scratched her head.  
  
"That young lady has a lot of explaining to do when we find her. I'm going to have a long talk with that youngster about the dangers of venturing out by herself." Andy fumed. "She is so grounded." Andy was outwardly angry on his daughter's sudden foolish lack of responsibility, but inwardly, his heart was brimming with worry for her safety.  
  
"Don't worry, we'll find her." Nina comforted. She felt Andy's racking anxiety and fear on the disappearance of his daughter. "We'll meet back here in 15 minutes, ok?"  
  
Andy nodded and the search was on.  
  
******  
  
A sudden discomfort caused him to awaken from his much needed sleep. With eyes shut, Ephram breathed out and felt something weighing heavily upon his chest restricting his breath. He drew a deep breath again and the weight was still there. A soft object pressed down on his chest making it difficult for him to inhale and exhale properly. The heaviness made him hot and uncomfortable. He opened his eyes to see what was causing this nuisance. Mixed with the medication and the sunlight creeping thru the blinds of the window, all he saw was a haze of colors. He couldn't explain what was happening to him. Was this the start of another painful episode? Another pulmonary whatchamacallit? Or was he having a heart attack? But then again, wasn't he too young to have a heart attack? All these thoughts of uncertainty scared him. He wanted to call for the nurse. All he had to do was to press that little red button.  
  
'No wonder I can't breathe. Whose stupid idea was it to put this heavy blanket on me.' Ephram's thought dizzily. 'Bad enough I had a fever, are they trying to suffocate me with this thick blanket?!'  
  
He groaned in annoyance and wanted to kick the smothering blanket off but he remembered his legs were still elevated with the block of foam and could barely move. He tried to find the strength in his left arm to push the thick blanket off his chest when a tickle developed on a spot on his forearm making him desperately in need of scratching it. He squinted to see what was irritating him so. It was a blotch of fuzzy pastel blue. He blinked and shook his head to clear his vision. As his eyes focused slightly, he realized it was a toy. It looked a lot like the fuzzy teddy bear that he had won for Delia at the Shooting Gallery. He wondered what Delia's toy was doing sitting on his stomach. His blanket caught his attention. Thru the corner of his eye he could've sworn he saw it shift by itself. Ephram thought it was the medication doing tricks on his eyes. He shook his head again.  
  
Much to Ephram's surprise, what appeared to resemble a heavy blanket, was not a blanket at all. It was his sister resting her cheek against his chest fast asleep. What was Delia doing in his bed? Somehow, she had managed to climb onto Ephram's bed and nestled herself under Ephram's right arm. Delia's long shiny chestnut brown hair flowed passed her small shoulders like ribbons of chocolate. Ephram admired her soft impish facial features. She definitely had his nose. He also noticed a few trails of dried tearstains on her cheek. Poor kid must've cried herself to sleep. She had one arm clasped tightly around Ephram's waist.  
  
"Del." Ephram croaked. He had forgotten how raspy his voice sounded. "Del?" Ephram shook her a little. She was showing signs of waking from her burnt out sleep.  
  
"Ephram?" Delia raised her head sleepily.  
  
"You're crushing my ribs." Ephram hissed.  
  
"Sorry." Delia responded getting off his chest.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Ephram whispered.  
  
"I was listening to your heartbeat, then I guess I fell asleep." Delia answered. She stretched out lying on her stomach.  
  
"It was that boring, huh?" Ephram attempted to laugh but only ended up coughing.  
  
"Want water?"  
  
"No. I'm ok." Ephram cleared his throat and rubbed his chest. "Does dad know you're here?"  
  
Delia shook her head sadly. "I wanted to be with you. I wanted to make sure you're ok. I'm scared Ephram. I really am."  
  
"What could you possibly be scared of? You're the most courageous girl I know."  
  
"I'm scared of losing you like we lost mom." Tears welled up in her eyes.  
  
"Delia, please don't cry." Ephram pleaded. "This was just a little set- back. I'll get better, you'll see." He said pointing to his legs. "Hey, sorry you never got to ride that pony." Ephram said wanting to change the subject. "You'll ride them next time."  
  
"No, no, no. I don't want to ride them anymore. I don't ever want to go to another fair as long as I live." Delia defied shaking her head from side to side.  
  
"You don't mean that. I thought you loved ponies and cotton candy and merry- go-rounds." Ephram said shockingly.  
  
"I used to. I don't care for any of that now." She said indefinitely.  
  
"But why?" Ephram shot a surprised look at his sister. She only shrugged and aimlessly toyed with the polka-dotted bow on her bear. "Was it because of me? Did I scare you?"  
  
Delia looked Ephram straight in the eye and boldly shook her head 'no', then slowly nodded to a 'yes'. She could never pull off a convincing lie.  
  
"I'm sorry." Was all Ephram could say. He was too tired to reason with his sister on her irrational feelings. He would have a talk with her when he was feeling better. The medication was taking its toll on his body and made him drowsy again. He knew better than to fight it. "You tired shorty?"  
  
"Yes." Delia yawned.  
  
"You must've been up all night." Ephram blinked sleepily at his sister who was staring quizzically at him. "I'll let you in on a secret. I'm tired too. What say we take a nap right now?" He drawled.  
  
Being extra careful not to dislocate the IV in his wrist, Ephram pulled his sister close to him gently with his right arm. Delia willingly snuggled under her protector's wing.  
  
"You should tell dad you're here. You know how he worries." Ephram sighed tiredly. Though, he made no effort to release his sister. He was much too fatigued to move any part of his body.  
  
"I know. I'll tell him later." Delia whispered half-asleep. She had a restless night and was dead tired as well.  
  
"I love you knucklehead." Ephram blurted before falling into the sleep his body so desperately craved.  
  
******  
  
"Any luck?" Andy spotted Nina waiting for him in the corridor.  
  
"No. I looked everywhere I could think of." Nina said biting her fingernail.  
  
"No luck here either. I can't believe nobody has seen her walking around. And they call this place a hospital?" Andy shouted almost too loudly. "I wouldn't be surprised if the patients checked themselves out of the hospital without anyone knowing." He ran a frustrated hand thru his dark brown hair.  
  
"Andy, I know you're worried but we will find her." Nina calmed.  
  
"Arrgh! It's so aggravating." He wanted to pull his hair out.  
  
"Delia probably went unnoticed because she's so small. It's easy for her to make her way thru the building without being seen. No one would suspect anything out of the ordinary even if she had." Nina said. "Let's think. You don't suppose she went out of the building do you?"  
  
"I don't think she would have a reason to. We're running out of options here. Do you know how big this hospital is? It would take days to scour it from top to bottom searching every little crawl space."  
  
"If that's what we have to do, then that's what we'll do." Nina replied. "But there has to be a place we haven't looked yet."  
  
"Did you think she went somewhere to hide? I mean, she was a little shook up after witnessing what happened at the fair, she might be in shock." Andy paced back and forth nervously.  
  
"Andy, will you stop pacing? You're making me dizzy." Nina stammered.  
  
"I really hope she's alright. It's not like her to go somewhere without letting anyone know. This thing with Ephram and now Delia's missing -" Andy stopped in his tracks as his mouth hung open. They read each other's mind.  
  
"Ephram's room!!" They both exclaimed in perfect unison. Andy and Nina raced down the hall to Ephram's room.  
  
All this time, the answer to their big dilemma was right under their noses. To find Delia, they only had to walk a short distance down the hall to the room where her brother lay. It was elementary and they neglected to see the solution that stood right before their eyes. Ephram's room should have been the first place they checked. It was so obvious.  
  
The door to Ephram's room flung open and Andy stumbled inside with Nina shortly behind. Delia had been found. He couldn't be mad at Delia for caring so much about her brother. Andy had never been so moved at the scene that stood before them that whatever anger he felt before had vanished.  
  
The two exhausted kids were sound asleep in each other's arms. Ephram covered his right arm protectively over Delia's shoulder. Delia cuddled next to Ephram and had resumed her clasped arm around her brother's waist. She was not going to let any harm come to her loved one. Her rosy cheek rested against Ephram's bicep. Delia had kicked off her sneakers and was in her stocking feet. The blue fuzzy plush teddy bear from the fair was tucked between Delia and Ephram. Andy ventured towards his children.  
  
"Oh Andy, that is so sweetie. Look at your babies." Nina repressed her excitement.  
  
"Yea, a couple of fallen angels." Andy whispered back.  
  
"Don't wake them." Nina cautioned as she saw Andy reaching out his hand to touch Ephram.  
  
"I don't intend to. I just want to move Delia's head so the circulation in Ephram's arm won't get cut off." He said pointing to Ephram's bicep. Nina nodded. Andy slowly lifted Delia's head and adjusted Ephram's arm to a more comfortable position. Delia stirred in her sleep and snuggled even closer to Ephram's side. Andy smiled at his daughter's loyalty. He confirmed the IV in his son's wrist was still intact and not disturbed with all the unnecessary movement.  
  
"The redness and swelling has gone down a bit." Andy said when he pulled Ephram's left pant leg up for a quick inspection.  
  
"Can't you just eat them up?" Nina marveled as she drew the thin blanket up to tuck in the children. She couldn't help put brush a finger against his cool cheek. "The fever's gone." She studied Ephram's face. He was paler than usual, with dark circles remaining under his eyes. "Andy, are you sure this is normal? His face is so ghastly."  
  
"It'll take a while for the color to come back to his cheeks. The medication and drugs had taken a lot out of him. I'll keep him on the IV for another day or so. His body needs to be replenished of fluids and nutrients."  
  
"Look at the way he's breathing." Nina detected. She shook her head in sympathy.  
  
"The pulmonary embolism made his lungs weak. But at least he's able to breath on his own." Andy replied. A slight wheezing sound came from Ephram's breathing as he inhaled and exhaled thru his mouth. He involuntarily gasped for air when his breath became too shallow and once that air satisfied his lungs, his breathing evened out. His difficult respiration repeated this way as he slept.  
  
"It sounds harsh. Wish there was something we could do to make it easier for him." Nina smoothed Ephram's blanket.  
  
"You love him don't you?" Andy found himself suddenly saying. Nina blushed deeply and turned away. She was searching for the right words. What was so terrible about it that made her feel embarrassed to admit? Was it not allowed to love someone and to care for him like he was one of your own? Maybe it was not her place to play 'dear old mother' to someone she knew so little about. She was, after all, just the girl next door - the friendly neighbor - a nobody. Who was she to suddenly step into their lives and play the devoted mother and loving wife to this family? Ephram and Delia were not the only ones she had feelings for. There were repressed romantic feelings she buried deep in her heart for Andy. They were feelings she could never reveal.  
  
"It's not so hard to see. You worry about him the way I do. And I appreciate that." Andy smiled.  
  
"Is it so obvious?" Nina said. "He makes it easy to love him." There, she said it.  
  
"I know for a fact that Ephram enjoys you fawning over him. Hey, I may be blind to parenting and a lot of other things but there are certain things I can see very clearly. And this is one of them. Just don't tell him I said that."  
  
Nina looked up and caught Andy's grin. She reddened.  
  
"The test results should be in now. Should we go?" Andy spoke to deter the awkwardness.  
  
"Sure." Nina headed to the door and reached for the doorknob.  
  
"Nina?" Andy called from behind. She turned her head. "Just thanks. Thanks for being here." Andy added.  
  
"No sweat." Nina grinned.  
  
* end of chapter 4 *  
  
Author's Note: There are more chapters to come. Hope you are enjoying this so far!! :) Thanks for reading!! 


	5. Let The Truth Be Told

Chapter 5: Let The Truth Be Told  
  
"He's been asleep an awfully long time." Nina spoke in a low tone as she shifted her glance from Ephram to her watch. "It's 4:30 now - so that means wow, he's been sleeping for over twenty-four hours straight?! Something's not right." She shifted nervously in her seat and crossed her left leg over her right knee. "Maybe we should wake him."  
  
"No, don't do that. He's just sleeping as much as he can. It's the body's way of dealing with physical stress and pain. Let him sleep for a while longer." Andy darted a glance over at the bed where his unconscious son lay. "Give him time to heal his body."  
  
"I'm just impatient. He looks horrible."  
  
"Luckily, the spinal tap results show no signs of infection."  
  
"Hollow cheeks and sunken eyes. He's too scrawny. I'm afraid to touch him thinking he might snap in half. He must be so under weight. I've got to feed him and put some meat on those bones. Nobody's gonna believe he's fifteen. He looks twelve." Nina rattled.  
  
"He's probably that way because cooking has never been one of my strong points. Nothing I make for him is halfway edible or appetizing. This is coming from a guy who managed to screw up toast. But hey, with a little practice and advice, I've graduated from making fried eggs to omelets." Andy's eyes lit up hoping to impress Nina. "Then again, that's the only thing I know how to make right now and it would be silly to have that everyday. It won't be long before we be swapping recipes."  
  
"How can you be so calm? You always seem like you're in control. Does it have something to do with being a doctor or what?" She eyed him suspiciously.  
  
"Are you kidding? I'm a nervous wreck."  
  
"Right, and you definitely show it." She exaggerated and made an "OK" sign with her fingers.  
  
"No, really I am. I just hide it very well." Andy replied. "I'm glad your mom took Delia for a stroll in the park. A breath of fresh air will do the kid some good."  
  
"Yea, but it was like pulling teeth to tear her away from Ephram. She's so cute."  
  
"She didn't even want to go to the cafeteria to eat lunch because she was afraid to miss Ephram waking up. And that's pretty amazing for a girl who's always the first one to remind everyone it's lunchtime." Andy kept his voice low.  
  
"Delia's sweet."  
  
"They've always been close but I think Delia attached herself to Ephram especially after Julia died. Delia is the most forgiving person I know. I'll admit that I don't know her as well as I should, since I haven't been around and all that, but she doesn't let that reason stop her from giving me half a chance." Andy said. He folded his hands together and twiddled his thumbs. "It took Ephram here a while to come around though. But I would like to think we're getting there."  
  
"Shut up." Ephram grumbled. He appeared to be in a troubled sleep. The words from the sick boy caught the adults' attention and they hovered over his bed anxious for him to wake.  
  
"Ex-cuse me??" Andy said humorously to his son. Ephram moaned.  
  
"You're talking too loud." Ephram blinked open his eyes to find two figures standing over him. He didn't have to guess who they were - he knew it was his father and Nina.  
  
"Well, good afternoon sleeping beauty!" Andy joked. "How are you?"  
  
"I have a bad headache." Ephram squinted. The medication was wearing off. The low drone of conversation added with the light from the room's fixtures and sunlight thru the window made his headache worse. He had to close his eyes to block the blinding glare. Sharp pain emanated from the base of his skull putting stress on his neck and shoulders. The ill feeling from the lack of drugs and sensitivity to light and sound made him dazed and woozy. "I'm going to pass out." He groaned bringing a concerned look on Nina's face.  
  
"Hey, there will be no passing out here, you understand me?" Andy replied lovingly. "Your headache is just a side effect from the spinal tap. It's an imbalance of fluid pressure in your spine. The spinal fluid bathes your spinal cord. And because of the needle puncture to the inner tube, fluid leaks out. So an imbalance of pressure occurs. Tension is applied to your nerves so a headache is not uncommon. Here, drink some of this." Andy took a cup from the end table. It was a tall cup with a green bendable straw sticking out.  
  
"I feel like I have a hangover." Ephram didn't have the patience to listen to his father's nerdy and elaborate explanation of the cause of this headache. He only knew his head was hurting - he didn't care where it came from, he just wanted it to go away.  
  
"Wait a cotton pickin' minute. Howdy YOU know what them hangover feels like? You not tellin' me somepin, boy?" Andy kidded in the best southern cowboy drawl he could muster up. He was aiming for a smile from Ephram and had succeeded.  
  
"Good one dad. Everwood needs a comedian." Ephram replied.  
  
Without batting an eye, Ephram watched Nina prop him up by the shoulders. Her skin had a soft wild flowery scent. She always had on just the right amount of fragrance - neither too strong nor too weak. Though, it wasn't Nina's style to douse herself with excessive perfume. Ephram was intoxicated by her pleasant smell. He held back a smile. The delicate smell reminded him so much of his mother. His mother always smelled nice no matter where she went - whether it was to a fancy social function or around the corner to the Duane Reade for a tube of toothpaste. That hint of sweet pea would follow her everywhere. Each time he hugged her, he would catch a whiff of that very scent. It was the calming smell that reassured him everything was going to be alright. He missed that smell.  
  
Nina kept up her hopeful smile. He didn't mind being so weak that he had to completely rely on her to stay propped up. He was like a giant ragged doll dangling in her arms. Andy brought the straw to Ephram's lips as Nina held the cup. Ephram's sultry throat was parched and a big gulp of ice cold water would be just the thing he needed. Assuming it was cold water, Ephram thirstily sucked hard on the straw. He had not anticipated the liquid to be other than water nor did he bother to look into the cup to see what he was drinking. His undivided attention had been on Nina's graceful movements the entire time. After drawing up the first gulp, the sharp tart liquid went up his windpipe. He coughed and choked violently spraying Nina's hand with the sticky substance. Andy took back the cup and grabbed some paper towels to wipe up the mess.  
  
Ephram didn't have the energy to cough but he had to relieve the obstruction in his trachea. After all, his chest was still tight and tingly from recovering from the pulmonary embolism. His hacking cough rattled and shook every inch of the boy's frail body. Little tears spewed from the corner of his eyes as he tightly squeezed his eyelids shut. After his gagging and coughing fit, he leaned the back of his head against Nina's shoulder drained of energy. He was putty in Nina's arms. They watched attentively until he got his strength back.  
  
"Take it easy. Slow down. There we go." Nina said rubbing his back in a circular motion with her hand to ease the discomfort.  
  
"Sorry." He said sheepishly as he cleared his throat several times. A little embarrassed, he wiped the liquid off his chin with the back of his left hand. Andy wiped his son's mouth and hands with the paper towels.  
  
"Don't apologize. Are you ok now?" She cooed. "That cough sounded terrible."  
  
"Geez, that hurts." Ephram rubbed his chest and winced.  
  
"I'll bet." Andy raised an eyebrow. "What were you trying to do? Cough up your kidneys?"  
  
"That's not water." Ephram stated as he noted the sweet bubbly aftertaste.  
  
"No kidding." Andy beamed. "It's Coca Cola. The caffeine will help lessen your headache." Andy explained. "Ready for round two?" Andy said holding out the cup towards Ephram. "Maybe this time you won't shoot it out your nose."  
  
"Very funny dad." Ephram's voice squeaked.  
  
"Bottom's up, kid." Andy said.  
  
Ephram obediently drank the remainder of the soda. Once he was done, Nina lay him down and pulled up the covers to his chest. He croaked out a loud burp, which, in reality, would've been quite vulgar, but given the circumstances, anything Ephram did seemed cute to the adults.  
  
"Young man!" Nina flashed a smile and pretended to be dumbfounded. "Burping now are we?"  
  
"Didn't it feel better to get that out of your system?" Andy ruffled Ephram's hair. Ephram smiled and stared at his father with his big glassy greenish-gray eyes.  
  
"How's your headache?" Nina asked.  
  
"Still there, but it's a bit better now." Ephram replied. He stared at his legs.  
  
The dreadful question had been bouncing back and forth in his restless mind like the dot in an old Atari video game for a long time. Part of him didn't want to know the answer mostly because he was afraid of the truth. Deep down in the pit of his gut, he knew that truth. Hope was all he had and his grasp on it was slipping. He's seen the way his father avoided the topic the last time he tried to ask. He's seen the pained expression on Nina's face like a car just squished her pet cat. Even Delia's sudden overbearing attachment to him insinuated something very wrong. His question lingered - Will he ever walk again? He wanted to just come right out and ask but he didn't know how or even if he would get a straight answer. Whatever the outcome, he needed to be brave and take the truth like a man. But how could he? He was just a boy. His life had yet to begin and already, he may be deprived of a function so basic and fundamental like walking. The fate of his way of life was on trial. Things were about to change - he felt it. How could Ephram face his father with tears in his eyes when told he won't be able to walk again?  
  
"I'll go wash my hands. You gonna be ok?" Nina said to Ephram. He nodded. She knew Andy needed a moment alone with his son. "I'll be back in a while." She left the room.  
  
Now, there was only silence as Ephram waited for his father to take the first stab at conversation. He only stared at the old tired bearded face before him with a heavy heart. Andy took a seat at the edge of Ephram's bed.  
  
"You know, Delia is really anxious to see you. You've got one loyal fan there. She was stuck to you like crazy glue the whole time." Andy said trying to lighten the mood. "We had to use a crowbar to pry her away from you. And remember that teddy bear you won for her? Well, she won't part with it only because of the fact that YOU gave it to her. You should've seen what happened when I tried to take it away. It was like this cute and sweet 8 year old turning into an instant Freddy Krueger. Warning - do not get on Delia's bad side. It's not a pretty sight - I tell you. Be VERY afraid. I never knew she had such sharp nails. She takes that thing everywhere. Even to the bathroom."  
  
"Dad - " Ephram cut off. He felt the hot tears behind his eyeballs ready to pour down his face.  
  
"What?" Andy sounded surprised.  
  
"You're stalling." Ephram's voice shook. "I want to know about my legs."  
  
"Ephram. It's only been two days."  
  
"Tell me dad. I want to know." A tear had already escaped the barriers of his eyes.  
  
"Look, Ephram." Andy paused in hesitation. He didn't want to add to his son's distress. His son was in no condition to take more bad news. The tears were already starting their journey down the poor boy's pallid cheeks.  
  
"There's no way to sugar-coat it. I'm never going to walk again, am I?" Ephram bit his lip as he searched for the truth in his father's eyes. "I just need to hear it from you."  
  
"The blood clots seem to be dissolving nicely and as expected. However, there are complications with the healing process of your spinal contusion. Your X-ray and CT scan results show that when you fell, additional pressure was applied to the injury site causing damage to some nerve fibers. It will take time for your body to repair them."  
  
"So, is that a yes or no?" Ephram hated the suspense.  
  
"All I can say for now is that any likelihood of recovery diminishes after six months." Andy eyes hardened.  
  
"You're avoiding the question again." Ephram muttered. "Please dad."  
  
"Ephram, I want to believe that one day you will be able to walk again. I just can't give you a definite answer right now." Andy blurted. "What I'm saying is, you have a good chance to regain the strength and motor function in your legs though it's not going to happen overnight. No one knows how long - several years maybe. But for the time being, you will need to depend on a wheelchair to get around. Your legs don't have the inherent capacity to hold up your body. At least for now." Andy said. "I'm sorry, Ephram."  
  
The word 'wheelchair' danced around in his head. His nightmare was coming true. The contraption he detested the most was something he is going to continuously rely and depend on for years to come. The very thing that hurt his pride was taking over his life.  
  
"But I can feel my legs. I just can't move them. I'm able to move my toes though." Ephram swallowed the massive salty lump caught in his throat.  
  
"Yes, that is naturally a good sign. It means the circulation is back and your body is healing from the blood clot. But like I said, your legs are not strong enough to hold up your body. You will have to go thru extensive rehab before you can even stand up on your own." Andy saw the tears brimming in his son's eyes. "I don't want to rule out any slight possibility that you will recover. If you show signs of improvement within the first six months, it increases the chances of recovery." He was trying to give him hope.  
  
Andy saw the despair in Ephram's eyes. Ephram closed his eyes and turned his head. His eyebrows shook and chin quivered. The sturdy dam he built to prevent the tears from slipping was slowly crumbling.  
  
"Ephram?" Andy's concern grew.  
  
"Dad, I'd like to be alone." Ephram said calmly.  
  
"I'm not leaving you alone Ephram. I won't leave you."  
  
"I'll be alright. I just need a moment. Please?" His tears had begun.  
  
"Ephram. Look at me." Andy tried to comfort his son.  
  
"I can't. I can't look at you." Ephram stifled a small sob. "Please. Let me alone." He begged. "Just for a while."  
  
"Is that what you really want?" Andy questioned. Ephram nodded. "OK, then. But only for a few minutes. I'll be right outside." Andy added. He thought twice about staying and decided to head for the door. Just as he reached for the doorknob, he turned his head to face Ephram. "Son, I love you." Andy said.  
  
"Yea. I know." Ephram mumbled as his eyes blinked out a few droplets of tears. As soon as Ephram heard the door close, he exploded into tears and sobs. His whole world caved in on him. He tried to cover his eyes with his hands but the cruel tears seeped passed the gaps of his fingers.  
  
*** Outside Looking In ***  
  
Nina strolled down the hall after a visit to the washroom to get the sticky soda off her hands. She made sure Andy and Ephram had enough private time before she barged in on them again. They probably had things to talk about that were not meant for her ears. She turned around the corridor and stopped short when she found Andy loitering outside of Ephram's room peering thru the small rectangular window apparently watching his son from the outside.  
  
"What's going on? Why are you out here?" Nina asked while she approached Andy. "You told him." Nina said as-a-matter-of-factly judging from Andy's serious expression.  
  
"I had to. He wanted to know the truth so badly. And he deserved to know." Andy jammed his hands into his white lab coat and continued to stare pass the window.  
  
"How did he take the news?" Nina folded her arms.  
  
"Not good." He turned to face Nina. "Maybe I shouldn't have told him so fast. Maybe I should have waited until he was feeling better. I don't know what to do any more." He doubted himself.  
  
"Andy, don't be so hard on yourself." Nina touched his arm. "The last thing Ephram wants is to be lied to. He trusts you."  
  
"I want to be there for him but he won't let me. He kicked me out of his room, Nina. He said he wanted to be by himself. I'm not sure if I did the right thing by letting him alone like that. Look at him." Andy nodded towards the window.  
  
Nina peeked thru the window to see Ephram's shoulders shaking with each sob. "Poor kid."  
  
"I can't stand to see him sobbing like that and there's no one to hold him. We should be with him." Andy already had his hands on the doorknob.  
  
"Wait Andy. Give him a moment. I think he needs a moment." Nina suggested. Andy gave her a confused look.  
  
"Do you ever notice the way he acts so brave in front of you? Like he can handle everything all by himself?" Nina questioned. She nodded her head and waited until Andy slowly bobbed his head in an agreeing fashion.  
  
"Don't you see? He's found a good quality in you to model after. Andy, your son wants to be strong and fearless like you. I'm not saying it's a bad thing but because of that, he hides his feelings all too well and refuses to accept help from anyone. Ephram's at such a young age - he shouldn't be thinking that way. Sometimes, he acts like he's ambivalent about everything, like he doesn't care - even in front of you. Truth is, he does care. He needs help and guidance but he's too ashamed to ask for it. He doesn't know that it's ok to be vulnerable. I don't think he wants you to see him crying and bawling like a baby. You are the man he looks up to and wants to gain approval from the most. And for you to see him at his weakest moment, he thinks he has disappointed you. You see yourself as a screw up in his life and it might've started out that way but I think little by little, you're rubbing off on the kid. He's beginning to learn that there is more to you than what he sees in plain sight."  
  
"What? How do you know?" Andy was taken aback by the comment. "I mean, I never thought of it that way before."  
  
"Some things are easier to see when you're on the outside looking in. The view is very clear from here, Andy." She winked. "Let him blow off some steam."  
  
"Wow. So, you really think Ephram looks up to me?" Andy leaned the back of his head against the door. Andy was surprised he didn't possess the insight that Nina had.  
  
"Oh yes. He does. You're a remarkable man. Don't think that Ephram doesn't see it. But don't expect him to show it either. The Brown pride seems to run in the family." Nina pursed her lips. "And something else, he respects you. You think he doesn't because he's always trying to tick you off, but he's starting to know where you're coming from. People show affection in different ways Andy. Annoying you is just his way of showing his affection for you."  
  
"You know, you've got a knack for analyzing people. You'd make a great psychiatrist. Nina, how did you get so damn smart?"  
  
"Ha - I'm a woman. It's called woman's intuition. That's how."  
  
"Are we, outsiders, so easy to figure out?"  
  
"No, your type is the hardest - so reserved and withdrawn." Nina wrinkled her nose. "Ephram needs our support. We've got to be strong for him. We'll do whatever it takes."  
  
*** Battle Scars ***  
  
The next couple days were most difficult for Ephram as he let the idea of being wheelchair bound sink into his head. The thoughts revolved around and haunted him every waking moment. And when he grew weary of thinking about his situation, he passed the time by sleeping. Sleep was his only escape and he found comfort in it even when he wasn't tired. Ephram often used sleep as an excuse to get everyone out of the room and leave him alone. Sometimes, when he heard someone enter the room, he would close his eyes and pretend he was asleep. He felt his life had unsuspectingly hit a gargantuan iceberg and he was drowning in the cold icy waters. He didn't feel the desire to live anymore. Hence, he withdrew himself from the ones he loved. The answers to questions asked of him were kept to a minimal. Smiling and happiness no longer existed for Ephram no matter how his father tried to be funny and provoke laughter. He would only turn his head, find a spot in the corner of the ceiling and stare at it. There had been not a single tear shed since the day his father told him the news. Both Andy and Nina were very worried. No one knew what to do.  
  
"Ephram. I brought you some lunch." Nina called as she entered the room. She set the metal tray of food on the rolling over the bed table.  
  
Standing in the middle of the room, she stared at the boy lying on his side with his back facing her. His flimsy backless top flung wide open exposing his knobby backbone and brittle shoulder blades protruding under his pale skin. The elastic waistband of his pants was low enough to reveal the long narrow pink scar trailing about five inches in his lower back - an unpleasant souvenir and reminder of the spinal surgery. And right below it was a white bandage covering the area where the spinal tap had been done.  
  
'Battle scars. He's too young to have battle scars.' Nina thought and shook her head. Ephram had been able to turn his torso onto his side, but his legs toppled over each other in a twisted manner. He had not stirred since she had walked in. His breathing was stable and appeared as though he was asleep.  
  
"Ephram?" Nina said softly. She couldn't see his face to tell whether he was really sleeping or pretending to be sleeping.  
  
"I'm not hungry." Ephram murmured without moving.  
  
"But you have to eat, honey." Nina lifted the cover on his food tray. "Let's see what we have here - hmm, looks like we have turkey and mashed potatoes with gravy today. And Ooo - blue Jell-O! I know you're partial to hospital cuisine, but it can't be that bad. Smells decent."  
  
"Then you eat it." Ephram retorted with no emotion. Nina recovered the steaming tray and walked towards Ephram's bed. She realized how small Ephram's body was compared to the bed. The bed could easily fit two Ephrams comfortably. Nina took a seat on his bed.  
  
"Honey, will you try and eat something?" Nina urged. She looked at the crown of his head where rumpled dark hair stuck up from leaning against the pillow too long.  
  
"I said I'm not hungry." Ephram muttered. "Did my dad send you?"  
  
"I would be lying if I said no. He's just worried about you. We all are. You won't talk. You won't eat. You don't want to see anyone." Nina stared at his pointy hairline at the nape of his neck. "Amy and Colin came by again this morning to see you."  
  
"I don't wanna see them."  
  
"They weren't the only ones asking about you, you know. Edna, Irv, and Dr. Abbott also wanted to know how you were doing. The Abbott's and the Hart's only came back from their Hawaiian vacation a few days ago but when they heard what happened, they all flocked over to inquire about you. Even Bright came. I don't know why you don't want to see any of them. They were devastated!"  
  
"I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me. I don't want their pity or guilt."  
  
"They care about you. I care about you."  
  
"Why can't everyone just leave me alone?" Ephram whispered.  
  
"Ephram, is that what you want? Do you want ME to leave you alone?" Nina's said sternly. "And I was beginning to think you liked my attention."  
  
"I'm tired now." Ephram mumbled after a short pause.  
  
"Well, I'm not leaving until I squeeze a nice conversation out of you." She persisted.  
  
"I'm not feeling well."  
  
"C'mon, you can fool everyone else with that line, but do you think you could really fool me? You're pretending to be tired so you can get rid of me. I tell ya, it's not going to be that easy. Snap out of it Ephram. Stop kidding around. I mean it." Nina shot back hoping to get a dramatic response.  
  
"I'm - " Ephram sighed trying to suppress a shaky voice as tears swelled in his throat. "I - " He tried again, but realized his voice was cracking so he just heaved another sigh and gave up. She waited for another sound out of the boy. But he was silent.  
  
"Ephram?" Nina said after her attempt at reverse psychology failed. More silence. A slight touch of panic crept under her skin as she continued to stare at the back of the boy's head. What if he really was sick and she was being so mean to him? What if he's not pretending? "Sweetie, are you alright?" No reply.  
  
Nina reached over and felt Ephram's forehead to see if he had a temperature. He didn't have a fever, however, he did have a face wet with tears. It wasn't long before his body shook as he sobbed into his pillow.  
  
"Oh Ephram. I didn't mean to be so cross with you. I just wanted you to talk to me." Nina apologized and rubbed his shoulder. "You are my soft spot and I can never really be mad at you."  
  
For the first time, Ephram turned his torso around to face her with humiliating red and swollen eyes. Looked like he'd been crying for hours. "I don't want you to leave." He blubbered.  
  
"I never planned to." Nina replied and embraced him with a comforting motherly hug. Ephram cried miserably into her shoulder and soaked her blouse thru with tears. Nina held him for as long as he needed. "That's good. Let it all out. You need to cry." She smoothed his hair while he choked on his sobs. "It's going to be ok." Nina said as his uncontrollable cries became even harder upon Nina's caring touch and gentle solace. He remembered the last time he cried this hard - it was at his mother's funeral. And the only one to comfort him then was his grandmother.  
  
"I'm sorry." Ephram bellowed. "Sorry for everything."  
  
"Sshh, nothing's your fault. You didn't do anything wrong." Nina hushed. She stroked his neck. "There, there. You're a good boy. Yes, you are." She whispered.  
  
"I'm so scared." He sobbed.  
  
"I feel your pain and grief, baby, don't think that I don't. I know you're very scared, but I'm always going to be here whenever you need me." She lulled.  
  
It's been too long since Ephram's been soothed and consoled. The year and a half without a mother had been the most difficult and challenging time for him. He was drifting aimlessly and falling deeper and deeper into the dark void where he felt out of touch with his emotions and those around him. He needed a safety net to catch him and there was no one - until Nina came along. The numbing feeling was gone. All he really needed was to be told that things are going to be alright and that someone cared. Ephram had a father to tell him all this and more, but he was so distant with him. Then again, he hadn't known Nina for very long either but there was something different about a mother's love that was hard to explain. It was a tenderness that Ephram yearned for.  
  
"I love you." He murmured in desperation. This sudden group of words caught Nina in a stupor. She hadn't expected the boy to say those words to her. It was apparent that she had earned his love. She looked down at the weeping boy shivering in her arms and smiled.  
  
"Love you too." Nina wasn't sure if Ephram heard her thru his sobs. She hoped he did.  
  
When the faucets of his eyes gradually ended the waterworks and the uncontrollable sobbing calmed down, Nina let him go. She put her hands on his cheeks and wiped the remaining tears away with her thumbs. "Listen to me Ephram. Your father says you have a good chance at regaining the use of your legs. No one knows how long it's going to take - it could be a year from now or five years from now. Progress depends on time and effort, ok? So just think of this as a temporary situation. But I'm not going to lie to you. Things ARE going to be different from now on. You're going to need a lot of help in the upcoming months - everything from rehab to getting around. Your father, Delia, even Sam, and I want you to know that we will be right there by your side. We're all here to help you so anything you need, even if it's a very tiny thing, you ask. And don't push us away, OK?"  
  
Ephram nodded with quivering lips. "Thanks." He whimpered.  
  
"It's ok if you want to cry sometimes. Crying is a normal, healthy part of life. Nobody's going to see you any differently if you show your sadness. Even a stone-faced man like your father has a weak spot. You would think he never sheds a single tear, but then you didn't see him when you were lying on the hospital bed after your spinal surgery with so many tubes sticking out of you, that you resembled a human pincushion. He was bawling like a baby."  
  
"Yea?" Ephram could never picture his father to be the emotional type. Even at his mother's funeral, he was somber but well composed. He dabbed his eyes with a handkerchief occasionally but he never came right out and bawled in front of everyone. It took Ephram's near death incident to break out all those emotions his father had securely locked up in his heart.  
  
"Yea. He did. So, it's quite alright for you to cry. And don't worry, once you get the hang of everything, it'll be ok. I promise." Nina hugged him again and kissed him on the forehead. "Better?"  
  
Ephram sucked in the thick nasal drip in his nose and wiped the rest of the tears away with his hands. "Yea, I'm ok now." He said.  
  
"Good. Now let's get some food into you." She said and pulled the rolling over the bed table over. She lifted the food-cover and showed Ephram the entrée. He stuck his tongue out in disgust. "It's really not that bad!!" Nina laughed as she started to cut the turkey into bite-size portions with a fork and knife. "Tell you what, if you eat all your meals for the next two days, I'll try to smuggle in some Chef Nina specialties for you. How's that sound?"  
  
"Really?? You can do that?" Ephram's raised his eyebrows.  
  
"I'll see what I can do. Have to check with your father first though." Nina smiled. "Open wide." She then fed a forkful of turkey into Ephram's mouth. "Chew it before you swallow. Your stomach doesn't have teeth, you know." He wasn't used to being spoon-fed, after all, he wasn't a baby and it looked kind of silly. But for a change, being vulnerable and sick wasn't so bad. Besides, Nina didn't seem to mind feeding him his lunch. In fact, she almost enjoyed it a little too much. Ephram's heart felt a spark of joy. He found a mom.  
  
Nina eyed the rectangular window in the door and caught a glimpse of Andy's pleased face. She knew he had been watching the entire time. It was initially Andy's idea to let Nina have a try at getting Ephram to open up. If anyone can be that insistent and persuasive, it was Nina. She not only had she gotten him to release his bottled feelings, she also got him to eat. Andy was impressed and relieved at the same time. He made a mental reminder to take her out to a nice restaurant for dinner once things calmed down. Nina flashed a smile at Andy telling him that everything was looking up now. He returned the smile.  
  
*** Lessons Learned ***  
  
Although Ephram became slightly more talkative in his family's presence thereafter, there were times when he still wallowed in self-pity and grief. Those were usually the moments when he was left alone. His sleeping patterns had become more regular and his appetite started to return. It was thanks to Nina's cooking that made Ephram recover his desire for food. She brought him his meals everyday. A healthy glow eventually developed on his cheeks. Ephram was still not very open to receiving his visitors. It wasn't like people were chartering buses to come see him, but he was self- conscious about people he knew seeing him this way.  
  
He decided to allow Amy to see him. He was most curious on Amy's reaction to this tragedy. But to his disappointment, she always had Colin in tow. Amy and Colin resembled Siamese twins - practically joined at the hip. There was not a single place one went without the other. Not one spare moment left Amy alone with Ephram. Colin was always there right by her side. It was a reality check that she belonged to Colin. Ephram didn't expect anything different. Amy was Amy. She seemed unusually nice but he sensed there was more guilt that prompted her actions than genuine friendship. She'd broken his heart, now she wanted to do right by piecing it back together. Everyone knows you can't glue back a shattered vase and expect it to look like brand new. Even an idiot knows it would never look the same.  
  
Colin was trying so hard to be a friend. He was the expert on reassurance that odds don't matter and all that mumbo-jumbo about acing recovery - always the annoying Colin-optimism - the whole if-I-can-do-it-so-can-you attitude made Ephram sick. It was a total waste for Colin not to vie for the cheerleading squad. Colin's pep talks were something else - a natural Richard Simmons - and being in a similar situation a few months ago, made him the likely spokesman for miracles. Ephram didn't know whether to be jealous of the guy or be pals with him. He just let Colin do his preaching. Ephram didn't have the heart to say 'shut-up already!' Especially since he's heard the spiel a gazillion times by his family, the doctors and nurses, even his physical therapist. He nodded politely and kept saying 'yea' - in one ear and out the other. When he grew weary of watching Amy and Colin together, he would yawn and pull the "I'm so tired" routine. That usually got them out of the room in a heartbeat. Neither of them knew how to act in front of a newly disabled person.  
  
Andy and Nina both felt Ephram shouldn't be left alone. Ephram was the most depressed when left in his solitude. There was too much time for him to think melancholy thoughts. This was where Delia came in. Delia often spent the afternoon with her brother. She was the only one that was capable of truly making him laugh. At first, Ephram was just humoring his sister. He didn't want to brush her off like he did Amy and Colin. Delia wanted to be with him. After a while, he had grown to enjoy the company of his new companion.  
  
Ephram laughed harder and joked more. Each afternoon, they would find something to amuse themselves with. He kept his sister entertained with his talking dog shadows he made with his hands against the light. Other times were spent talking, playing video games or board games, and reading books to each other. Ephram made Delia laugh by giving a silly voice to her blue teddy bear - the one she lugs around with her everywhere. Ephram and Delia often took naps together when pure exhaustion took over their bodies. Andy and Nina frequently spied on the twosome to see what they were up to. There was one instance that both adults could recall that touched Andy's heart.  
  
Ephram and Delia were playing a competitive game of UNO on top of the rolling over-the-bed table using Oreo cookies as wagering chips. They sat across each other with Delia's fuzzy blue teddy bear sitting on the end - apparently also participating in the game. Stuck to Ephram's forehead was a black "wild" UNO card. Delia's forehead had the yellow "skip" card. Even the bear had a green "3" card stuck to its forehead. It was a serious game of UNO going on from what Andy and Nina could tell by looking thru the rectangular glass window on the door. And judging from the neat tall stack of Oreo cookies, it looked like the bear was doing all the winning. Everything was going along well. Until Delia said something excruciatingly funny to cause Ephram to burst out laughing so hard that he ended up choking on his own spit. He was coughing so horrendous that his eyes nearly popped out of his head. It wasn't good for him to cough so hard, especially since he was recovering from a pulmonary embolism. Ephram sat bent forward coughing into his left fist while his right arm hugged his chest. Andy was ready to rush into the room to the rescue when Nina held him back and told him to watch what happens.  
  
They watched Delia rush to Ephram's side and rubbed his back in a gentle massaging motion. She mouthed a few inaudible words to her brother and he replied as the coughing lessened. She then went to the end table and poured a glass of water for Ephram. He took a sip and handed the glass back to Delia. He leaned back on his bed to catch his breath. And before long, he was back in the game, laughing and joking with his sister.  
  
Andy shot an astonished glance at Nina. Delia knew exactly what to do. She took care of her brother. Andy shook his head and swore Delia would make a terrific nurse some day. It's only natural that a proud father would think it'd be nice if one of his children followed in his footsteps in the medical profession. Nina had already known Delia was capable of helping. It was she that approached Nina to inquire about what to do if a certain situation should arise with Ephram when no grown up was around. Nina explained to her the emergencies versus the non-emergencies.  
  
Ephram became more energetic as Delia continued to spend her afternoons with her favorite brother. That is, until school began. Delia wanted to quit school until Ephram got out of the hospital, but her father refused at the absurd idea. However, as a compromise, Nina brought Delia to see her brother after recess everyday.  
  
His daily routine was rehab in the mornings for one hour, sponge bath at promptly 10:45 am, lunch with Nina, visit from Delia, visits from Amy and Colin every other day, dinner party with Andy, Nina, Delia and Sam, and through out the day were lingering visits from Nina and Andy. But ever since school had begun, from the moment after lunch until 3 pm were the hardest times of the day to pass - these were the hours he usually spent with Delia. If he wasn't taking a nap, he was listening to his MP3, or practicing his range of movement in his toes and ankles. He had been doing well with rehab. They didn't allow him to do anything too strenuous yet - just a lot of toe wiggling and knee bending with the help of a physical therapist. The effort in moving his legs forced him to literally sweat bullets but nonetheless, he was getting somewhere and his father praised him to the sky. Soon enough he would have to fit learning how to maneuver himself in a wheelchair into his daily routine - a necessary task he dreaded.  
  
One restless afternoon, as he waited for his MP3 player to recharge its batteries, Ephram decided to do a little experiment. He didn't understand why his physical therapist wasn't allowing him to stand or try walking yet. It was very obvious that he had mastered pointing and flexing his feet as well as rotating his ankles. Ephram was feeling a little too brave and confident that day and took a risk on trying to stand up by himself.  
  
'I mean, how hard could it be? Surely I can stand on my own two feet.' Ephram thought. 'I'll surprise my dad.'  
  
A surprise was definitely in stored for Andy alright.  
  
Ephram sat up in his bed. He dug his hands under each leg and swung each leg over the side of his bed slowly one at a time. Who knew a leg could be so heavy. His bare feet dangled about six inches above the shiny tiled floor. He discovered the drawstring pant he had on was a bit too long on him as his toes scantily peeked out of each pant leg.  
  
'OK, it's now or never. It's too late to turn back.' Ephram heroically thought. He knotted his fingers together and crackled his knuckles. He took a couple of quick deep breaths and was ready for his reckless venture. Carefully, he slid off the bed placing each foot on the floor slowly to gain footing.  
  
His feet were firmly planted on the floor much to his surprise. All he had to do to complete his brave attempt was to not lean on the mattress. 'And they said I couldn't walk. Someone's been lying to me.' Ephram thought boldly.  
  
The first step he took was his last. The very second he released his grasp of the mattress, he lost his balance altogether. His legs collapsed under his body. He landed on his stomach with a loud splat as his soft flesh hit against the slippery tiles. He groaned at the soreness resulting from his stomach's impact with the hard floor. He struggled to push himself up and realized he had taken his entire blanket down with him. The blanket was tangled around his body like a snake coiled around its prey. He didn't know if it was harder to unravel from the blanket or trying to lift his upper body. He knew exactly how an overturned turtle felt. His left shoulder was smarting from the fall. Somehow, he figured then that it was a bad idea to get out of bed. 'Fine mess you've gotten yourself into this time, Mr. Genius.' He thought. He couldn't lie on the floor until someone came for him. He thought about yelling for help, only no one would hear him since the walls were sound proof. The button to call for the nurse was miles away. He concentrated in making his legs move but it was useless. How was he going to get back on his bed?  
  
Coincidentally, Andy dropped by to check on Ephram. He opened the door expecting to find his son in bed, but instead, the bed was empty. Andy quickly glanced around the room and to his horror, he found Ephram sprawled across the middle of the floor.  
  
"Ephram!" Andy exclaimed and kneeled down by his son's side.  
  
"Uh, hi dad." Ephram said hoping his father wasn't too angry with him.  
  
"What on earth are you doing on the floor?" Andy said untwining the blanket around Ephram's body and threw it onto the bed.  
  
"I was bored and thought I'd go for a walk." Ephram said sheepishly.  
  
"My God, do you want to give yourself another injury?! You know better than to pull a stunt like that." Andy turned his son over gently.  
  
"Everyone keeps telling me my legs don't work. I just wanted to prove them wrong. I guess they were right." Ephram explained while trying to sit up.  
  
"It's too early to tell, Ephram." Andy replied. "Easy there. Let's get you back into bed first." Andy scooped up Ephram with one robust arm around the armpit and the other under the knees. Ephram was so light that it was easy to pick him up without difficulty.  
  
"I need to walk dad. I've already missed too many days of school. I'll never catch up." He complained.  
  
"Walking takes time and therapy. Remember, Rome wasn't built in one day." He placed Ephram on the mattress gingerly. "Oh, I don't think there will be a lack of homework for you when you get back to school - if that's what you're worried about." Andy teased. "I talked with the principal and he understands the situation. He also sends his regards, by the way." Andy scrutinized his son. "Did you hurt yourself?" He asked after a pause.  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Oh yea? Then why are you rubbing your shoulder?" Andy pointed out. Ephram had been absentmindedly kneading his shoulder for quite some time now.  
  
"Huh? Oh. I dunno. It's nothing." Ephram mumbled taking his hand away from his sore shoulder.  
  
"I better have a look at it." Andy insisted. He pulled the back of Ephram's gown over to examine his son's shoulder. "Hmm, let this be a lesson to you. Don't try to do stupid things without someone here." Andy scolded when he realized it was only a minor bruise.  
  
"Just the men I wanted to see. Wait till you guys taste this. My very own creation, marshmallow choco - " Nina's voice trailed off as she whirled into the room holding a large foil pan of baked goodies. "What's going on?" She questioned seriously when she caught Andy tending to Ephram's shoulder.  
  
"Oh, hey Nina! The boy wonder here thinks he can run before he can walk. He got out of the bed assuming he could walk only to end up falling down on the floor and hurting himself. It was a good thing I was coming to check on him otherwise, who knows how long he would've been lying on the floor." Andy shook his head in disbelief.  
  
"Ephram, what were you thinking?!" Nina gasped. Having nothing to say for himself, Ephram shrugged. "It's all red!" Nina observed the red blotch developing on Ephram's shoulder.  
  
"It's not that bad. I bruise easily." Ephram said innocently. "What'd you bring?" He switched his attention to the sweet aroma of desserts coming from the foil pan Nina held.  
  
"Marshmallow chocolate chip cookies. Don't change the subject." Nina replied. "Ephram, it's very dangerous what you did. And alone at that. What if you broke a bone or knocked yourself unconscious - then what? This is serious. Walking is not something you should attempt at your whim. You will walk when your physical therapist says you can." Nina lectured.  
  
"Sorry." Ephram muttered under his breath and looked down sadly at his blanket regretting he ever got out of bed in the first place. He didn't mean to cause so much trouble. His father yelling him was one thing, (since he did it all the time - he was used to it) but he definitely couldn't take Nina yelling at him too.  
  
"Forgiven." Nina said after raising Ephram's chin with her index finger. "Just don't do it again, ok?" Her smile gave him the official sign that she wasn't mad at him. Ephram nodded. "Does it hurt?" Nina finally asked.  
  
"No. It's fine, really. Well, kinda sore." He admitted.  
  
"I'll get some ointment for that bruise and some milk to go with those cookies." Andy said pointing to Ephram then to the cookies Nina placed on the table. "Nina, do me a favor and keep Mr. Daredevil out of trouble. No more embarking on mindless adventures while I'm gone."  
  
"I'll keep an eye on him." Nina laughed while fixing Ephram's top. "If he tries anything again, we'll put bed rails up."  
  
Ephram had a lot of things to be thankful for. He was ultimately satisfied that his father and Nina were so fond of him. It was silly to think his father wouldn't be fond of him in the first place. Strange things ran through teenaged boys' minds. They had their doubts about everything, even their own parent's love. Ephram savored each moment of the rest of that day because it's only a matter of time before his introduction to his new best friend - his wheelchair.  
  
* end of chapter 5 *  
  
Author's Note: I know some of you are probably wondering where Amy fits into this story. Please note that my initial intention is to write a story dealing with Ephram/Andy/Nina/Delia. I'm going to leave the romantic Ephram/Amy storylines up to my fellow Everwood fanfic authors to write. However, out of necessity, I'm going to squeeze the Three Musketeers or Three Stooges (whichever you prefer) - namely Amy, Colin, and Bright - into a minuscule scene in my upcoming chapter (6). Thanks for reading!! I love reading all your reviews! They definitely help me keep going!!! Until next chapter. 


	6. No One Understands Me

(Another lengthy chapter! Grab some tissues and let the turmoil begin!)  
  
Chapter 6: No One Understands Me  
  
He finally released his anguish and frustration by letting out an eardrum- piercing, monstrous shriek that was so thunderously deafening it may as well have resonated through entire Everwood. He looked grimly at the spinning chrome wheel of his overturned wheelchair a few feet from where he helplessly sat. Blinding anger filled up every inch of his body. The tips of his ears redden and he felt steam radiating off the top of his head. Still huffing in his fury, he managed to drag his body over to the nearest structure and prop himself up against the kitchen island. He ended his raging torment by ramming his right fist into the maple wood siding. Ephram was fuming with such explosive anger, like mercury rising, that he failed to register the immediate pain as the bones of his knuckles came into contact with the hard surface. It took him a few seconds to feel the throbbing in his hand.  
  
"Fucking wheelchair!!!!" Ephram hollered wildly at the contraption on the floor as he shook out his hand. He didn't know whether he was madder at himself or at his wheelchair. But one thing was for sure, he just learned it was easier and less painful to direct anger towards a defenseless, material item than at ones self. Glaring at the wheelchair, he wanted to throw it out the window. It stood capsized yet silently mocked him. This only made his blood boil faster.  
  
His father made it necessary to purchase the most compact, stylish, and contemporary wheelchair he could find on the market. It was an iGlide model. Apparently, this wheelchair was on the cutting-edge of wheelchair technology. With its black leather back-supporting seat and titanium frame, it made for the lightest, most efficient and versatile wheelchair available. This wasn't your bulky conventional manual wheelchair. This one had features that propelled you further and tackled a variety of tough terrains with a simple push of the handrim. The iGlide had a sensor that calculated the difference between the effort used on the handrim and the force needed to propel the chair over a certain terrain, like grass or carpet. Hence, with one push, the system automatically adjusts to the surface changes with the same effort. Andy was more enthusiastic about introducing this device than Ephram was at receiving it. Andy personally demonstrated the unique characteristics of the chair and even tested it out himself before handing it over to Ephram. Of all the splendid features Andy described, Ephram was unimpressed and disinterested. He knew his father was only trying to be supportive and show his sensitivity to this wheelchair stuff. Somehow, Ephram didn't think a cool state-of-the-art wheelchair was going to help his situation. The only thing that could make him feel 100% better was to walk again.  
  
In his self-pity and despair, he knotted his fists, dug them into his watery eyes and sobbed. He felt completely miserable - like there was not a soul in the world who would understand his grief and lament. His right knuckles started to pulsate and swell but he ignored the pain. Ever since the release from the hospital, everyone treated him differently. Once the news spread about his horrible suffering, everyone wanted to help and be his friend. Adjusting to his newfound fame was something he had trouble adapting to. He was no longer the boy in the shadows - the outcast. On the contrary, most people automatically accepted him. Disappearing into the woodwork became a thing of the past. Negative popularity was all he had ever known since his family moved to Everwood. He was not used to the sudden celebrity status nor was he ready for any sort of kindness from these people. Rejection and denial was Ephram's only familiar territory. That dark rain cloud looming over his head was something he dealt with everyday. Being eyed with disgust and picked on at school was normality. He was used to it. They all judged his character without a fair trial. No one cared who he was and he liked it that way. He was the outsider - always have been and always will be. He can never mutate into "one of them."  
  
Surely, there were still those who pointed and whispered curiously behind his back. Ephram imagined with scorn what they said about him. 'There goes the new kid in his wheelchair.' 'Must be awful waking up everyday and realize you can't even walk to the bathroom.' 'Have you ever seen a more wretched sight than watching him wheel around like that?' Nobody ever knew him by name. Everyone referred to him as "The stuck-up kid from New York" or "The city freak." It became even worse with the wheelchair, which made him look even more pathetic. Not only did strangers started calling him by name now, they talked to him and wanted to know how he was doing. He loathed the attention. Deep down inside, he knew they were just trying to score some good deed points to earn them a spot in heaven. There were a lot of guilty consciences in this small town. 'Be nice to the kid in the wheelchair' and 'Cut the handicapped kid some slack' became Everwood rules - at least Ephram felt that way. He didn't want anyone to feel like they owed him something.  
  
No one knew the intense pain and sorrow that curtained his mind. They all seemed like they cared but he was just a heavy burden that everyone had to put up with because he wasn't capable of doing things himself. The big salty droplets of tears streamed down his eyes and he wailed harder thinking this very thought. How did it come to this deep melancholy moment when he doubted being understood by those around him? What sharp object punctured his heart so deeply to make it bleed at such a rapid pace? What caused his spirit to break and every last ounce of hope gone?  
  
*** What Happened At Shimmy's ***  
  
Ephram needed to be with friends. Andy decided his son needed to be around people his age again. At first, Ephram was reluctant to give society a try but Andy and Nina talked him into it. They thought it would be good for the boy to get out more and get used to traveling in his wheelchair. Ephram agreed to have lunch with Amy and Colin at Shimmy's, which was Everwood's poor excuse for a burger joint. Shimmy's was one part teenage hangout and one part lounge - both separated by a wooden beaded corridor. It was loud and almost always swarming with unruly teenagers - especially after school hours on weekdays. It definitely wasn't the quality of the greasy food that lured the kids in - it was the mini arcade in the rear. The food was neither amazingly great nor terribly bad. The teen crowd didn't seem to complain - but then again, they've obviously never had a burger from Big Nick's Burger Joint on the upper west side.  
  
Ephram arrived early and patiently waited for his lunch buddies. Andy had dropped him off at the restaurant. He felt a bit uneasy leaving his son alone but he figured he had to give the kid space to grow. Besides, Ephram seemed ok about seeing his two friends.  
  
Promptly at 12 noon, Amy and Colin sashayed fashionably through the front doors - he in his red and yellow letterman jacket and she in a dainty pale blue V-neck knit sweater. They appeared perfect for each other. It was kind of like in those chick flicks where the popular and beautiful cheerleader dated the school's top jock captain of the football team. And to think Ephram had half a chance with a girl like that. Look at whom he was up against. Colin was everything Ephram was not. He was tall, handsome, hefty, sports driven, everyone loved him, and had a pretty girl in his arms.  
  
They easily spotted Ephram at a table by the window. With the wheelchair, it was hard not to spot Ephram from a crowded room. Colin nodded amiably to some friends as the twosome made their way to Ephram's table. Colin and Amy exchanged greetings with Ephram and took their seats. It was awkward just having them stare at him with a thousand questions beaming in their eyes but didn't ask because they were afraid to. Ephram was never good at striking up conversations. He was the reticent one. But once the floor opened up for discussions, they talked casually about the weather, new movies they saw and wanted to see, the latest cool video game, and school gossip. For a split second, Ephram thought things were taking a step forward - until a lost for words shifted the subject matter onto Ephram. Colin finally asked about how rehab was going. Amy kicked Colin in the shin under the table so hard he yelped in pain and shot a what-did-you-do-that- for look at Amy. She gave Colin a mean pout that told him it was an inappropriate question to ask.  
  
Amy and Colin were told to treat Ephram like how they would normally treat him. It was complicated enough for the boy to adjust to his new surroundings. He didn't need people reminding him that he's different. But it was easier said than done. The wheelchair was like a big neon sign that blinked "Look at me. Look at me." It was hard not to stare and think how his entire life changed because of one unfortunate incident. It was hard to not feel sympathy and sorrow for him. And it was hard not to wonder what he was thinking and how this affected his frame of mind. They wanted to help - maybe a little too much.  
  
"Let's look at the menu." Amy changed the subject before Ephram could answer Colin's question regarding rehab. She grabbed a plastic covered menu from the salt and pepper caddy on their table. "What looks good Ephram?" She added while browsing through it.  
  
Ephram didn't know why she was asking him that question. It's not like they've never eaten at this place before. Everyone knows the menu backwards and forwards. Who needs to look at a menu? Ephram watched Amy biting her glossy lip as she thoroughly read the menu like it was the first time she'd ever seen it. At this point, Colin also followed Amy's lead in burying his head into a menu.  
  
"Um, a cheeseburger?" Ephram replied wisely without budging. "It's a burger joint remember?"  
  
"Right. A cheeseburger it is then. Sounds good, I think I'll have one too." Colin agreed. "Grover?" He turned to Amy.  
  
"Yea, what a great choice! Count me in." Amy marveled like Ephram's just picked a grade A sirloin steak.  
  
'This is too weird. Do they think this is a five star restaurant?' Ephram thought.  
  
"To drink, I would like to try a sparkling brown Coke on the rocks with a twist of lemon. I hear 2003 is a very good year. And make it extra bubbly, old chap." Ephram said in his best stuffy English butler accent. But they didn't catch his humor. They only looked at him in confusion.  
  
The waiter came by to take their order. Amy spoke first, then Colin. When it was Ephram's turn to order, Amy did the favor of speaking for him.  
  
"He'll have a cheeseburger and a Coke with lemon." Amy said staring at the waiter. The waiter scribbled their order on his note pad and asked if they would like fries with their meal. Amy and Colin answered for themselves. Ephram was about to say yes to the waiter when Amy spoke for him again. "Yes, Ephram will have fries as well."  
  
While waiting for their food, they took turns trying to consistently pelt a medley of trivial questions at Ephram. 'Has he heard the hot new Eminem song?' 'Did he see the outrageous outfit Christina Aguilera wore to the Teen Choice Awards on TV - like, what was she thinking?' 'When was the last time he tasted a really good slice of pizza?' 'How was Delia?' 'Did he hear about the Broncos making it to the playoffs and may actually have a good shot at winning the super bowl (not bad for a Denver-based team)?' 'Has he got the latest chapter of Sixgun yet and if so, what was it about?'  
  
Sixgun??? And since when were either of them into hypercomics?! Did they even know the meaning of a hypercomic??? Ephram doubted their knowledge of the obscure term but he was polite and gave them a spiel about the latest chapter. It was so obvious they were desperate to make conversation with him to keep their minds off the fact that Ephram was confined to a wheelchair. To Ephram, their questions and subject matters seemed too well rehearsed and filtered - like they had gone over the do's and don'ts of what to say ahead of time. Ephram was disappointed that none of the questions they projected were about his current condition or about his legs. It would've been nice to get that all out in the open so it didn't have to be so awkward. Amy and Colin thought avoiding the subject helped the situation but on the contrary, it made things worse for young Ephram. When the tough stuff happens, you can't act like an ostrich and stick your head in the sand and hope all your problems will go away. You have to face the music - so-to-speak. He wished they would just ask him once and for all whatever they wanted, especially since they were dying to know everything anyway.  
  
They ate their food and the talking was lowered to a minimum. "Napkins. I need more napkins." Ephram finally broke the silence. "I'm such a messy eater." He said admiring the melted cheese between his fingers. He was about to hail a nearby waiter when it happened again. Only this time, it was Colin.  
  
"Yo! Waiter!" Colin snapped his fingers to summon the waiter. "Napkins for my friend here please."  
  
Even still, Ephram ignored the emotionally choking services his two friends had unnecessarily provided him. Perhaps they were just overprotective. The remainder of the meal was eaten in silence with the occasional praising of the crispiness of the fries or the thirst quenching abilities of their cold drinks.  
  
Just when things couldn't get more interesting, Bright wandered into the restaurant sporting his letterman jacket with pride. The jacket gave him a big ego. He even had that little sway in his walk kind of like the way John Travolta had in "Grease." Spotting Colin out of the crowded room, he approached the table. Bright grabbed a chair, spun it around and sat on it backwards. Seated between Ephram and Colin, he rested his elbows on the back of his chair.  
  
"Hey kids." Bright greeted his friends. He then eyed Ephram and nodded in his direction. "Awesome wheels. Very cool." He complimented while checking out Ephram's shiny new wheelchair.  
  
"Bright!" Amy said through clenched teeth. She shot an evil glance at her brother before Ephram could reply.  
  
"What?! It IS a nice set of wheels. Must've cost one pretty penny though, huh squirt?" Bright nudged Ephram with his elbow in a friendly manner. The thing with Bright was that he never called Ephram by name. Ephram always wondered why. Was it because he couldn't pronounce it, or what? He always called him Squirt or Kid or Brown or some other nickname he could conjure up.  
  
"Bright, what's the matter with you?!" Amy gasped at her brother's outburst. Ephram found it amusing to watch Amy's face redden with anger.  
  
"I say something wrong?" Bright questioned candidly. He had a habit of thinking aloud. He looked uncomfortably around the table at the appalled faces of his sister and best friend.  
  
'Geez, why is the wheelchair thing such a touchy subject?!' Ephram wondered.  
  
"So - Kid. Um -" Bright searched for words. He finally thought of something  
  
meaningful to ask, or at least so he thought. "You still play the piano?"  
  
"Sort of. I realized I can't play the pieces too well because I can't use the foot pedals. It's a leg problem." Ephram said.  
  
"Bright!!" Amy warned.  
  
"Oh! I forgot about those foot pedals! Tsk, sorry. Must be tough. I know how you feel. Playing basketball means the world to me and if one day I loose that ability, I don't know what I would do." Bright continued ignoring Amy.  
  
"Bright, will you shut up?" Amy yelled.  
  
"Hey, I'm just trying to make conversation." Bright shrugged.  
  
"I'm sorry for dumbo's behavior. I don't know what got into him." Amy apologized to Ephram for Bright's actions. "He always puts his foot in his mouth." She immediately flushed a deep shade of pink upon realizing what she just said. "Uh, I didn't mean to say that. What I meant was -"  
  
"It's ok. No pun intended." Ephram cut in. He was getting tired of everyone pretending like the wheelchair was invisible when it was the only thing that they thought about.  
  
"No, really, I'm sorry." Amy insisted as she craved for his forgiveness. She looked like she was going to burst into tears.  
  
"I said it's ok. Don't worry about it." Ephram pardoned. He wished she wouldn't act so strange.  
  
"So, what do you guys want to do after lunch?" Colin asked.  
  
"There's this place a few miles from Englewood called The Ramp. It's an outdoor skateboarding arena and there's a competition going on today. I thought it'd be fun to watch'em do tricks on their skateboards. It's about a 20 minute drive. We can all fit into my pickup. Colin can always ride in the back." Bright offered.  
  
"Sounds cool but I don't know if that's such a great idea. Ephram's a little shaky when it comes to other people driving." Colin hinted regarding Ephram's emotional state.  
  
"Fine. Since you're always so full of great ideas, why don't you enlighten me." Bright retorted.  
  
"Um, I dunno - we could go to the park?" Colin scratched his head.  
  
"Yea, and do what there? Shoot hoops while the kid watches us bored out of his skull?!" Bright replied.  
  
"Hey, the mall's always fun and within walking distance." Amy suggested while playing with the straw in her glass.  
  
"Again?!" Colin and Bright said in unison.  
  
"We've gone to the mall for the past three days. There's nothing to do there but shop." Bright whined. "Besides, it's a Saturday - you know it's going to be packed."  
  
"If you really think about it, the mall was created for girls, not guys. Unless you're a guy trying to meet girls then that's a different story." Colin rambled.  
  
"OK. Focus here, Colin. You're straying from the subject." Amy said.  
  
"I know!! Let's go to the movies!! The Hulk is playing at the Fiveplex. I've already seen it but I swear Colin, there is a guy in that movie that looks just like you!!!" Bright exclaimed. "I mean, he could be a dead- ringer for your twin! You gotta check it out. What do you say?"  
  
"Hmm. I don't know." Amy replied. "Any other options?"  
  
"The theater IS wheelchair accessible, you know." Bright added.  
  
"Bright - will you cut it out? Don't you think we know that?!" Amy raised her voice. "Think before you open your mouth."  
  
Completely left out of the discussion, Ephram watched the three continue to argue amongst themselves on the perfect hangout for the rest of the afternoon. It was obvious that his ideas didn't matter to them. They never stopped to ask him what he wanted to do. His feelings were hurt once again. He regretted ever agreeing to this lunch date. It was a bad idea from the start. Did he really believe that something good was going to come out of this? Somewhere along the lines of Amy scolding Bright on being more sensitive and Colin's argument on Ephram-friendly movies was the straw that broke the camel's back.  
  
"Stop it!" Ephram finally yelled. "I can't stand this anymore."  
  
"Ephram, we don't mean to upset you." Amy gasped.  
  
"Do you even hear yourselves talk? Hello - I'm right here!!! All of you treat me like I'm invisible. Just because my legs don't work, it doesn't mean I'm brain dead. Did it ever occur to any of you that I could speak for myself? Stop speaking for me and treating me like a fucking retard. I don't need you to baby me like I'm not capable of doing things by myself. It's bad enough people stare at me because I'm like this." Ephram squeezed his knee. His tempered yelling caught a few stares from several people at a nearby table.  
  
"Calm down. We only want what's best for you." Amy replied and reached out to touch Ephram's arm only he pulled it away.  
  
"What's best for me? Or what's best for you? I think I get it. Obviously my opinions don't count. Cause if they did, you would've asked me - unless you're all just too shy to tell me the truth. Are you afraid to be seen with me in public? Maybe I'll embarrass you. Is that it? Well, don't worry your pretty heads off because it's not going to happen. The last thing I want to do is ruin your perfect reputations and be seen with a pathetic handicap like me." Ephram lashed. He dug in his pocket and pulled out a handful of dollar bills. Shocked, Amy, Colin, and Bright sat in silence not knowing what to say to their angry friend. Slamming the money on the table, Ephram said, "That should cover my share of the lunch."  
  
"Ephram - where are you going?" Amy called while watching an infuriated Ephram grab the handrim of his wheelchair in attempt to maneuver around the obstacle of chairs that were in his way.  
  
"Come back here Ephram. It's not what you think. You don't embarrass us. We just want to help you. Maybe we care a little too much and it can be smothering. We're sorry." Colin said.  
  
"Don't apologize. I don't need your charity. Just leave me alone. Who needs you anyway!" Ephram managed to wheel himself out the doors and onto the street. He fought the tears but they always seem to win at the end. Even his tears had power over him.  
  
'Why can't they just treat me like a normal human being and drop the protective act?!' Ephram thought with tears in his eyes.  
  
He cried silently for a few minutes before sobering up to call his father on the cell phone to come pick him up.  
  
*** Going Home ***  
  
The car ride home was quiet and uneventful. Andy thought it peculiar that Ephram wasn't spending the rest of the afternoon with his friends. Andy discretely inquired about it, but Ephram said it was partly because there had been a slight change of plans and that he was tired.  
  
Andy asked him if there was anything he wanted to get off his chest but the prompt answer from the boy was no. Another series of plain "yes", "no", and "nothing much" answers to all of Andy's superficial questions indicated something was indeed bugging his son. At first, he thought it had to do with the irrational fear of riding in motor vehicles but after noticing the far away look in Ephram's eyes, he knew there was something else. He wasn't about to beat it out of him just yet. Andy guessed it had to do with what happened during lunch to make his son retreat into his own world and lock everyone out. Ephram needed cheering up before the sadness grew deeper - Andy knew that much.  
  
Andy suggested they go home and spend the rest of the afternoon watching cable movies - just the two of them. Delia was helping Nina bake cookies at her place so the house would be empty - at least until dinnertime. Ephram's indifferent reply denoted that it was more serious than a mere fall-out with his friends. Andy was determined to find out what was bothering his son.  
  
They had to enter through the back door to escape the hassle of the porch steps. Andy watched Ephram wheel himself into the house. Truth of the matter was he did feel sorry for him - more sorry than anyone could've felt. His heart sank deeper each time he saw his son in that wheelchair struggling to maneuver to and fro. It was so hard to get used to. Andy wanted to cry.  
  
After throwing his keys in the key tray by the door and hanging his jacket up on the coat knob, he headed for the kitchen.  
  
"Hmmm. There has to be popcorn around here somewhere. I think I remember buying some - or maybe that was last month." Andy hunted through the kitchen cabinets for microwave popcorn. "Wow, these cabinets have never looked so empty. I think we need to re-stock them soon." Andy said rubbing his beard as if he stumbled upon an unsolvable problem.  
  
"Ya think?" Ephram replied noting the bare shelves of the cabinet.  
  
"Aha! Nina usually has a pantry filled with food. I'll go borrow some snacks from her. I don't think she'll mind." Andy spoke cheerfully as he walked across the room towards the front door. "Look, why don't you check out the TV Guide and see what movies are on? I'll be right back." Andy added and exited.  
  
Ephram tried to remember the exact location of the TV Guide. He glanced at the coffee table in the living room, the couch, and even the end tables next to the television set. It was nowhere in sight. Finally, he spotted it on the center of the kitchen island. He wheeled himself over and tried to reach for the booklet. It was most difficult trying to grab onto the edge of the TV Guide when seated in a wheelchair. The kitchen island had always been uncommonly tall. Delia still needed a stepping stool to reach anything on that table.  
  
Unsatisfied, he was determined to retrieve the TV Guide by himself. He tried stretching his hand further to reach for it but it didn't work. Barely able to touch the binding, he looked around for an object he could use to poke the book closer to him but there was nothing. Finally, he decided to give the old legs a try.  
  
He lifted his legs off the footrests of his wheelchair and planted his feet on the floor. Grabbing the edge of the swirled gray marble counter of the kitchen island, he hoisted himself carefully from the chair. He pulled his torso onto the counter and shifted the weight off his legs. Obtaining the booklet ultimately marked victory for Ephram. He was thrilled he did something on his own for a change. With the TV Guide curled up in his hand, he lowered his torso to get back in his chair. He was almost sure he succeeded until he lost his balance and his hold onto the counter. The TV Guide flew out of his hands and hit the floor with a smack. He tried to grab onto the hand rests of his wheelchair but his weight caused both him and the wheelchair to tip over with a loud crash.  
  
*** On The Floor ***  
  
Ephram sat huddled against the side of the kitchen crying into balled fists. It was hopeless. He couldn't even do a simple thing like get a dumb booklet from the table. Angry with himself and angry at the cruel world around him, he wanted to disappear. Sobbing out of spite and pity, he failed to realize that his father had returned. Andy had an armful of snacks - Ring Dings, bags of pretzels and chips, a container of cheese balls, jars of different salsas, a box of microwave popcorn, and a bag of tortilla chips clenched between his teeth. He kicked the door close with his heel.  
  
The first thing Andy saw was the overturned wheelchair. The second thing he noticed was Ephram sitting on the floor bawling hysterically. He immediately dropped everything he was holding onto the couch. Andy raced over to where his son sat crying.  
  
"Ephram? What happened? Are you hurt?" He asked wondering how could Ephram fall out of his wheelchair. Ephram kept his fists in his eyes as his cheeks became wetter. "Ephram! What happened to your hand!!" Andy exclaimed noticing signs of swelling and discoloration on the knuckles of Ephram's right hand. He did not get an answer from his son.  
  
"Oh my God, did you do this to yourself?" Andy finally concluded after seeing a small, splinted dent on the side of the kitchen island a few inches from where Ephram sat.  
  
Ephram shook his head slowly and continued sobbing into his fists. "Why did you hurt yourself?" Andy asked softly. He tightly bottled up his raging concern and fear. A heart-wrenching sniffle enough to break a parent's heart escaped Ephram's lips as he sucked in the drippy mucus in his nostrils.  
  
"Ephram, baby, tell me what's wrong." Andy coaxed. "Tell me what made you so sad."  
  
Ephram removed his fists from his eyes. He peered at his father with new tears on the brink of spilling over. Ephram closed his eyes as those tears poured steadily down his cheeks. It was not his intention to break down and cry like an infant in front of the one man whose face was so sturdy and etched in stone that it would take an Armageddon to get him to show any signs of weakness. Ephram knew being a doctor made his father stern and immune to sadness and fear. If anyone has seen it all, it was his father. Andy has been exposed to patient deaths, fatalities, deterioration, life long diseases and other morbid conditions. This had made him strong in spirit and hard in emotion.  
  
"No one understands. They all stare at me and treat me like I'm some kind of helpless freak idiot. It was bad before but it's even worse now."  
  
"Did something happen during lunch?" Andy speculated. Ephram shrugged. "They don't think you're a freak. It just takes time for it all to sink into their heads what you've been through and what you're going through. It's hard for them as it is hard for you." Andy continued and watched his son burst into tears again.  
  
"I'm sorry." Ephram mumbled and hung his head down. He shook his head and covered his eyes with the palms of his hands. "I can't live like this!!" He hollered with a shaky voice.  
  
"I know it's hard but I'm here to help." Andy said.  
  
"Don't you get it?!" Ephram cried. "I will never be able to walk again. I will never walk up a flight of stairs, or walk around the block, or ride my bike to school, or go swim in the lake, or run in the park, or even dance at parties. I can never lead a normal life."  
  
"Now Ephram. You don't know that. Someday, you will be able to do all those things again. You need to believe in yourself."  
  
"It's far too late for that. I've already lost all hope. I'm so empty inside. I can't go on like this - being a nuisance and an inconvenience to everyone around me." Ephram murmured tearfully.  
  
"What?! How could you even think that?!" Andy was shocked at his son's words. "Ephram, you are my son. You pose no inconvenience to me at all. I'm right here by you no matter what."  
  
"Dad, this is not something temporary that'll blow over in a week. I have to rely on you everyday just to function. I can't dress myself without you helping me. I need you to help me transfer myself out of and into my wheelchair everyday. Getting out of bed is always a big challenge. Every time I need to use the bathroom, I need you to help me. I can't even take a bath on my own. You have to constantly carry me up and down the stairs. You have to drive me everywhere because I'm too chicken to ride in anyone else's car. Look, I can't even get the friggin' TV Guide off the table. This is how useless and worthless I am. How much longer can you put up with this? Are you willing to sacrifice your freedom and your job for me?" He blubbered.  
  
"I can't believe what I'm hearing. Don't ever think of yourself as useless or worthless because you're not!! You and Delia are my most valuable possessions. And why are you so worried about my way of life and career? My life means nothing without you and Delia in it. My family is my first priority, not my career. You should know that I would sacrifice everything I have, including my life in a blink of an eye for you and Delia." Andy's heart was chipping away and a tiny lump in his throat was forming.  
  
"No dad, you shouldn't have to stop living because of me. Maybe things are better off if - if - if I wasn't here." Ephram bit his lip as hot tears dripped off his chin and trickled on his jeans.  
  
"NO Ephram. I forbid you to talk that way." Andy reached for Ephram's arm but he pulled away refusing to be touched.  
  
"I've never told you, dad. But when I was pinned under that hunk of metal waiting for someone to rescue me, I prayed to God. Do you want to know what I asked of Him?" Ephram blurted as a hiccup cause from sobbing made his scrawny shoulders convulse. "I was in so much pain, I asked Him to let me die."  
  
"But he didn't. You didn't die, Ephram!" Andy pressed with agitation. "He didn't give up. You didn't give up."  
  
"If I had known I'd end up like this, I would rather have died that night." Ephram bellowed.  
  
"No, you don't mean that!! How could you wish that on yourself?" Andy gasped in horror.  
  
"My body doesn't hurt anymore but my mind still does. If I had died, I would've been free from all pain. Especially the pain I feel now. I should've given up and let go."  
  
"Surely, you didn't let go because something prevented you." Andy's heart crumbled and felt the tears welling behind his eyes.  
  
"Yea. It was you." Ephram wailed. "It was YOU. Something inside told me I couldn't let you go!!! Not so soon. I've lost you once in my life already and just when I'm so close to getting you back, I couldn't lose you again."  
  
"Ephram." Andy breathed.  
  
"But now - I don't know if life is worth living anymore. At least not this way."  
  
"Let me tell you something. You have no idea how scared I was the night of the accident. I really had myself convinced that I lost you when I saw the horrible twisted heap of metal at the bottom of that ridge. I thought to myself - no one could've possibly survived that fall. And when they told me you were alive, you don't know how relieved and happy I was. I almost kissed everyone that came across my path. See, I didn't care about anything else, you were alive and that was the only thing that mattered. I vowed to myself that whatever problems came next we would deal with it together. The main thing was that you pulled through. I love you Ephram. And I will love you no matter what condition you're in. I have a lot to be grateful and thankful for because you're alive. I don't care if you're wheelchair bound for the rest of your life. I am going to help you everyday in any way I can whether you want it or not. You're stuck with me." Andy spoke with glassy eyes.  
  
So full of emotion, Andy pulled Ephram into a tight bear hug. Ephram tried to push away but ended up falling helplessly into his father's warm embrace. Ephram accepted the kisses Andy placed on his son's cheek and forehead. He didn't mind Andy's coarse bearded stubble scratching against his tender skin. He needed so much to be loved by his father that the kisses were comforting.  
  
"Oh dad, I just want the hurting to stop." Ephram sobbed wildly. The tears rippled down his chalky face and onto his father's shoulder. His body shook with each weeping heave.  
  
"I know it hurts, baby. I really do. I would do anything to make your pain go away. Anything. Just tell me what to do sometimes. Even parents need guiding. You're never alone, baby. You've got me, Delia and Nina. We need you." Andy cried and cradled his precious baby in his arms.  
  
"I love you dad. I love you." Ephram swallowed.  
  
"I love you so much, son. Don't ever leave me. OK? Promise me that." Andy bawled. All his tears came forth with a vengeance - like a vicious shower of thunderstorms sweeping across the land. There was no stopping or slowing his emotions. The concrete barriers of weakness he hid so well from his son came crashing down in an instant. He was as naked as a newborn baby. It felt so good to finally let out all the heartbreak and sorrow he felt for his son.  
  
"Promise." Ephram's voice muffled through his father's shirt. He felt his father sobbing uncontrollably. "Dad? You're crying!" Ephram said wide-eyed. Shocked, he pulled away to witness this rare moment. It wasn't that he didn't believe Nina when she told him his father had cried an ocean at the hospital after the accident. He had never actually "seen" his father sob before. "But, you're not supposed to cry." Ephram sniffled.  
  
"Well, what do you know? I'm human after all." Andy wiped his tears with his sleeve. He cupped his hand gently on Ephram's delicate cheek. Andy took a good hard look into Ephram's greenish-gray eyes and noted they were swollen and masked with bloodshot from the crying. Ephram's thin lips trembled and chin quivered as two crystal clear droplets of tears slid onto Andy's fingertips. "Oh Ephram, what can I do to make you happy again?"  
  
"Dad - " Another hiccup shook his frail body. "Just hold me!! Hold me!!"  
  
Andy wrapped his strong burly arms around Ephram's small frame. They both sat there on the middle of the floor bawling into each other's arms for as long as they needed or until they cried their eyes dry.  
  
"You ok now?" Andy said after noticing Ephram calming down. "Better?"  
  
"Yea. You?" Ephram wiped his nose with his sleeves.  
  
"I'm good too. How about we do something about that now?" Andy nodded to the puffy red bulge developing on Ephram's right hand. "Doesn't look broken. It's badly bruised though." Andy declared after studying Ephram's knuckles. "Let's put some ice on it to get the swelling down."  
  
Andy carried Ephram to the couch and fixed the wheelchair. He handed the TV Guide to the boy, told him to see what's good and headed to the kitchen. Ephram watched his father busy cracking ice from the ice tray and putting the cubes into a towel. He was sorry for putting his father through his pain. This treacherous pain Ephram felt appeared to fade for the moment. But there were so many days ahead that this insidious pain might somehow return to haunt the boy when he least expected it.  
  
* end of chapter 6 *  
  
Author's Note: There's more where this came from!! Stay tuned & Thanks for reading!! 


	7. On Thin Ice: Self Destruction

(It'll get worse -- )  
  
Chapter 7: On Thin Ice: Self-Destruction  
  
"Lucy, I'm home!" Andy exclaimed loudly doing a terrible rendition of a Ricky Ricardo imitation as he came through the front door of his house. Always trying to be funny, Andy couldn't resist it when he opened the door to find Nina's silhouette sitting on the couch watching TV in the semi- darkened room. The volume had been minimized and the soft flicker of the images gave the room specks of light.  
  
"Shhhh!" Nina hushed as she cocked her head and pointed to the bundle of blanket nestled under her arm. "He's sleeping." She whispered. "Close the door. You're letting the cold air in." She fussed. Andy obeyed and shut the door softly.  
  
Venturing forward, he saw a sleeping Ephram snuggled up next to Nina wrapped in a large quilted blanket. The enormous blanket protected and enveloped the boy's small frame. Except for a few strands of disheveled hair sticking out of the end of the puffy comforter, his head was barely visible. The tips of the cozy blanket rolled onto the rug pass his feet. Ephram's left arm draped loosely over Nina's waist and his right temple rested comfortably against her collarbone. His cheek had a tint of blush stemming from the warmth of the blanket. Not stirring once, Ephram looked completely relaxed and deep in sleep.  
  
"Aw!! How sweet." Andy commented on Ephram's angelic demeanor. He took his coat off and tossed it on the recliner. "Where are the munchkins?"  
  
"They're in Delia's room. Delia's finishing up her homework and Sam's quietly playing with Delia's Lego set."  
  
"What're you watching?" He nodded to the television.  
  
"Oh, it's Ricki Lake. Today's subject is Women With Boyfriends Who Have Kinky Obsessive Compulsive Sexual Desires." Nina replied.  
  
"How interesting." Andy murmured ironically. "I can't believe Ephram fell asleep during this."  
  
"He's had a long and debilitating day. I wouldn't be surprised if he slept through a symphony of chain saws and jackhammers." Nina still held Ephram protectively in her arm. "Marla came this morning and they went through a vigorous recovery workout trying to rehabilitate those muscles in his legs and joints."  
  
"Bravest kid I know." Andy admired as he watched the boy.  
  
"Yea, he's my hero." Nina agreed. "You're home early. I didn't expect you back for another hour." She turned her attention to Andy.  
  
"I know. Ephram's been on my mind a lot lately and it's starting to affect my work. Today, I almost prescribed Mrs. Farthing Hytrin instead of Glucosamine Sulfate for her Osteoarthritis. Hytrin is Prostate medication." Andy explained. Nina chuckled lightly at Andy's absentmindedness. "Sure, it may be funny now but it was a good thing I caught the error when I did. I thought I could handle myself going back to work even if it was only twice a week, but I'm just fooling myself. I constantly worry about Ephram. I mean, don't get me wrong, I do trust you looking after my kids. But I wish I could be here for him all the time. Of course, Edna saw right through me and sent me home."  
  
"Hey, are you hungry? There's some chocolate chip cookies left from snack time. I'll make us some coffee." She suggested while clicking the television off with the remote. There was something crucial she needed to inform Andy.  
  
"Sounds good." Andy replied. "How long has he been asleep?"  
  
"About half hour or so." Nina said as she removed Ephram's arm from her waist and gently set his upper body onto the couch. He stirred when Nina laid his head onto a cushion.  
  
"Momma." Ephram incoherently grumbled in his exhausted sleep.  
  
"Just getting you more comfortable honey." Nina whispered. Without opening his eyes, Ephram dug his face into the soft cushion and sighed tiredly before falling back into his restful sleep. "He's so precious." Nina said to Andy.  
  
Andy swung Ephram's legs up onto the couch slowly and recovered the quilt over his son's body. He pulled the end of the blanket to Ephram's shoulder and stared at his son for a minute. Thinking how perfect he looked, Andy couldn't resist a touch. He reached out a hand and tenderly stroked his son's hair. His hair was silky smooth and cleansed of gel. Andy shook his head at the thought of how someone so innocent and beautiful could endure such unsparing tribulations. With the utmost care not to wake him, Andy placed a butterfly kiss on the crown of Ephram's head.  
  
"Mmm, he smells clean." Andy noticed as he caught a faint fragrance of soap from Ephram's skin.  
  
"He was sticky with sweat from all the movement during rehab this morning. So after having lunch and cooling off, he took a nice hot bath." Nina recalled as she walked to the kitchen with Andy trailing not far behind. "Andy, your son is too cute and funny. Well, you know how he needs help taking a bath, right? I ran a tub of warm water and things were going fine until I was about to help him take off his sweat pants. He said the funniest thing. He said - 'OK, I can take it from here.' Like he was so sure of himself." Nina mimicked Ephram's voice and laughed wholeheartedly. "I'm thinking - 'take what from where?!' Who was he kidding? It's not like he can just get up and hop into the tub by himself you know. He stared me down and waited for me to leave the bathroom. Of course, I refused to let him do a somersault into the tub and bust his head open. He was bashful about me seeing him naked. So I said - 'Oh, for Heaven's sake, I won't look.' It's not like I'd never seen the male anatomy before. I'm a mother for cryin' out loud. But, I don't blame him for being self-conscious about these things - kids his age generally are. Finally, I convinced him to let me help him into the tub." Nina poured steaming coffee into two mugs as Andy took a seat at the dining room table.  
  
"Can wait to hear this one." Andy beamed. "I know Ephram can be difficult sometimes."  
  
"It's only the perfect solution. And surprisingly enough, he trusted me. I told him to put a towel across his mid section - this way I can lower him into the tub without accidentally seeing something I shouldn't see." Nina explained. "And did the same when he was ready to be lifted out of the tub. It works."  
  
"Ah, clever woman!" Andy applauded.  
  
"After his bath, he joined me in front of the TV. He cuddled under my arm and fell asleep almost instantly. I guess that bath really did him some good." Nina said and took a sip of her coffee. 'How am I going to break the news to him?' She thought.  
  
"How did he do with physical therapy today? I know this house call thing is still very new to him and was wondering how he's adjusting to it." Andy asked.  
  
"Marla has him doing toe and ankle flexes. Then she goes thru a series of different assisted exercises to get the flexibility back into his joints. She says he's making progress." Nina began on a light note. "Ephram's managing, I guess."  
  
"And?" He smiled. "There's gotta be more news to it than that. Especially when it involves the boy wonder. He's very dramatic, you know." He winked.  
  
"Truth is, I'm worried about him. He seems, I don't know, to be pushing himself too hard." Nina spoke with growing concern. "For instance, when Marla tells him to take a break, he says he's not tired even though its apparent that he is. At the end of the session, he begged her to do the routine one more time before calling it a day."  
  
"Really?" Andy questioned. He listened with perturbed interest.  
  
"Now, I praise his determination and drive but it's not good for him to over exert himself. During one particular exercise, Marla decided to do an experiment to determine his degree of flexibility. She had him sit up on the chair and instructed him to try extending his knee and calf out. But the attempt was too premature and ultimately unsuccessful. No matter how hard he tried, he was only able to lift his leg slightly. After seeing him struggle with all his might to straighten his leg, Marla told him to call it quits and try again tomorrow. But he insisted he could do it. Clenching his jaw, he continued to force himself to straighten his leg. By then, he was out of breath and dripping with sweat. The muscles in his leg was shaking so fierce, we had to make him stop." Nina explained. "He looked at me with such despair in his eyes from his failure that I had to take him into my arms and hold him for the longest time. I thought he was going to cry, but he didn't. He didn't say a word. To be ambitious is one thing, but to wreck havoc on his body like that - it's dangerous."  
  
"Boy is he going to get a lecture tonight." He took put his lips on the rim of his coffee mug.  
  
"Be gentle though and don't yell at him, please Andy. I know how your tone of voice can appear strict and unfeeling sometimes when you don't mean to be. He's vulnerable. Very much so." Nina bit her lip. This was leading into the big horrible news.  
  
"Yea, I don't think I can be mad at him anymore. Just looking into those glassy eyes of his takes a bite out of my heart these days."  
  
Nina nodded and tapped her fingertips on the side of her warm coffee mug. She stared nervously at the white swirl of milk in her coffee. It was something vital and so important she needed to tell Andy but she didn't know how to begin or if she should nix telling him at all. She cursed herself for being there at that particular moment to witness it. If she had only come into the room a few minutes later, she would've missed the entire ordeal and she wouldn't have the dilemma of her emotional strings tightening around her heart. Full of regrets and remorse, she hoped and denied herself all the slight possibilities that what she saw was not real. But deep down, she knew what she saw. If she hadn't seen what she'd seen, the things that could happen in the future could be prevented. It was eerie to think the idea of seeing what Ephram did as a "good" thing. Both alarming and threatening, it couldn't have been a more noticeable warning sign. Catching him in the act wasn't Nina's intention and nothing has ever frightened her so immensely. In the end, she happened to be at the right place at the right time. He heard her voice.  
  
Nina couldn't begin to imagine the thoughts that reeled thru the boy's head as he stared at those sharp scissors. There wasn't a selfish bone in her body - not when it came to Sam or Delia or Ephram - especially Ephram. She hated to be the one to tell Andy but the news had to come out before it's too late. After all, he was the boy's father. He had a right to know when Ephram's life was at stake.  
  
"OK, what's bugging you? It must be big because you always get that curvy wrinkle above your brow when something's really bothering you. I can always tell." Andy said trying to get his friend to talk.  
  
"I don't know. I don't know how to say this." Nina stammered. She desperately tried to avoid eye contact.  
  
"Try me." Andy urged with patience.  
  
"Andy." She said softly. "There's something I think you should know." Her voice grew tense.  
  
"What is it?" Andy pressed anxiously ignoring the enticing sweet aroma of oven warmed chocolate chip cookies in front of him. "Tell me before I die of suspense."  
  
"It's about Ephram."  
  
"Ok, I'm listening."  
  
"At this point, I'm not even sure what I saw was real. I keep thinking maybe I misinterpreted everything." Nina hesitated. She felt the weight of his eyes on her.  
  
"Tell me anyway. Maybe we can laugh about it in the end."  
  
"Oh no, I can assure you that it's definitely no laughing matter." Nina shook her head allowing her soft light brown hair to sway on her shoulders.  
  
"No? This sounds serious." Andy's humorous tone was gone. "He's not sick, is he?"  
  
"No, he's not physically sick - no. It's like this - I could tell from the start that Ephram was upset about his rehab session. So, I made grilled cheese and pickle sandwiches for lunch - his favorite lunch - you know, to lift his spirits. Ephram usually can down at least two or three of them easily. Today, it took him quite an effort to finish just one." Nina began. "He tried not to show his hurt but I felt it. It's kinda hard to explain - woman's intuition I guess. At first, he wouldn't talk, but I kept prying and finally, he opened up a little and we actually ended up talking a long time about his rehab. He was very discouraged and I told him not to give up. I thought things were ok. I thought I had given him hope. Getting all the bottled feelings out should've made him feel better. Then I saw something so scary and unnerving that I'm not sure what to think anymore." Nina's eyes shook. Her voice cracked so bad she had to stop for a breath as Andy hung onto every word.  
  
"I wanted Ephram to feel useful so I asked him to help me clip coupons while I washed the dishes after lunch. And when I was done, I came back into the dining room to help sort the coupons." Nina swallowed. "Only he wasn't busy with clipping coupons like I'd hoped. He sat there in a deep trance concentrating on something. With his back to me, I couldn't see very well so I took a few steps closer to get a better look at what he was doing. Oh Andy, it was horrible!! He held the blades of the scissors open in his left hand and pressed it against his right wrist. He was going to hurt himself." Nina cried.  
  
"I was so petrified, I couldn't move and it felt like everything was swimming in slow motion. I really thought he was going to slit his wrist!! But he didn't. He stared blankly at the blade and held it there for a while. He didn't show any emotion at all. He wasn't crying or fidgety. He didn't even flinch. It was almost as if he was teasing or daring himself." She babbled. "I then found the voice to call out his name. And it must've startled him because he accidentally dropped the scissors onto the floor. I asked him what he was doing. And he said 'nothing' and that he was clipping coupons like I had asked him to when I suddenly called his name and scared him. I told him that was not what I saw. He denied everything and got nervous like as if he got caught with his hands inside the cookie jar." She paused.  
  
"Then what happened?" Andy asked.  
  
"Then Delia and Sam came home from school. Irv dropped them off. Delia saw Ephram and flew into his arms. She was so glad to see him. It was such a heartwarming sight to see her cover her brother with such loving hugs and kisses. Ephram placed Delia on his lap and she clung to him for a while telling him the events of the day. I watched them play together. He pretended he was a New York taxicab with Delia and Sam taking turns being his passengers. He sat them on his lap, joked around and wheeled them to their desired locations. They screamed with laughter. It's plain to see that they loved him very much. Everything after that was happy-go-lucky. I felt like such a bad guy tearing them apart so Delia can get her homework done. I think that was the point where Ephram forgot about the scissors. But I can't forget it." Nina said putting emphasis on the word "I."  
  
"Andy, you don't know how many times I've knocked on the bathroom door when he was taking a bath because I was afraid he might do something. What if he tries this again and there's no one around to catch him the next time? What if neither of us were there to call his name? What'll become of him?? We can't let him do this to himself. We just can't." She was close to tears.  
  
"I knew there were issues but I didn't think he'd go so far. I'm glad you were here. Now you see why I'm afraid to leave him by himself." Andy rubbed his eyes as he let the shock settle in.  
  
"Waitaminute, you know something about this?" Nina gathered. "Has he deliberately hurt himself before?" She gasped in horror as she studied Andy's facial expression. "Oh my God, he has, hasn't he? What'd he do?" She put her delicate fingers to her trembling lips.  
  
"You see that spot over there?" Andy pointed to a small splintered dent at the bottom of the kitchen island. Nina nodded. "He was angry with himself because he fell out of his wheelchair. Next thing he knew, he rammed his fist into the wood. Nothing serious. Just a bruised hand."  
  
"I can't believe you never told me! When did this happen?" A sudden chill swept across her skin and her hair stood on end.  
  
"About 2 weeks ago - after his lunch date with Amy and Colin. We sat right there and cried our eyes out." Andy nodded to the famous area of the floor when he and his son had their bawl session. "The things he said really scared me. He told me about not wanting to live. He thought he would be better off dead than having to live in a wheelchair and inconvenience us 24/7."  
  
"What?! And when were you planning on telling me this?!" Nina was both angry and flabbergasted. Her face turned white.  
  
"I thought he was ok after we poured our hearts out. We talked and made it clear that his way of thinking was wrong. And he promised me he would never do anything to hurt himself again. He promised." Andy stressed.  
  
"And you believed him?" Nina pressured. "He's a fifteen year old boy. You can't believe everything he promises."  
  
"I guess, I just wanted to believe that he would keep his word."  
  
"Oh God, Ephram's suicidal." Nina said in awe. "We have to do something to make him stop!!" Tears filled her eyes. "How could he harm himself?? Doesn't he know that there are people who love him so much?"  
  
"He's going through a tough time. There are so many doubts in my mind. I always wonder if I'm doing the right thing or acting the right way with him - give him too little space and he'll feel smothered, give him too much space and he'll feel lonely. All I know is that I love my son to death. I was so close to losing him and now I have him back - even if he IS in a blasted wheelchair. Nothing else matters - he's here and alive."  
  
"He forgets our love for him too often." Her eyes squeezed out a few teardrops.  
  
"Don't cry, Nina. I know you mean well." Andy grabbed a box of Kleenex tissues from the counter and handed it to Nina. "He loves you. It shows. I mean, he's never allowed himself to fall asleep in just anyone's arms. And he called you momma. That's gotta count for something, even if he was half conscious when he said it." Andy smiled at Nina.  
  
"He's always been sweet to me." Nina dabbed her eyes with the corner of a tissue.  
  
"Well, there you go. It's obvious. He's nuts about you." Andy said.  
  
"I don't know how I'm ever going to trust him to be in a room alone. Things have got to get better than this." She searched for the answers in Andy's eyes.  
  
"And they will. Just takes one day at a time."  
  
"So calm and reserved. That's so you, Doctor Brown. Here I was, thinking you'd be the one to freak out and you end up consoling ME!"  
  
"Calm is hardly the word I would use. My son has thoughts about suicide - that's not something I can take lightly. He breaks my heart more and more each day knowing it. I'll let you in on a secret though. I lie on my bed at night wallowing in tears just thinking of the emotional stress Ephram is drowning in. I'm trying to keep his head above water but it's hard. Some nights I feel so hopeless, there isn't anything I could do except cry." He confessed.  
  
"Oh Andy." Nina fell silent for a moment. "Well, you're not alone." She touched his hand. "We'll make things right with Ephram. We gotta love him more."  
  
"I know." Andy took her hand affectionately and held it in his. His eyes told her that he was very fond of her but he couldn't get himself to say it.  
  
He was pretty much a coward when it came to women and dating. Andy remembered taking three weeks just to get enough courage to ask Julia out for their first date at a Starbucks for coffee during his sophomore year at Princeton. Julia was somewhat of an uptown girl and took a lot of impressing to get her to notice him. Andy finally raised an impressive eye - during a heated debate on Roe v. Wade between him and another student in their Law and Ethics class. All it took was one date over a pricey café latte and he knew she would be the girl he would marry. Surely enough, it happened. And six years later, Ephram was born. However, since Julia's death, he made himself busy with Ephram and Delia and dating took a back seat. He vowed himself never to remarry - that was the case until he moved to Everwood and met Nina. Nina complicated things and threw all his plans out of sync. He was not supposed to have special feelings for any 'other' woman. And here was Nina - a patient, loving, beautiful woman who was not only his friend but also his confidant and his kids' surrogate mother. Her sudden appearance in his life felt right - like she belonged. Andy was afraid of what an intimate relationship might do to that bind of trust. This made him even more confused.  
  
Silence filled the room for a good minute as Andy and Nina gazed into each other's eyes.  
  
"I was going to make Ephram's favorite for dinner tonight - stuffed bell peppers and baked lemon chicken with rosemary." Nina finally said breaking from the awkward moment. "But there's not enough time to prepare everything if I start now." She glanced at the kitchen clock tacked to the wall above the sink. "That poor boy needs to eat healthier and gain some weight. When he took off his shirt for his bath, I swear I could visibly count all the bones of his rib cage. It's kinda frightening."  
  
"Let's just order pizza since it's getting late. But you can make that delicious dinner tomorrow. I'm not letting you off the hook that easily." Andy laughed. "I'm sure Delia and Sam would be thrilled to have pizza for dinner on a Tuesday night."  
  
"Should I wake Ephram and ask him what he wants?"  
  
"Don't bother. Let him sleep. I may be clueless on lots of stuff but I DO know what he likes on his pizza. It's been ham and pineapple since I can remember."  
  
*** After Dinner Mint ***  
  
The soft shuffle of Andy's slippers flapped against the plush carpet as he made his way down the hall to Ephram's room. He'd just finished reading Delia a bedtime story and tucked her safely into bed. A beam of light from a lamp shined thru the opened door as he approached his son's room. He guessed Ephram was probably reading his comics or using his computer. Andy peeked into the boy's room and found he was neither reading nor online. Already seated on the bed, Ephram had his back facing the door and failed to notice his father standing on the threshold with crossed arms watching him. Somehow, Ephram had made his transfer from his wheelchair to the bed successfully. He was wearing his faded oversized long-sleeved black t-shirt with blue and red Spiderman pajama pants. Andy smiled at his son's youth- ism in wearing cartoon pajamas. He was glad Ephram wasn't growing up too fast and that the boy still needed his father. But deep in Andy's heart, he knew Ephram would be his baby boy no matter how old he was. Andy's treasured thoughts were cut short when Ephram began kneading his lower back. The boy grunted and appeared to be in discomfort.  
  
"Ephram." Andy said with concern. Ephram's shoulders shot straight up when he heard his name suddenly called.  
  
"Geez, dad!!" Ephram grabbed his pounding chest. "What is this? Sneak up on Ephram day?! Are you people trying to give me a heart attack today!?" Ephram turned around as far as he could to face his father. "How long have you been standing there?"  
  
"Sorry." Andy apologized sheepishly. "Oh, not long. Is your back sore?" He approached the bed.  
  
"Back muscles tightened up." Ephram replied truthfully.  
  
"Here, let me rub some Bengay on it." Andy grabbed the tube of pain relieving ointment from Ephram's nightstand.  
  
"That stuff makes me smell like peppermint." Ephram complained.  
  
"It's either this or the Tiger Balm. You pick."  
  
"Tiger Balm is too strong. It'll turn me into an Altoid mint for the next two days if I use that. I'll go with the Bengay - thanks. Why do they make ointments smell like mint? Why can't they make it smell like pizza or French fries OR Nina's baked lemon chicken!!" Ephram's eyes widened.  
  
"As long as the creams work, who cares?! Now lie down." Andy instructed. He lifted Ephram's legs onto the bed and helped him lie on his stomach.  
  
"Dad?" Ephram folded his arms under his pillow.  
  
"Yea?" Andy began rolling up the back of Ephram's shirt.  
  
"Is Tiger Balm really made from tigers?"  
  
"No silly!!" Andy laughed. "It's just the brand name."  
  
"Oh. That's good." Ephram sounded relieved and rested his head against the pillow. Andy had another cute Ephram story to add to the collection. No doubt it would be something to share with his colleagues back home.  
  
Andy grimaced at the five-inch narrow pink scar etched into Ephram's pale skin left from the spine surgery. The very sight of the scar made his heart wrench. He proceeded to unscrew the cap from the tube of Bengay. He squeezed the cold ointment onto his hands and warmed it by rubbing his hands together before applying it to Ephram's back. Andy then massaged the cream into Ephram's lower back gently.  
  
"Ahhh. Dad. That feels so good." Ephram mumbled through his pillow. "You have the hands of a masseuse. Oh, oh, that's the spot."  
  
"Here?" Andy rubbed the tender area around the injury site.  
  
"Yea." Ephram moaned. "Ow! Not so hard."  
  
"Sorry." Andy cringed and kneaded Ephram's back softer. "Ephram, I don't want you pushing yourself with rehab like you did today. I know you're trying but you have to take it slow. You can't rush these things. Look what it's doing to you."  
  
"I'm fine, dad. Chill out. It's just a little sore. No big deal."  
  
"It IS a big deal. I'm canceling your rehab session tomorrow so you can rest."  
  
"No!! I'm fine - really!!" Ephram whined. "I need rehab."  
  
"Yes, I know you need it but you're abusing it. You're not supposed to be doing anything strenuous. You could have pulled a muscle."  
  
"But I didn't. Please dad, don't do this to me. It's the only thing I can count on and look forward to. Without it, how am I going to get thru the day?" He begged desperately. "I won't do it again. Please?"  
  
"We'll see how you are in the morning first. If the soreness is gone, we'll keep rehab, if you feel lousy, we'll cancel." Andy said after a while. He hated to hear Ephram beg. Especially now, since Ephram was the pet.  
  
"Aw dad! I'll be good as new. You won't need to cancel."  
  
"On one condition - you listen to Marla. If she tells you to stop, you stop. Is that clear?"  
  
"Yes sir!!"  
  
Andy continued to massage the ointment onto Ephram's back a few minutes. His gaze shifted to the back of Ephram's head. His hairline made a v-shaped point at the nape of his neck. The boy had his eyes closed as he enjoyed the back rub. A day doesn't go by without Andy admiring that zany son of his. He may be a bit rambunctious sometimes, but he's a good kid.  
  
"Ephram?" Andy wasn't sure if Ephram had fallen asleep or if he was just resting his eyes.  
  
"Hmmm?" Ephram sighed and breathed in the clean detergent dried-out-in-the- sun scent of his pillowcase.  
  
"Son, I know about the thing with the scissors today." Andy whispered. Ephram's eyes shot open.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Ephram said innocently.  
  
"You know what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb with me."  
  
"I'm not playing dumb. I really don't know what you mean."  
  
"Ephram." Andy said seriously. "Nina told me all about it."  
  
"Oh yea? What did she say?" Ephram refused to give himself up.  
  
"She said she saw you holding the scissor blade to your wrist. Is this true?"  
  
"Of course not! She asked me to clip coupons and that's what I was doing. She saw everything wrong. She lied." Ephram made the ultimate excuse.  
  
"Why are you lying to me, son? I thought we had an honest relationship going. No more tip-toeing around and doing things behind each other's backs. Things were good and now this." Andy said hoping the guilt trip would work. Silence. "Ephram, talk to me. Tell me what's going on."  
  
"Nothing's going on. I'm telling you - nothing happened." Ephram paused and breathed a sigh.  
  
"I share everything with you - whether I'm happy, sad, or angry - I'd tell you. Why can't you share your feelings with me? What hurt so much that made you want to slit your wrist?" Still rubbing his son's back with the cream, Andy waited for a reply.  
  
"It wasn't like I was really going to slice off my hand. I was thinking about it but I couldn't bring myself to actually doing it." Ephram finally gave in. Andy's heart skipped a beat. "I chickened out."  
  
"Look at me." Andy stopped applying the cream. "Baby, look at me." Ephram hesitated before turning around to face his father. "Why would you even think a horrible thought like that?" Andy questioned.  
  
"Was curious. That's all."  
  
"Ephram, I can tell when you're lying. Now, tell me the real reason." Andy pressed. Ephram adjusted himself on the bed.  
  
"Dad. I'm not in the mood to talk about this."  
  
"Son, you almost hurt yourself. It's too close for comfort. I care too much about you to ignore this."  
  
"Don't teenage kids always think about suicide? It's normal, right?"  
  
"NOT when it's MY kid. I love you Ephram, and I want to help you. Now tell me."  
  
"Fine." He reluctantly mumbled. "I was depressed and angry with myself after rehab because I couldn't straighten out my stupid leg. I can't believe it, I've been in rehab since I got out of the hospital and all I could do are those friggin' toe and ankle wiggles." He blurted. "I thought it was about time I made some real progress. I was determined that today was the day I would be able to get one step closer to getting the use back into my legs. But I failed. I felt like a failure. I thought I was a failure."  
  
"You're not a failure. You are a fighter. And that's what makes you strong."  
  
"Dad. I don't know. I get these weird feelings sometimes. Like when things are really bad, I get so angry with myself and think stupid thoughts. It's like I'm punishing myself or something." Ephram said sadly. "I know what I did today was dumb. I wish I could take it back. And I wish I could tell you it won't ever happen again. But I - I" His voice trailed off.  
  
"Oh Ephram. Did you know that in the passed two weeks, you've made so much progress that you didn't even notice it? You learned to transfer yourself out of your wheelchair, you're able to use the bathroom on your own - with the help of the bars we installed, you've dressed yourself, and you've learned to wheel yourself around the house without crashing into furniture. AND barely three weeks ago, your legs wouldn't budge at all. Now, you can actually move them - even if it's only a little bit. I don't know about you, but I give you credit for that." Andy spoke with authority.  
  
"I guess, I hadn't thought of it that way." Ephram cracked a tiny smile.  
  
"You shouldn't make yourself work on a schedule. You're only human. It takes time to improve your range of movement. Meanwhile, you're getting the hang of that wheelchair." Andy said. "I'm so proud of you Ephram. Me and Delia won't know what to do without you."  
  
"I'm sorry dad." Ephram stared at a fold in his blanket. "I didn't mean to make you worry."  
  
"It's ok. I know. Just do me a favor, the next time you get angry and start thinking awful thoughts, come to me - doesn't matter if I'm here or at work. You call me anytime and I will drop everything and listen to you. You are my first priority. You hear? I don't want anything to happen to you. OK?"  
  
"Gotcha." Ephram's grin broke Andy's heart for the zillionth time.  
  
"You freaked out Nina with that stunt you pulled. You even made her cry."  
  
"I did?" Ephram yawned as drowsiness and exhaustion found their way into the boy's body.  
  
"Yea. I think tomorrow, when she comes over, the first thing you do is give her a great big hug."  
  
"Sure." Ephram stretched and yawned again.  
  
"All comfy now?" Andy tucked his son under the soft blanket.  
  
"Yea. I'm beat. You going to sleep yet?" He muttered.  
  
"I'm gonna hang out here for a while." Andy reached over and placed a gentle kiss on his son's forehead. "Good night son, I love you."  
  
"G'nite dad." Ephram blinked sleepily. "Love you too."  
  
Judging from the short amount of time it took for Ephram to fall asleep, Andy knew how tired the boy was. He sat there for 30 minutes watching him breathe softly before switching off the lamp on the nightstand. Andy headed back to his own room and got into bed. He tossed and turned for a while. It was impossible for Andy to fall asleep after having that intense discussion with Ephram. And to think, the birds and the bees speech was difficult. Try convincing a son who thinks self-inflicted pain and suicide are options that he is wrong. It's not like you can just hide all the sharp objects in the house. Self-destruction and suicide were subjects he never thought he'd find himself discussing with his son. No. Not Doctor Andrew Brown's kid.  
  
Even though it was unlikely that Ephram would harm himself anytime soon, Ephram weighed heavily on his mind no matter how hard he tried to block it out just to get some sleep. Finally, he grabbed his pillow and blanket and headed back to Ephram's room. He quietly made his way to the cushioned loveseat located across from Ephram's bed.  
  
*** Bittersweet Dreams ***  
  
Somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, Ephram stirred in a troubled sleep. The howling autumn wind sporadically rustled what's left of the dried leaves on the tree outside Ephram's window. At times, it sounded like a giant rattlesnake. This spooked Andy in the beginning and wondered how Ephram could stand that noise night after night. But eventually, Andy filtered out the disagreeable sound and fell asleep. Andy stretched out on the loveseat asleep with his blanket wrapped around his body cocoon-style.  
  
A barely audible mumble came from Ephram as he unconsciously pushed the blanket off his hot and sweaty body. "Noooo." He moaned softly as if in pain. His breath became more labored and agonizing. A sob was followed by the throwing of his arms up to shield his head from some imaginary danger.  
  
"Ahhhhhhhh!!" Ephram screamed. With his heart hammering against his chest and perspiration dripping down his cheeks, his body jolted awake and he was released from his nightmare. For a split second, he didn't know where he was because the realness of his dream and darkness of his room played tricks on his mind. He heard a click and the lamp by his bed suddenly switched on. His father magically materialized by his bedside.  
  
"Ephram! Are you alright?" Andy looked down at his son.  
  
"Dad?" Ephram panted with fear. Struggling to sit up, Andy helped lift him up by the armpits.  
  
"It's ok. It was just a bad dream." Andy sat by Ephram and took him into his arms. "Geez, you're sopping wet." Andy said noticing the touch of Ephram's slick and glossy skin. He grabbed a handful of tissues from the tissue box. Ephram's hair was matted to his forehead in damp clumps and his shirt adhered loyally to his back. Andy wiped some of the sweat off with the tissues. Ephram clung to his father's waist unable to make the shakes and shivers go away. He closed his eyes as tiny droplets of tears slid quietly down his cheeks.  
  
"You're trembling like a leaf!" Andy felt Ephram's body racking with convulses.  
  
"It'll pass. T-takes a minute." Ephram croaked and quickly brushed his stray tears away with the back of his hands hoping his father wouldn't see him crying.  
  
"I've never seen you this frightened from a nightmare. Are you sure you're ok? What did you dream about?" Andy asked with a worried air.  
  
"Kinda horrible. The b-bus going over the cliff and it's like o-one of th- those out-of-body experiences where I'm watching myself. The sky is all m- misty and silver like a tornado is coming. And I'm standing on the edge of that cliff. The bus spins out of control, w-whizzes right passed me and goes over. Then I see me in the bus as it's tumbling down the cliff in slow motion." He swallowed hard. "Then all this sticky b-blood came out of nowhere. Then I realize it's MY blood because by then, I've popped back into the body in the bus. Blood was s-smeared on the broken w-windows and everywhere. I - I - I was so scared in the dream." Ephram stuttered. "It's like all the other ones."  
  
"Other ones? You mean you've had this same dream before?" Andy said. Ephram nodded. "When did these nightmares start?"  
  
"Oh, I dunno - about a few months ago." He shrugged.  
  
"A FEW months - and you didn't think this was important enough to tell me?!" Andy was appalled and concerned at the same time. "Does this happen every night?"  
  
"Not every night. I can't get it outta my head. The bus - the bus - it just flew over the railing and - and - the loud crash." Ephram's breath quivered. He winced and squeezed his eyes shut. "And the pain. Oh God, the pain -" He exhaled.  
  
"Baby - it's ok. That part of your life is over now. Nothing's going to harm you ever again. Not if I can help it." Andy hugged his son tighter.  
  
"Dad, I don't know what's wrong with me." He squeaked hopelessly.  
  
"Shhhh." Andy held his son and rocked him in his arms. "Nothing's wrong with you. The depression, withdrawal, and anxiety you feel are all symptoms of post-traumatic stress."  
  
"It's been over five months since the bus accident. Why can't I forget it?"  
  
"For some people, post-traumatic stress doesn't appear until months after the incident. What happened to you was so severe and scarring that your brain is dealing with it the only way it knows how - thru your dreams." Andy's voice was soothing and calm. Ephram sensed this and felt more relaxed. "Wish you could've told me about these dreams though."  
  
"I thought I could handle it. But sometimes, it's so real that I feel like I'm living it all over again. When I wake up, I'm covered in sweat and I forget where I am." Ephram looked up at his father.  
  
"Well, you can't handle this all by yourself. Look at you - you look like you've just been dragged thru hell and back."  
  
"The shakes go away after a while and the sweat dries up." Still with an arm around Andy's waist, Ephram pushed the hair out of his frightened eyes. "Dad?"  
  
"What is it, honey?"  
  
"What were you doing in my room?" Ephram wondered.  
  
"Thoughts of you kept gnawing at my brain so I decided to crash here for the night on your sofa. Hope you don't mind." Andy smiled at his pride and joy.  
  
"I don't mind. I'm glad you're here." Ephram snuggled passively under his father's strong arm.  
  
"Better?" Andy noticed his son's shivering had subsided.  
  
"Mmmm." Ephram confirmed.  
  
"Now let's see if we can get you back to sleep." Andy suggested. His heart sank after seeing Ephram unwilling to release from the embrace. "Ok buddy, then scoot over at least. Make some room for your old man."  
  
The nightmare left Ephram so badly shook up that it was impossible for Andy to return to his makeshift bed on Ephram's sofa even if it was only a few feet away. He drew the blanket up and made himself comfortable next to Ephram.  
  
"You're loved very much. I won't let anything happen to you." Andy stroked his son's head mildly as the boy leaned his back against Andy's shoulder. "Close your eyes, baby, and try to get some sleep." Andy kissed the back of Ephram's head.  
  
"I'm scared." He whispered.  
  
"Do you feel safe?" Andy wrapped his free arm around the boy. Ephram sighed.  
  
"Yea. I do. Because you're here." He decided.  
  
"Good. Then you have nothing to worry about, do you? Now, try and sleep." Andy advised.  
  
Just as Ephram was about to obey his father's request, the doorknob to his room turned slowly. The un-oiled door hinges made a tiny creaking noise as it opened. Delia's tangled head of hair poked through the crack of the door.  
  
"Daddy? Ephram?" She mumbled rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She squinted at the brightness from the lamp.  
  
"Sweetheart, what are you doing up?" Andy said.  
  
"I heard a sound and I went to your room to look for you but you weren't there." Delia replied as she came into the room and stood at the foot of Ephram's bed. She had on her matching pink cotton pajamas with all-over images of prancing multi colored ponies imprinted on the fabric. She had in her arms the same fuzzy blue teddy bear with the polka dotted bow that Ephram had won for her at the Plainfield Fair.  
  
"Ephram had a bad dream. But everything's ok now. Go back to bed, sweetie." Andy reassured.  
  
"Daddy, can I sleep here too?" Delia asked.  
  
"No kiddo. Not this time. Now go back to your room." Andy answered softly.  
  
"Aw dad, can't she sleep with us just this one time?" Ephram said seeing the disappointed look on his sister's face. She only wanted to be included. "I don't think I can go back to sleep without knowing that my WHOLE family is by my side." He pouted waiting for his father to accept his excuse.  
  
"Oh, alright. I'll make an exception just this once. But your bed is going to collapse." Andy finally gave in. Delia hopped onto Ephram's bed happily. Ephram was lodged in between his sister and father cozily.  
  
"Delia's so light, another 40 pounds won't make much of a difference." Ephram yawned.  
  
"Was your dream very scary?" Delia questioned after curling up next to her brother with the bear in the crook of her arm.  
  
"Yea." Ephram admitted. "But nothing I'd want to trouble you about."  
  
"It was just a dumb dream anyway. Blueberry and I will protect you." Delia sat the bear on Ephram's stomach.  
  
"Blueberry?" Ephram looked at the worn out plush bear with a permanently stitched smile. It stared at the ceiling with two black glassy beads for eyes.  
  
Delia has never been this attached to any singular toy in all her life. Each time she got a new toy, she'd play with it to death for two weeks - one month if you were lucky. Then they get forgotten and dumped into her toy box when she grew bored with them regardless of how expensive or inexpensive they were. This particular toy that she lugged around with her was special.  
  
The teddy bear was a cheap, dingy prize-toy, which held sentimental value close to Delia's heart because it was from her brother. Ephram had given her other gifts before but this one was different. She'd almost lost her brother that fateful day at the fair. His life had almost been taken away without any warning. Watching her brother lying on the concrete writhing in pain scarred her more than anyone knew. The bear was Delia's only comfort and hope when waiting in the lounge of the hospital for news on how her brother was fairing. Her father, at the time, had been flighty and moving from place to place trying to find out anything he could about his son's condition. The only thing Delia could do was hold onto Nina and that teddy bear. In her subconscious, the bear was a part of Ephram. Each time she took the bear in her arms, a little piece of her dear sweet brother was with her.  
  
"Yep. Blueberry. That's his name." Delia said. "Because he's blue."  
  
"Ah, I get it!" Ephram exclaimed while observing the bear. The fuzzy hairs of the plush toy knotted together and tiny lint balls were forming all over the bear's body. The fluff inside the bear had become flattened making an imbalance between the tummy and the head.  
  
"OK you kids, time to go to sleep." Andy said and turned off the lamp. And tucked the blanket over his children.  
  
"I love you guys." Ephram sighed.  
  
"We know." Andy replied and ruffled Ephram's hair playfully. Delia gave Ephram a quick affectionate peck on the cheek and made Blueberry do the same.  
  
Silence swallowed the room as they each closed their eyes and let the final thoughts linger through their minds before drowsiness consumed them entirely. Andy was most concerned with Ephram's shaky and fragile emotional stress level. His son resembled a ticking time bomb, which may or may not blow up at any given time. Thinking about it made Andy apprehensive. He wanted to be present if anything should happen. He wanted to be there to save Ephram's life or salvage what's left of it. Helping his son get better and show him how much he loved him were his first and foremost goals. Andy found himself praying a lot lately - something he hadn't really done in years. Delia's selfless thoughts about her brother's health ruled her mind. She often seemed to be the happy camper of the family but this didn't stop her from secretly worrying about Ephram. Her deepest fear was losing someone else she loved. After losing her mother, she realized how precious and breakable a life was. She nearly lost her brother twice. Delia grown even more attached to him after those incidents and she would never ever let go. Ever. Ephram had the most complicated thoughts of all. He had suicidal urges and unpredictable bouts of depression - those were things he couldn't deny anymore. They were very real. He was afraid of himself and what he might do if he should lose control. And those horrible nightmares he had every now and then that scared the living daylights out of him - those were the worst because they were uncontrollable. They forced him to relive the past - second by second. Ephram shuddered and nestled closer to his father feeling a sense of warmth and security. He wanted things to get better. They all did.  
  
Finally, the three welcomed their tired minds to a peaceful sleep for the rest of the night.  
  
* end of chapter 7 *  
  
Author's Note: Thanks so much for reading!! :o) The next chapter will be up soon! 


	8. Lifesaver

(Sorry it's taken forever to update! Hope this extra long chapter makes up for it.)  
  
Chapter 8: Lifesaver  
  
"Hello. Dad?" Ephram spoke earnestly into his cell phone calmly disguising the anxiety in his voice. An uneasy feeling twisted his stomach into tight knots. Something uncontrollable was happening to him. He felt like Dr.Jekyll turning into Mr. Hyde.  
  
"Ephram. Hi! How's your first day back at school going?" Andy's cheery voice came on the other end of the line. His father didn't register the turmoil that lingered in his son's tone. Ephram paused trying to hold back the giant ball of tears in his eyes ready to give way. A lumpy knot irritated his parched throat. The seams of hope, which he hung so dearly onto, were gradually bursting one by one. It was too agonizing and hurtful to hold it in any longer.  
  
"Dad!!" Ephram sobbed. The flood of tears came making his stifled sobs more noticeable.  
  
"Ephram? What's wrong?" Andy asked cautiously catching the stifled sobs.  
  
"I'm sorry to bother you, dad. I know you're very busy at work and everything but I just needed to hear your voice." Ephram blurted in despair.  
  
"It's no bother at all. I was waiting for your call actually. Why are you crying?" Andy shifted attentively in his black leather executive chair. If only Andy knew the severity of Ephram's situation.  
  
Ephram tried to control the breathtaking hiccups from his sobbing. He didn't know what to say. Perhaps calling his father was a mistake after all. Somehow, the events that led up to this point now seemed stupid and puerile.  
  
"I don't know. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I shouldn't have called you." Ephram's voice shook hoping his father wouldn't turn him away.  
  
"No, no. Wait! Don't hang up. I told you that you could call me anytime, anywhere. Besides, getting a call from you is the highlight of my day." Andy sensed the fragility in his son's voice. "You don't know how dull it gets here sometimes. I can't say business is booming."  
  
Ephram sniffled and moved his position on the pebbled concrete block slightly when the coldness of the stones penetrated thru his jeans. He watched the foamy white clouds roll casually across the clear blue sky above. Wild geese echoed each other's squawk as they flew overhead in a neat triangular squadron. Their peculiar formation made an arrow in the sky. * This way * they pointed and flew passed the horizon with the clouds on their wings.  
  
"You sound upset. Why don't you tell me what's wrong?" Andy said after a pause. The additional silence prompted Andy to keep talking. "Ephram, say something. Anything."  
  
Ephram tried biting his lip to refrain from bawling but once he let that one sob go, it was very difficult to control whatever came after. His cries were so heavy that it brought both misery and concern to Andy's heart. It was a thousand knives through Andy's soul. Never had he heard a child's sobbing contain so much poignancy. He had yet to discover Ephram's atrocious intentions.  
  
"Did something happen at school?" Andy took a wild guess.  
  
"What does it matter? They all treat me like a freak anyway." Ephram slobbered all over his silver-coated Motorola cell phone.  
  
"Tell me what happened." Andy persisted. Except for an occasional snort to suck in the nasal drip, there was silence from Ephram on the line. "Ephram, calm down. Tell me. I really want to know."  
  
"I hate 'em. I hate every single one of them. They just stare and gape at me as if I'm some sort of creature out of a horror movie. When I wheel myself down the hall I see them scatter to one side like they were afraid I might accidentally roll over their toes. They dart their eyes and whisper about me. People who never even gave me the time of day last year came up to me and asked me how I was and that they've read about the bus accident in the Everwood Gazette. In Chemistry class, five people offered to be my lab partner. Last year, nobody volunteered to be my bio lab partner - heck - no one would touch me with a ten feet pole let alone be my lab partner. It was like I had leprosy or something. In the end, I did just fine dissecting that frog by myself. I know they suddenly treat me nice not because they liked me but they do it because they felt guilty for the kid in the wheelchair." Ephram heaved.  
  
"Gym, Dad. Gym is the worst." Ephram continued before his father could reply. "Tell me it's not hard for someone like me to be in a class where participation counts. Everyone's playing ball but lucky me, I get to display myself by the bleachers while they look at me with their sorry-ass faces. Even Coach Williams look at me all weird. I know he's always hated my guts back then and a class didn't go by without him getting in a word or two about how puny I am. So I said to his face, "What's the matter meathead? Don't know what to say to a handicap?" And he just patted me on the back and smiled. He used to make me run laps around the gym for pissing him off, which is most of the time. What can he make me do now? Nothing. That's the answer - nothing. In fact, all the teachers give me the special treatment like I'm terminally ill. I don't want to be golden like Colin - I only want to be normal. Why can't I JUST be normal?" Ephram rambled.  
  
"Honey, you're jumping ahead of yourself. Why don't you start from the very beginning and tell me everything." Andy said as he leaned back on this chair and put his feet up on his desk.  
  
"I don't know if it matters anymore dad. It all sounds really stupid about now." Ephram let his feet dangle aimlessly over the edge.  
  
"It's not stupid. Ephram, it does matter. You matter. I know it's hard, but that's what I'm here for - to help you. I can't speak for everyone but I do know that it's just as much a shock for you as it is for them. And you're right. Guilt may have something to do with it but you can't hold it against them. While half the town people were out enjoying their summer vacations, you were confined to a hospital bed and in pain 90% of the time. Truth is, we all feel a bit guilty you had to go thru it. But you pulled through. You survived the unthinkable." Andy reasoned.  
  
"I keep telling myself that things will get better and that I'm so close to walking again. Lies. All lies." Ephram wept some more.  
  
"No, no, no. Baby. They are not lies at all." Andy soothed. "You ARE getting better everyday."  
  
Pause.  
  
"Ephram, maybe I was wrong to make you go back to school so soon. But the reason why I did was because you were doing so well with your rehab and things were finally starting to look promising. Do you remember two weeks ago - that chair exercise, when Marla told you to try extending your leg out and you couldn't? But now you could!! Wow, think about it Ephram - you've mastered it in two weeks where most people would need at least a month of rehab to get as far as you have." Andy pointed out.  
  
Another pause.  
  
"I'm so lost." Ephram finally whimpered and ran a nervous hand thru his hair. He leaned the back of his head against a mossy thick wooden beam behind him. Ephram gazed into the blue sky with pleading eyes as if in search for God to send an angel to come save him. His tears flowed out of his eyes again.  
  
"Then let me be the one to find you Ephram." Andy didn't get a response. All he heard was his son's continued sobbing. "Look, you get off from school in an hour, don't you?" Andy glanced at his watch. "Why don't I pick you up and we'll talk over a chocolate float at the Dairy Queen? It'll just be the two of us. Delia will hate us for excluding her out of ice cream but she'll just have to deal with it this time."  
  
Edna whirled into his office without knocking and waved her hands frantically trying to get Andy's attention. He guessed his dedicated nurse was trying to tell him he's got a patient waiting for him. Andy, with his feet still on his desk, pointed to his cell phone and shook his head motioning to Edna that it was an important call. All her "But Andy's" were cut short when he waved her away. Unsuccessful at getting Andy to listen, Edna hurried back to her desk in a frustrated huff.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Well Ephram, what do you say? I'll pick you up by the side exit. Cool?" Andy asked again.  
  
"Dad, I'm not at the school right now." Ephram choked on his sobs. "I left." Shocked and worried, Andy took his feet off his desk and straightened his posture.  
  
"WHAT? Where are you? Does anyone know you're gone?" Andy exclaimed a little too loudly. A thousand menacing thoughts ran thru Andy's mind.  
  
"No, I didn't tell anyone. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry. I had to get away. I needed to get away." Ephram wiped the tears off his cheeks with the sleeve of his coat. "No one understands. It's my problem -"  
  
"No Ephram, it's not your problem. It's OUR problem. We are in it together." Andy responded as Edna rushed into his office again. Only this time she flashed a yellow legal pad in front of Andy with "THE SCHOOL CALLED - EPHRAM'S MISSING" scrawled with a thick black magic marker. Andy nodded, pointed to his cell phone, and mouthed the word "Ephram" to Edna. "Are you at home?" Andy spoke into his phone.  
  
"No." Ephram replied with a shaky voice. Andy stormed out his office. Edna watched him worriedly as he paced around the foyer several times before finally grabbing his coat off the coat rack and headed out the door.  
  
"Please son, tell me where you are." With his cell phone glued to his ear, Andy slid into his car and started the ignition.  
  
"Why do I do these things?" Ephram grunted in anger. "Please forgive me, dad. I'm such a screw up." He sobbed. "I hate myself."  
  
"Ephram, don't talk like that. You're not a screw up. You are a good son."  
  
"You're wrong. If I were a good son, I wouldn't put you through so much grief. I've been a jerk from day one - I did things to spite you no matter how kind or right you were. And now, I've really out done myself. With my ass stuck in a wheelchair, you've got your hands full. And all those mean things I said to you. Dad, I said I hated you and wanted you to go to hell. What good son would say those things to his own father???" Ephram paused for breath and a chance to wipe his face with his sleeve again. "And still, you treat me so well. Sometimes I think I don't deserve your love."  
  
"You are a teenager - I expected you to be difficult. Nobody said it would be easy. Rebellion is a part of being a teenager. And don't be so hard on yourself. When people are pissed off, they often tend to say things they don't mean. I don't hold any of it against you cause I know you didn't mean it. If it'll make you feel any better, I called you a bastard during one of our arguments - which is pretty stupid because if I'm calling you a bastard, then I'm really calling myself a bastard since we're related. I say we call it even." Andy said.  
  
"I felt so awful right now. So confused and messed up. I only want the hurting to stop." Ephram shivered as the winds picked up. "It hurts so bad."  
  
'Hurt?! What did he mean by that?! Hurt - as in the literal sense or non- literal sense? What has he done?' Andy's mind panicked.  
  
He knew about Ephram's suicidal thoughts when things got bad. Morbid thoughts and worse case scenarios rendered Andy's troubled mind. Has Ephram hurt himself? What if he's sitting somewhere with his wrists slit bleeding profusely while the life slowly drained out of his body? Or what if he overdosed on pills and would be a matter of time before the drugs kicked in? Knowing all the possibilities that could occur with Ephram's current condition made Andy nervous. He was in agony to know what was going on at the other end of his phone line. But what was he supposed to do? He wanted to come right out and ask the boy what he'd done.  
  
"Ephram, where are you?!" Andy cried. He regretted ever having made the decision for his son to go back to school so soon. "Please tell me where you are!! Please!!"  
  
'Ephram was in a wheelchair - he couldn't have gone far.' Andy thought to himself.  
  
A tear slid down Ephram's chalky face. The air, which he breathed in, was crisp and minty. It was the first sign that old man winter was nearing. He inhaled a deep breath of this pleasant, unpolluted Rocky Mountain air. It was especially refreshing and cleansed his lungs making him feel new again. He admired the rustic autumn hues of red, orange, and yellow treetops swaying in a gentle motion to resemble a massive plush carpet rolling down the mountainside. He was able to see everything from the altitude where he sat. Mother Nature was there to comfort him.  
  
"Hello? Ephram? You there? Are you ok?" Andy called upon hearing his son's heavy sigh.  
  
"I'm here." Ephram replied coldly. "Life is fair to everyone except me."  
  
'Ok Andy, whatever you do - stay calm. Calling me was Ephram's cry for help. He doesn't want to die. If he did, he wouldn't have called.' Andy coaxed himself into thinking. 'But oh my God!! He's started talking about life not being fair. What is this subject leading to??? I HAVE to find out where he is.' Andy thought.  
  
"Why is this happening to me? Why? What horrible thing did I do to deserve this? Does this have something to do with mom?" Ephram's sobs became louder. "Was it because of me that she died? Was it my fault?"  
  
"Your mother's death had absolutely nothing to do with you. Why would you even think that???" Andy exclaimed with fear in his eyes.  
  
"It's the only logical explanation I can think of." Tears blinded his vision. "All because of a dumb suit for my piano recital! She insisted on picking up my gray suit from the dry cleaners. I told her it wasn't necessary and that I could wear something else, but she liked the way that particular suit fit on me. She decided I had to look perfect for the recital. I could've stopped her from going into the car, but I didn't. I let her die. That's why God is punishing me, isn't it?" He blubbered while quickly wiping his tears away from his red, swollen eyes.  
  
"No. No. No. Ephram - it was raining hard that night and the roads were slippery. Besides, nothing you could've said or done would've changed your mother's mind. Once she has an idea stamped in her head, she won't let it go of it until it's done." Andy's heart pounded and his head spun. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Never in a million years would he even suspect Ephram blamed himself for Julia's death. "It's not your fault. Please listen to me. It's NOT your fault."  
  
"I hate being like this. I don't know what to do with myself." Ephram tasted the salty tears that had fallen on his lips. "Sometimes. Sometimes, I want to die." He stared at a tiny black spider moving with elegance and rhythm as it speedily crawled in between the eroded crevices of the old pebbled blocks. The spider's fine, thread-like legs reminded him of delicate violin strings.  
  
'God no! Don't even go there, boy.' Andy thought wildly as his worst nightmare unraveled.  
  
"I'm afraid I might do it one day." Ephram sobbed. He wiped the mucus that was dripping onto his lips. His eyes were blood shot and swollen to the point where it looked like he'd been crying for days straight. "My heart is so full of pain. I want it to stop. I do." He bawled.  
  
"I know you're hurting. I want to help you. Why won't you tell me where you are?"  
  
'Because dad. Because I wanted so bad to end my miserable life.' Ephram's thoughts trailed off. He just couldn't bring himself to saying it out loud.  
  
The pause felt eternal.  
  
"Son, did you plan on doing something?" Andy hesitated before asking this question. He was afraid he already knew the answer.  
  
Ephram sobbed at the question asked of him. His father had read his mind. He had a hidden agenda, but he wasn't sure he could go through with it now. It was a constant tug-of-war between boundaries and the rope was getting thinner and thinner. On one end was the relief from all pain and anger, and on the other end was his family's devoted love for him. He was torn between his selfish wants and his family's needs. Death teased him - it was an easy way out. But love was strong and binding and made life worth living for. His father made him feel wanted and valuable but most of all - needed.  
  
"I'm so ashamed." Ephram muttered through chokes. Andy took this reply as an automatic 'yes.'  
  
"Don't be. Everyone has a vulnerable moment. Things are going to be fine." Andy tried to suppress the fear. "Please Ephram, tell me where you are and I'll come get you."  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Ephram repeated partly to his father and partly to himself. "I didn't mean to. I was just thinking of it. Thinking and doing are two totally different things. I know I was bad to think of it, but it seemed like such a good idea in the beginning - I dunno, like a door number 2, an alternative. I don't expect you to understand at all and I-I know you try so hard to - But I really wasn't going to do anything - honest!" He babbled on.  
  
He heard a noise that sounded like someone stepping on twigs. He glanced around to see who had discovered his secret hiding place. Turns out, it was no one. It was the creaking sounds of old rotted wooden beams that held the place together when the wind blew. It was unreasonable for anyone to be there this time of year anyway. The place had been abandoned and left un- kept for what seemed like years. The slosh of the swelling water beneath him crashed against the jagged rocks as the tide came in. It was saying, "I'm hungry. Let me swallow you" in Ephram's mind. "Jump kid, jump. They won't find you for days. Maybe the current would deliver your body right into the hungry mouths of piranhas, where they will strip what little meat you have left on your whimpy bones. Go on you worthless, good for nothing speck of fly spit." Ephram squeezed his eyes shut to block out the evil voice. He whimpered and sobbed in anger.  
  
"It's so horrible. Horrible." Ephram whined and covered his eyes with his hands. Sucking in too much of the brisk air and sobbing made him nauseous.  
  
"Ephram-" Andy pleaded. "Son? Please. I understand you completely. I love you too much Ephram. You can't do this to yourself! You can't!!" Andy listened to his son's desperate cries. "Tell me where you are - I'll take you home."  
  
Those last few words vibrated in Ephram's head. Home. Home was the only place where he felt secure. It may be just four walls but those four walls protected him from any contact with the outside. Those very walls housed his family, his things, and his hope. It sheltered him from pain and heartache. He needed to feel safe again.  
  
"I'll take you home." Andy repeated. "Please."  
  
Ephram did want to go home. It sounded very comforting, besides he felt lousy. Home wasn't such a bad idea after all. Ephram decided it was time to give up his secret location.  
  
"I'm - I'm at the bridge." Ephram murmured through sobs.  
  
"The bridge?!" Andy's pulse raced. 'Good God, the boy was going to push himself off a bridge.' He thought.  
  
But which bridge?! As far as Andy knew, there were four different bridges in Everwood. Andy thought for a moment. There was no background noise from Ephram's side of the phone, which meant it wasn't the Madison Bridge over Springs River. The Madison Bridge was ultimately a busy area with high vehicle activity. And out of process of elimination and the distance that Ephram was able to wheel himself to, there was only one bridge that came to mind. "You mean the Old Miles Bridge?" Andy asked.  
  
"That's the one." Ephram replied.  
  
"Stay put. I'm on my way." Andy pulled out of the parking space and sped down the street.  
  
The Old Miles was just a few blocks within driving distance away from the school. The old wooden bridge was a short bridge of a few miles, which ran over Elk River. It'd been unused and abandoned for as long as the townspeople could remember. Since the Madison Bridge was erected, there was no use left for this rickety old wood-planked bridge, which was beyond repair and everyone was just waiting for it to collapse of old age. However, in the spring and summer, kids often came with their rods and bait, and fished off the middle of that old bridge. And from what Andy's heard, there are some good-sized porgies that could be caught there.  
  
"Dad?" The boy called weakly as a gust of brisk air swept the bridge.  
  
"Yea, son. I'm here." Andy swerved in an out of lanes trying to beat the traffic and reach Ephram before he did anything foolish. The thought did cross Andy's mind of the possibility that Ephram might have already done something to himself. He didn't have to jump off a bridge to commit suicide. There were a million other ways to end one's life and Andy could only guess what was happening with his son right then. Regardless, Andy had to keep the boy talking.  
  
"Are you mad at me?" Ephram asked. The cold, pebbled stones of the block under his jeans made his legs frigid. With a little effort, he managed to pull each knee up to his chest with his hand. He hugged his knees with his free arm to generate some warmth.  
  
"Mad at you? Of course not!! It would've been nice if you told me first that you wanted to hang out at the old bridge before going there by yourself." Andy tried to focus on his driving while talking on his cell phone simultaneously. It wasn't easy when the conversation was this intense with the limitation of one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding the phone. It was like rubbing your stomach and patting your head at the same time.  
  
"Sorry. I n-needed a breath of f-fresh air." Ephram's teeth chattered audibly from the coldness by the water.  
  
"Son? You ok?" Andy braked at the traffic light when the light suddenly turned yellow then red. He tapped his fingers on the leather strapping of the steering wheel impatiently waiting for the green light to appear.  
  
"Hmm? J-just kinda c-cold." Ephram breathed.  
  
Andy couldn't tell if his son was suffering from some self-inflicted injury or if he really was just cold. "Do you have your coat on?" He asked. The second the traffic light turned green he pressed hard on the gas pedal making tire tracks on the street.  
  
"Yea. I should've w-worn a warmer coat. Brrrr." Ephram stuck his hands inside his cuff.  
  
"You left your Brooklyn sweatshirt in the car here. Maybe that would help." Andy offered.  
  
Preoccupied with talking to Ephram, he forgot to come to a complete stop at a stop sign. A blue sedan came out of nowhere and nearly sideswiped Andy's car. He slammed on the brakes as the traction on his tires made a sharp screech. His cell phone almost flew out of his hand. Luckily, the sedan missed Andy's car by an inch but the idea of almost colliding with the car gave Andy goose bumps. It could've been a serious accident. God was watching over him that day. Andy's first New York instinct was to scream on the top of his lungs every possible cuss word made known to mankind and to top it off with the infamous middle finger, even though it was initially his fault. But he remembered he wasn't in New York. People in good ol' Mapletown, USA - Everwood were polite. He stuck his head out the window and yelled "Sorry about that sir!" with an apologetic smile and an amiable wave of his hand. He quickly continued his way to the Old Miles Bridge.  
  
"Ephram - you still there?" Andy cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder as he wiped the sweat off the palm of his hand on his trousers.  
  
"Yea. What was that all about?" Ephram asked curiously.  
  
"Uh - oh nothing." Andy said innocently. "Um, almost ran over some guy's dog." He didn't have the heart to tell his son he was almost in a car accident after Ephram blamed himself for Julia's car wreck. "So, you hungry? Wanna grab a snack?" Andy changed the subject.  
  
"Not really. I'm not hungry." Ephram answered. He wanted to straighten his legs and pull himself back onto the inside of the bridge where his wheelchair was. But his legs were too cold and weak to allow him any favorable movement. He would need both hands to grab onto the nearest beam and pull his body slowly out. One hand holding the cell phone made it quite difficult.  
  
"What? Nonsense. You're always hungry. What are you - fasting?" Andy tried to lighten the conversation. "How about some fries or cheese nachos?"  
  
"Please don't talk about food. I don't think my stomach can handle the thought of it right now." Ephram said. The queasy feeling in his stomach still had not subsided yet.  
  
"What's wrong?" Andy tensed up.  
  
"Stomach's not cooperating with me today." Ephram replied. "Must've ate something bad."  
  
"What do you mean by that?" Andy blurted unwittingly. His hair stood on end with the eagerness of finding out Ephram's condition.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Ephram, are you not telling me something I need to know?" Andy said in a concerned fatherly tone. "Tell me it's not what I think you did. What did you eat?" Andy demanded. He meant to say, 'what kind of pills did you take?' but refrained from saying those exact words.  
  
Andy's shiny hunter green Range Rover pulled up to the Old Miles Bridge. He stepped out of the car in a hurry.  
  
"Ephram, I'm at the Bridge. But I don't see you." Andy said into his phone as he scanned the area before him anxiously. He studied the place more carefully and spotted Ephram's empty iGlide by the metal railing. He had expected to see his son in the wheelchair. His eyes widened.  
  
As soon as Andy approached the wheelchair, he noticed a slight movement on the outside ledge of the bridge. He ventured a closer look and the first thing he noticed was a black coat sleeve, then a blue denim pant leg, then a black sneaker, and finally a head of black hair. His heart nearly stopped when he saw Ephram huddled against the cold beam of wood, which hid his small frame too well. Andy snapped his cell phone shut and placed it into his coat pocket.  
  
"Ephram! I found you. Turn around." Andy called out to get his son's attention. The boy turned his head to see his father waving at him. Ephram pocketed his cell phone. "Son! I'm coming!!" Andy yelled. He wondered how Ephram managed to pull himself into that position. Ephram obviously didn't know how dangerous it was - one false move and he could hurl himself over the bridge willingly or not.  
  
Andy took a step onto the old beam that stood in between the pebbled block ledge and the inner metal rail. For a man who was afraid of heights, this was a big challenge. It was a long way down and his knees were rubbery. But he had to put all his fears aside and save his son. As soon as he set a foot on the beam, the wood made a loud cracking noise - like the noise a tree makes before it falls over. This forced Andy to retreat back onto the inside of the bridge.  
  
"Dad!!" Ephram exclaimed.  
  
"I'm too heavy. Both our weights will bring the beam down. You are going to have to pull yourself over so I can reach you." Andy instructed.  
  
Ephram released the hold on his knees and moved his legs so they were parallel to his body. He rolled onto his stomach and reached for the wooden beam above him to gain some leverage.  
  
"Easy now. Careful." Andy coached while grabbing the rusted metal railing with both hands. The flaky rust rubbed off against his palms the color of burnt orange. It smelled heavily of iron. His heart pounded violently against his chest.  
  
Ephram's hold on the wood beam slipped forcing his torso to be thrown forward onto the pebbled block. His face smacked against the cold stones and left him dazed for a few seconds. Andy let out an uncontrollable shriek as he witnessed this nerve-racking attempt. Ephram shook his head and rubbed his cheek where it came into contact with the cold hard surface. A tiny rock had fallen into the river making circular ripples as it hit the water.  
  
"Are you alright??" Andy hollered.  
  
"Hmm? Yea. I think so." Ephram squinted to focus.  
  
"Reach for my hand." Andy hollered. He extended his hand as far out as he could. He tried desperately to reach for his son.  
  
Ephram tried to grab the wood beam a second time to pull himself closer to Andy's hand. He willed his legs to move and much to his surprise, they obeyed. It was just a little push but it worked. He stretched out his hand and was able to touch Andy's fingertips.  
  
"A little more." Andy reached. "OK, I got you. Hold on!" Andy grabbed his hand. He took him by the back of the coat and hoisted him up by the waist onto the middle of the bridge.  
  
"Are you ok?" Andy cried in distress. He frantically searched every inch of Ephram's body for injuries. He checked Ephram's wrists and felt his limbs and torso for any signs of hurt. Ephram obediently watched his father examine him. Once Andy was satisfied with his findings, he pulled the boy to his feet and held him in a tight hug by the waist. He cared so much for him.  
  
"Oh Dad!!" Ephram's voice cracked as he burst into tears and threw his arms around his father's neck. He sobbed tenderly into his shoulder. Andy flung him around like a giant soft ragged doll in his arms refusing to let go. Ephram would fall to the ground easily should his father release his grasp.  
  
"Ephram, baby, tell me you didn't hurt yourself. Did you take anything?" Andy said thru hot blinding tears.  
  
"No, dad. I didn't. I didn't." Ephram repeated truthfully. He clung to his father neglecting his constantly falling tears.  
  
"Are you sure? You wouldn't be lying to me, now would you?" Andy sighed and squeezed his son tighter.  
  
"I swear. I didn't take any pills. I promise." He sobbed.  
  
"You had me so scared." Andy kissed his son's ear and continued to hold onto the boy.  
  
"I don't want to go to school. Please don't make me go back!!" Ephram squalled. "I can't go back."  
  
"Whatever you want, baby. Whatever you want. Don't try this again. If something happened to you, I would never forgive myself." Andy heaved.  
  
"Please don't tell Nina. Don't tell anyone about this!!" Ephram begged. Sobs shook his body.  
  
"I won't but she's going to find out sooner or later. She's a smart woman."  
  
"I'm sorry dad!!" Ephram yelled as the tears continued their journey down his cheeks and onto Andy's coat. "So sorry!!" Ephram repeated over and over through heart wrenching sobs. "I won't do it again!"  
  
"I know. Ssshhh. Its ok." Andy lulled. "Don't cry. It's ok."  
  
The embrace lasted for a long while. Andy's arms grew tired from holding up Ephram's weight but he didn't care. He would hold him forever if he had to and never allow any harm come to his precious child. Ephram had no choice but to hang on. His legs would never hold him up. Besides, he didn't mind the paternal display of affection. It was convenient that no one was around to witness it and tease him about being a "daddy's boy."  
  
"Uh, dad?" Ephram mumbled softly. A nauseous sensation developed in the pit of his stomach. The saliva in his mouth gave a sharp acid taste.  
  
"Yea, buddy?"  
  
"I-I don't feel so good. I think I'm gonna be sick." Ephram warbled. Andy lowered his son down carefully onto the curb and sat beside him. He brushed Ephram's tangled hair away from his face.  
  
"It's nerves." Andy concluded. He looked closely at the quiet boy. The clammy skin and glossy eyes made him realize that Ephram was indeed not well. Andy watched the boy's complexion turn from a tint of rose to a pale shade of green. Before he could utter another word, Ephram bent over to his side and regurgitated all the contents of his stomach. The thick purplish soupy mess made a loud splash onto the wood and seeped thru the gaps of the planks. He gagged on the last of the vomit and winced at the sour aftertaste. Andy rubbed the boy's back to ease the discomfort.  
  
"Man, what the heck did you have for lunch?" Andy mused staring at the irregular chunks of brown and reddish globs floating in the filmy purple vomit.  
  
"Meat loaf, coleslaw, and a grape soda." Ephram coughed and cleared his throat.  
  
"Yuck! That's a nasty combination." Andy frowned. "No wonder your stomach rejected it."  
  
"It was either that or a horse burger deluxe and rubber tater-tots." Ephram spitted out the last of the bitter saliva in his mouth.  
  
"The burgers are not made of horse." Andy rolled his eyes in disbelief.  
  
"For all I know, they could be made of bear or deer but they sure don't taste like beef to me. And I know what beef tastes like. Maybe it's ground up snake. People in these parts of Colorado eat snakes, don't they?" Ephram said nervously.  
  
"That's a misconception. Just like the misconception of all New Yorkers being connected to some crime boss." Andy was glad his son was showing his spunkiness again. "Are you feeling better now?" Andy switched to worried father mode. He ran a palm over his son's cheek and forehead.  
  
"Yea, I'm fine."  
  
"Well, I'm going to have to disagree with that. You feel kind of warm. How long have you been sitting out here?" Andy asked.  
  
"I left the school about after lunch." Ephram stared at the unraveled shoelace on his left sneaker. "Been here ever since - trying to decide whether or not to call you."  
  
"I'm glad you called me." Andy smiled and tugged at his son's sleeve. "We'd better get you home though. You've probably caught a cold sitting here with this freezing air blowing at you." He placed an arm over his shoulders and pulled him into a semi-hug.  
  
"Just my luck." Ephram grinned and pretended to be disappointed. "Now, Nina will HAVE to make me some of her delicious chicken soup with rice."  
  
"Ah, so you like her fussing over you, don't you?" Andy saw Ephram avoiding his glance. "I know you like the attention. Well, she's great. And I'm forever grateful that she's here to lend a clueless dad such as myself a helping hand with raising my kids. Heaven only knows you guys need a mother's touch too."  
  
"She's a better cook than you." Ephram admitted.  
  
"Don't worry, after I tell her you've got a temperature, she's going to be waiting on you hand and foot." Andy winked comically. He easily scooped Ephram up with one had under the boy's knees and the other across the shoulder blades. They made their way back to the car and Andy placed Ephram in the front seat. He went back to the side of the bridge to retrieve the wheelchair. And once that was loaded into the trunk of the car, they drove home.  
  
Andy darted worried glances over at his son, who was strapped into the passenger side securely with a seat belt. His black sweatshirt draped over the shoulders of his coat for extra warmth. Ephram quietly stared straight ahead hardly ever blinking at the passing scenery. Andy saw the way the pupils of his son's eyes dilated at the acceleration of the vehicle. The poor kid was still frightened - less now than compared to a few weeks ago but nonetheless, he was frightened and this put a constant worry in Andy.  
  
"Hey, buddy?" Andy said in a hypnotic tone. "Buddy?" Ephram's concentration on the windshield was broken after the second time Andy called him.  
  
"Huh?" Ephram said nervously and turned his head to face his father.  
  
"You alright?" Andy questioned skeptically.  
  
"Yea, fine. I guess. Why?" Ephram replied.  
  
"Your face is white and you look like you're about to pass out."  
  
"Oh." Ephram said. "I forgot to take my Valium this morning. Maybe I'm just a little edgy." He admitted.  
  
Andy shot an occasional glance at Ephram. A young kid like Ephram shouldn't be dependent and reliant on a drug to calm his nerves. But from Andy's point of view, it was necessary - at least for the time being. Ever since Andy found out about Ephram's nightmares, he paid closer attention to his son and became more perceptive on his actions. Not only were the nightmares more frequent and kept the boy awake at night, he noticed Ephram becoming increasingly jumpy at sudden loud noises. So, Andy prescribed his son a dose of Valium each day. It was given to him only one dosage at a time by Andy as a precaution to Ephram's unpredictable suicidal urges. Ephram needed a tranquilizer to ease his mind - at least so he could get a good night's sleep.  
  
"You're doing fine. I know you're scared. I know what you're going through and it's ok. Things will get better." Andy reassured. Ephram smiled, leaned back and closed his eyes. He inhaled and exhaled slowly trying to calm his nerves.  
  
"Breathe. That's it. We're almost home." Andy informed. After a few calming seconds of listening to Ephram breathe, Ephram's eyes shot wide opened and he sat straight in his seat.  
  
"DAD!!" Ephram yelled.  
  
"What?! What?! What's wrong??" Andy's mind twirled when he heard his son cry out. He thought Ephram was having a panic attack.  
  
"I was thinking, could we stop at Momma Joy's and pick up a homemade cinnamon apple pie? It would go great with the vanilla ice cream we have at home!" Ephram reeled. "We can invite Nina and Sam over for dessert."  
  
"Oh, is that all?" Andy felt relieved. "You've just succeeded in scaring me half to death. I thought there was something wrong. Does the word cardiac arrest mean anything to you?" He said wryly.  
  
"Jumpy, aren't we? I guess it runs in the family." Ephram joked. "Well, so can we?"  
  
"Sure." Andy grinned. Things were back to normal. Or so it seemed. There was a long unpaved road ahead and it was their destiny to walk it together regardless of the jagged the rocks that pierced their feet with each step. Ephram's hope needed to be restored.  
  
*** Cell Phone Tag ***  
  
"What is this?" Andy said pointing to a large salad bowl filled with little brown pellet-like balls. Ephram stopped writing and looked up from his seat at the dining room table.  
  
"It's Cocoa Puffs." Ephram answered candidly and continued writing in his notebook.  
  
"Ok, would you care to expand on why the Cocoa Puffs are in a salad bowl?" Andy asked after Ephram's explanation fell short.  
  
"Oh, Delia was looking for the Pokemon decoder ring in the bottom of the box this morning." Ephram said without looking up.  
  
"A what?" Andy was confused.  
  
"The prize they hide inside the cereal box. You know dad, the main reason why Delia picked that cereal." Ephram twirled his pen in his hand.  
  
"For a cheap plastic ring that cost less than a penny to produce?" Andy reached for the cabinet knob.  
  
"Hey, it's not just any plastic ring. It's a Pokemon decoder ring AND it glows in the dark." Ephram said seriously.  
  
"She shouldn't leave a mess for someone else to clean up." Andy took a large Ziploc storage bag out of the cabinet.  
  
"It's not her fault. I told her to use the salad bowl cause it's easier to find the ring that way than to have her digging thru the box with her hands." Ephram's eyes followed his father.  
  
"So you're covering for her now, huh?" Andy humored as he brought the bowl and bag to where Ephram sat.  
  
"No comment." Ephram said smartly and brought his pen back to the notebook.  
  
"What are you working on?" Andy nodded towards the stack of books and school supplies scattered all over the table.  
  
"Homework. At this rate, I don't think I'm ever going to finish. I'll never catch up!!" He fretted.  
  
It was decided that Ephram would be doing his schoolwork from home for a while. Ephram's shaky nerves and psychological stress were the very reasons Andy refrained from pushing his son back into the whirlwind of peer pressure and school life. Ephram was not ready to go back. The last thing Andy wanted was to have his son get a nervous breakdown and try to kill himself again. Andy served as the liaison between Ephram and the school. He dropped off Ephram's completed homework in the mornings and picked up his next assignments on his way home from the office every other day. He'd kept his son's situation confidential - he managed to do that much. The reason he gave to Ephram's teachers and principal was the fact that Ephram was emotionally distraught and suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, which was not a total lie.  
  
"I think your teachers will go lenient on you - given the circumstances. Just try your best." Andy smiled and poured the cereal into the plastic bag careful not to spill any onto the floor.  
  
"Easy for you to say." Ephram pouted. He stuck his nose in his American History textbook and began jotting down notes in his binder.  
  
A bleating electronic rendition of the theme music to Mission Impossible rang out catching Andy's attention. Andy spotted the blinking red light on Ephram's small black Nokia cell phone on the table beside his yellow highlighter marker. Ephram made no signs of acknowledging the call. He kept his eyes glued to his book occasionally scribbling some important fact in the margins.  
  
"Aren't you gonna answer your phone?" Andy questioned as the ringtone continued to sound.  
  
"Nope." Still busy writing in his notebook.  
  
"Don't you want to know who it is?" Andy tilted his head to read the caller ID feature on his phone.  
  
"I know who it is." Ephram said trying to sound uninterested.  
  
"Ephram - at least talk to her." Andy suggested after he learned who the mystery caller was.  
  
"I have nothing to say to her."  
  
"Sure you do. When was the last time you talked to her?" Andy asked as he watched a stray Cocoa Puff roll off the table. "Ephram, I asked you a question."  
  
"I don't know. The day before we went to the fair." He answered.  
  
"So, she doesn't know about - ?" Andy's voice trailed off. Ephram nodded. "I still think you ought to talk to her." Andy gave his opinion.  
  
"And tell her what?! That I'm stuck in a wheelchair? That I may never walk again? She's the only cool person I know and if she finds out, she'll become like all the others. Nobody wants to put up with someone like me." He said dryly.  
  
"You don't know that."  
  
"Yes, I do." He challenged.  
  
"If she is as cool as you say she is, then she would understand. I thought you guys were such good friends. Didn't you want to see her when we go back to New York for Christmas?"  
  
"Oh no. Uh-uh." Ephram shook his head. "I'm not going back."  
  
"Why not? I thought you loved your hometown." Andy stopped pouring the cereal into the Ziploc bag. It shocked Andy that Ephram would ever refuse a trip back to New York. "Are you feelin' ok?" Andy placed the back of his hand on Ephram's forehead pretending to see if he had a fever. "We're talking about New York, here. Not Oklahoma." Andy kidded.  
  
"I know and you heard me right. I don't want to go." Ephram said sternly.  
  
"We've discussed this and you can't back out now. I've already booked the flights and hotel accommodations. I can't return it." Andy said.  
  
"Well, I changed my mind. You can auction my ticket off on ebay or something because I ain't goin'." Ephram argued.  
  
"Ephram, what are you afraid of? Your grandparents know what happened to you and they want to see you. You're going to disappoint them." Andy pressed. Ephram gave a blank look because he really wasn't sure what he was afraid of.  
  
"I don't know." Ephram said lowly.  
  
"If it's because you get nervous riding in cars - I told you that we will rent a car and I will drive us around. Not a problem."  
  
"It's not that."  
  
"Then it's settled - you're going." Andy patted him on the back. "What's the matter?" Andy added when he noticed Ephram acting like he had something he wanted to get off his chest.  
  
"I'm not sure if it's a great idea. Going to New York, I mean." Ephram shrugged.  
  
"Why? Does it have something to do with meeting your friend?"  
  
"No." Ephram spoke too soon making it obvious to Andy that was the reason. "I don't know." Ephram gazed at a cartoon caricature of the Boston Tea Party in his history book.  
  
"That answer's not good enough. You can't hide forever. Just talk to her."  
  
"Maybe I don't want her to know about what happened to me."  
  
"Friendship doesn't work that way. How can you be friends with someone and not talk to the person? How many times has she called you?"  
  
"Just about every day since. She leaves messages to call her back. I haven't returned any of her calls." Ephram mumbled.  
  
"So, in other words - you don't want to be friends with her?" Andy twiddled his thumbs. Ephram didn't give an answer. "If that's the case, then you should let her know. She needs an explanation why you're brushing her aside. She deserves that much." Andy was pretty good with reverse psychology.  
  
The Mission Impossible ringtone rang out again. Andy watched his son stare at the cell phone making no intentions of picking it up.  
  
"This is stupid. I'M going to answer it." Andy snatched the phone off the table before Ephram could prevent his father from doing so.  
  
"No!! Dad! Give it back!!" Ephram hollered desperately.  
  
"Hello? Ephram's phone. Ephram's dad speaking." Andy spoke sincerely after hitting the green call button. Pause. "I'm doing just fine, thank you. And yourself?" Pause. "Good." Pause. "Yea, he's around. Hold on a sec."  
  
Andy held the phone out for Ephram to take it. He waved his hands and mouthed the word "no."  
  
"Talk to her. She won't bite." Andy said in a low tone.  
  
"No dad!" Ephram whispered. Andy shoved the phone in Ephram's ear as he said those words.  
  
"Go on - say hello." Andy forced his son. Ephram shot an evil glance at his father.  
  
"Hello?" Ephram finally muttered into the phone.  
  
"Hey Mr. Intriguingly Cryptic! If I didn't know better, I'd say you were avoiding me!!" The voice on the other end said with an excited squeak. She didn't seem upset that he hadn't returned her calls or answered his phone.  
  
"Hi Jewels. Yea well, I've been kinda busy." Ephram looked solemnly at his legs.  
  
"Oh, but me too!! But I'm so glad I finally got through to you. It's not fun playing phone tag all by myself! How are things?" Jewels said cheerfully.  
  
"I'm ok, I suppose. You?" Ephram replied with no emotion.  
  
"I'm great. Guess what! I got a job! You're talkin' to the new library assistant at my school. How appropriate, huh? Well, it's only for a few hours after school. All I do is put books back on the shelves but it's a job and it pays. So what do ya think?!"  
  
"That's cool." Ephram refrained from saying too much. On the contrary, he had so much to tell her, but he just couldn't bring himself to doing it. His thoughts always circled back to the fact that he's in a wheelchair.  
  
"I'm planning on saving my earnings though. By the time Christmas rolls around, I'll be rich. And you and I can go do something really fun when you get here." She chirped.  
  
"Oh, great." Ephram said in a small voice.  
  
"Brrrrr - I'm feeling the cold shoulder right now. OK, what's wrong? You sound - I dunno - sad. It's not like you to be so un-opinionated." Jewels said catching Ephram's disinterest.  
  
"It's nothing at all."  
  
"What's the matter? Not in a good mood today?"  
  
"There's something I wanted to tell you." Ephram sighed. He decided to just get it over with. "It's about New York - I don't think we should hang out." Ephram continued. The truth was, Ephram couldn't let the only girl he ever had a common bond with see him like this. It would be too humiliating.  
  
"What!! Why not?" Jewels exclaimed.  
  
"It's hard to explain." Ephram felt his eyes starting to water.  
  
"What's hard to explain? Why the sudden change of heart? Was it something I did? I can't think of anything I said that might have upset you."  
  
"No, it's nothing like that. It's definitely not you. It's me." Ephram looked at his father for moral support.  
  
"That's what they all say. You don't like me anymore." Her cheerful tone disappeared.  
  
"No. I didn't mean it that way." Ephram bit his lip from bursting out into tears.  
  
"Then what way do you mean? I don't understand you Ephram."  
  
Pause.  
  
"I think you're the coolest person I know." He began.  
  
"Then why are you breaking our date?"  
  
"It's complicated."  
  
"So! Life is complicated." She blurted. "Something happened. Why don't you just tell me?" She decided.  
  
"Nothing happened."  
  
"Ephram, we both know that I wasn't born yesterday. How gullible do you think I am? I didn't want to mention this before but did it occur to you that we haven't talked in over 3 months? There's a reason you never returned any of my calls or emails. Something's up. Tell me the truth. What's going on?" She was loosing her patience.  
  
"You really want to know? Fine. Then I'll tell you." Ephram's words shook angrily. "I wanted to save you the embarrassment of being seen roaming the streets of New York with a crippled. That's why we cannot hang out. People will stare at you and treat you like you're a freak because they'll see you with a pathetic, handicapped by your side. What will your friends think of you going out with a crippled? They'll point to you and laugh. You'll never hear the end of it. I don't want to do that to you. I know what it's like to be an outcast. I don't want to turn you into one. You don't want to be seen with me. I'm better off alone." He shouted.  
  
"Ephram." Andy interjected as he heard his son blurt out such shrewd words.  
  
"Crippled? What - what are you talking about?" Jewels gasped.  
  
"That's right. I'm crippled. I have my ass in a fucking wheelchair - possibly for the remainder of my worthless life because my legs don't work. How's that for news??" Tears flowed out of his eyes but he held back the sobs.  
  
"Did you say wheelchair?? Oh no!! What happened???" She cried.  
  
"I fell on my back and had complications with the healing spinal contusion I got from the bus accident. The fall made things worse. They told me I could never walk again. Spent about a month in the hospital." Ephram had to pause because it was getting difficult to say whole words without his voice cracking.  
  
"Oh my God! That's horrible!! Are you alright now?" She exhaled. Concern and seriousness was in her voice.  
  
"I'm fine. My pride isn't." He quietly wiped his tears away.  
  
"Geez, I can't believe you never told me." She let the bad news sink in.  
  
"And if I had, then what?" Ephram retorted.  
  
"Umm, I don't know - maybe sent you flowers." She snapped lightly at the cold comment made by Ephram.  
  
"Jewels, I like you. I really like you a lot. You are the first person whom I can ever relate to. No one else has even come close. I don't want to make it an obligation for you to hang out with me now. Not when I'm like this. It wouldn't be right and it'll never work."  
  
"I don't know why you are being so hard on yourself. You automatically assume that no one wants to have anything to do with you. You don't even give people a chance to sympathize."  
  
"No one owes me a damn thing. I don't need sympathy, pity, or charity from anybody." He saw Andy give him a sign of disapproval by shaking his head from side to side.  
  
"Maybe you do - at least in the beginning. You shouldn't shut yourself out like that."  
  
Pause.  
  
"Let me get this straight. You haven't called me because you were afraid if I found out about the wheelchair, you thought I wouldn't want to be your friend anymore. Is that right?" She started talking again after not hearing a word out of Ephram.  
  
"Yea."  
  
"And you're calling off our date because you think you'd be a public disgrace and embarrassment and tarnish my ever growing popularity having anything to do with you - all because of the fact that you're in a wheelchair?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
Pause. Then a loud burst of laughter erupted on the other end of the Ephram's phone.  
  
"What's so funny?" Ephram said crossly to his friend.  
  
"You, Ephram. You!" Jewels shot back humorously. "Did you ever think that I might actually understand what you're going through? I'm not ignorant."  
  
"Wha - what are you saying?" Ephram was confused.  
  
"I'm saying - the reason why I wanted to hang out with you in the first place wasn't because you could walk. There are plenty of other people I could choose from if I was only seeking that quality. I wanted to know you because I saw something fascinating in you. The way you think. The way you see things in a whole new eye. Hell, you could be missing an arm, leg, or nose - I'd still be your friend." She told him.  
  
"Really?" Ephram sounded surprised. "You don't mind me being in a wheelchair?"  
  
"Look, you don't know the true meaning of despair. You have it easy compared to other people. I could sit here all day and tell you stories, but I'll spare you the torture cause, Lord only knows, I hate being nagged too. All I want to say is, when life has dropped you at the bottom of the heap, what do you do? You pick yourself right up again." She spoke with a natural tone like it was coming from experience. "You can't just crawl under some rock and wait to die."  
  
Silence as Ephram absorbed every word.  
  
"Ephram, I think I know you a little more than you think I do. You probably blame yourself for a lot of things that happened to you these past few months. You feel like you have to depend on everyone around you to do simple tasks that you could've done yourself if you were normal. You turn into a hermit staying home all the time because you dissociate yourself from society. You cry a lot and feel like the whole world is caving in on you. I'm willing to bet that all of the above applied to you. Well, does it?" Jewels questioned.  
  
"Yea -" Ephram stammered. He was baffled and astonished that someone whom he'd know in such a short period of time could identify with his affliction.  
  
"Of course it does. And I'll tell you another thing. In the beginning, you refused to allow yourself to believe that you're lame. You nailed the thought in your head that once you got back on your feet, everything's gonna be ok. You didn't believe the doctors when they told you your legs were useless. You believed it was all just a temporary setback. And when you learn that it's practically impossible to fully recover, the rage and fury hits. You hate yourself and those around you - even your loved ones at one point. You become a ball of fire. Once that freezes over, you try making a pact with the higher authority that if you traded something precious you owned, like for example - your life, it would make all your problems go away. Hopelessness consumes you and your emotions take a dive. You're miserable and unhappy all the time. Is this making any sense?" Jewels continued.  
  
"Yes. But - how did you - " Ephram gasped.  
  
"It's called the stages of acceptance, Ephram. It starts with denial, then anger, then bargaining, then depression, and finally, acceptance. It's a hierarchy. You can't surpass one without getting thru the latter. Before you can accept your loss, you will go thru these stages. It's a normal process."  
  
"Ok, who are you really and how did you get into my brain?" Ephram's first stab at humor - more like relief that someone didn't think he was a freak.  
  
"Big Brother's watching." She chortled forcing a laugh out of Ephram. "No seriously, did you think you were the only one in the world going thru a loss?"  
  
"What's that supposed to mean? Did something happen to you?"  
  
"Uh-uh, don't turn the tables around. This is about you, not me. Let's just say I know a thing or two about hitting rock bottom and leave it at that."  
  
"But - " Ephram softened. "It's just that you seem to know so much and the only way you can possible know is if you've been there."  
  
"Experience is a virtue." Jewels replied. Ephram wasn't sure what that meant but he was going to find out one of these days. "Let's not talk about me."  
  
"Look whose calling who intriguingly cryptic." He replied.  
  
"So, are we still on for Christmas?" She asked hoping to change the direction of the conversation.  
  
"That depends. Are we still friends?" Ephram smiled. Andy had been listening to Ephram's side of the conversation from the start and was eager to know if things were ok. Once he saw from the smile on his son's face, he knew it was going well. Andy tapped lightly on the table getting Ephram's attention. He then gave a thumbs-up with a questioning look on his face. Ephram smiled back at his father and returned a thumbs-up.  
  
"Always have been." Jewels replied with confidence. "Well then, I guess rollerblading and indoor rock climbing is out of the question." Jewels sighed. "But don't worry, I have a plan B."  
  
"Plan B?"  
  
"Yea. How about we get highlights in our hair? It'll be fun - I can do your hair and you can do mine. I know the colorist who works at a salon in Chelsea and she'll let us work on each other's hair. I'm thinking purple, because I had red last time." She offered. Ephram laughed. "Then we can go to Lazarra's for lunch. Remember Lazarra's on Bleecker Street in the village? My God, they have the best pizza on earth."  
  
"Sure, I remember Lazarra's. They're the best. I miss sinking my teeth into a slice of their Hawaiian pizza." Ephram reminisced. "People in Everwood don't know how to make pizza."  
  
"I heard the Hayden Planetarium has a new dome IMAX theater that's supposed to be really cool. I've been meaning to go see it. Haven't gone there since the first grade. Maybe we can go check it out." Jewels suggested. "Oh, and we can go see Rent."  
  
"Rent? Didn't you already see that show?"  
  
"Yea twice, but not with you I haven't. Good company makes all the difference."  
  
"Oh." He said calmly. It was a good thing Ephram had his phone to hide behind because a pink blush was developing on his temples and cheeks.  
  
"My favorite part is when Collins does his solo 'A Thousand Sweet Kisses' in the scene right after Angel dies. It's so emotional. I cry all the time."  
  
"Are you sure you don't mind me being in a wheelchair? I'm a big inconvenience - letting you know in advance." Ephram needed a self-esteem boost.  
  
"Tsk, man! Are you worried that I'll be taller than you for a change and it'll look funny when the girl is taller than the guy?? I promise I won't wear heels, happy now?" She chuckled.  
  
"Yea, I'll be four feet tall forever." He said lightly. "And add 50 pounds to my total weight every year. I think my wheelchair weighs about 50 pounds."  
  
"Tell me how you ended up in a wheelchair." Her sensitive tone told Ephram that she really cared to know. "You've told me about the bus accident and all but there's got to be more to it than just an additional fall to make you end up in a wheelchair."  
  
"It wasn't just the fall. I was stupid not to tell anyone that I was having other health problems until it was too late. I had something called a deep vein -" Ephram looked at his father for assistance. Andy mouthed and whispered the term 'Thrombosis'. "Uh - trombone-sis and a - " Ephram mispronounced the word and squinted at his father to get the next word. "Pul-pulmonary -" Ephram tried to read his father's lips of the word 'Embolism'. "Pulmonary embalm-mism." Ephram said. It came out sounding like a question than a fact.  
  
Andy didn't know whether to laugh or correct his son's error in pronunciation. "Yea, if you're going to preserve a dead trombone." Andy said while slapping his forehead with the base of his hand.  
  
"I dunno, whatever. It's a blood clot. I had one in the lungs and one in my left leg. My leg swelled up to twice its normal size. It was nasty!" Ephram said into his phone ignoring his father's comment.  
  
"Must've been awful." Jewels cringed.  
  
"They said the blood clot had something to do with the initial injuries I had. It was pretty intense. But the bad got worst when I fell. The pain was a bitch - I thought I was going to die. I'm just full of problems, you know."  
  
"Where were you when you fell?" She asked with concern. "You weren't by yourself, were you?"  
  
"We were at a town fair that day and Delia was with me when I fell. I think she was more scared than I was. But I was in so much pain that when I tried to open my mouth to speak, no sound came out." Ephram explained. "Oh!! Remember that shirt you got me - the one with Snafu on it? I was wearing that shirt that day and after the paramedics rolled me into the emergency room, they had to cut it up. I'm sorry they had to ruin your gift like that. Hope you're not mad." He continued.  
  
"Mad? Why would I be mad? Geez Louise. Ephram, they cut up that shirt to save your life. The shirt means nothing when there's no you to wear it!! A shirt can be replaced, you can't." She lectured.  
  
"Thanks." He said after a while.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For understanding me."  
  
"No sweat."  
  
Andy left the dining room with the bag of Cocoa Puffs and empty salad bowl allowing Ephram to have some privacy on the phone. He disappeared into the kitchen so Ephram wouldn't think he was eavesdropping on the conversation. Andy couldn't help but be slightly curious on the dialogue between Ephram and his friend. Occasionally straining an ear to hear what Ephram was saying, Andy decided to make a fresh pot of coffee. He had no idea what he was going to do with another pot of coffee, but he had to preoccupy himself with something in the kitchen. He'll call Nina over later to help drink it.  
  
Andy smiled to himself when he heard Ephram's voice grow with animation as he gushed about places and moments in New York. Andy took out two mugs from the cupboard above the sink and placed it on the kitchen island. He then took out napkins, a plate, and a pack of chocolate biscotti from another cabinet. He made as much noise as possible with closing the cabinet doors to deter any suspicion from Ephram that he was eavesdropping. Every now and then, Andy stood still to hear what subject Ephram was on. He was most attentive when he heard Ephram talk about the events that lead up to the wheelchair and rehab. The only parts Ephram skipped were the suicidal parts. He answered all the questions that were asked of him in detail. It broke Andy's heart to hear his son retell the pain and frustration he had to endure. But on the other hand, it was a positive thing that Ephram was talking to someone. He was finally reaching out.  
  
It had been a long time since Ephram had real contact with the outside. Ever since his release from the hospital, his world only consisted of Andy, Nina, Delia, and Sam. He swore he didn't need anyone else. But he was wrong. He needed everyone. Ephram emerged out of the dark merciless waters of despair that had innocently swallowed him. Each time he poked his head through the freezing water to get a breath of air, he only got dragged down twice as hard. He was cold, frightened and drowning. He waited and waited for someone to throw him a lifeline and pull him out of the darkness and into warmth, peace and safety. Ephram's laughter echoed the walls of his dining room as he and his friend spoke on the phone for hours. Jewels was his life preserver.  
  
* end of chapter 8 *  
  
Author's Note: Thanks so much for reading!! The next and final chapter of this story is in the works. 


	9. Beating The Odds

(Sorry it took so long to get this chapter posted! I've been on vacation! Hope this long chapter makes up for my pause. And without further interruption, I present the conclusion to Rising From The Ashes.)  
  
Chapter 9: Beating The Odds  
  
This was the day. No one knew this except for Ephram. Andy suspected nothing. Nina was clueless. Delia and Sam were too young to realize any of the signs. It was supposed to be a routine day - like any given day of the week. Nobody could've expected this. He was going to pull a fast one over them. They wouldn't know what hit them. The timer in our little unpredictable ticking time bomb's complex mind was set to go off promptly at 10:30 am. That would be the time they would all know. The thought did occur to him that he may fail at his attempt but he had to try anyway. No pain, no gain. He promised himself not to feel disappointed if he should fail. He would try again and again until he succeeded. There was no stopping his determination.  
  
A month had passed since the bridge incident. All it took was time for the vivid memories of that day to blur and fade into black, or so Ephram hoped. With Thanksgiving just around the bend, it was the perfect diversion. People were distracted and took little notice of what was going on with the boy in the iGlide. Holidays were always a big deal in Everwood. November was the time for organizing parties, preparing family outings, planning vacation getaways, and an excuse for more festivals than you can count. It was the only time of year Everwood really came alive with bustling activity. This year, even the Brown's were exceptionally thrilled with the approaching holidays.  
  
For Andy, things were finally going well with his family. He was happy to see his son getting better and acting feistier each day. And Delia was his sunshine spirit on those depressing rainy days when the darkness became a little too overbearing for Andy. Andy felt lucky to have a strong-willed Delia to be the crazy glue to put the pieces together when the chips were down. She had an endless supply of hugs for everyone - even Sam. The love he had for his children was immense. When Delia or Ephram was sick or hurt, he secretly suffered along with them - in body and soul. His heart ached and his mind grieved. Nothing meant more to Andy than the well-being of his children. They were not just necessary fragments of his life. They were the center of his life and held the key to his heart. He was willing to sacrifice everything he had for them.  
  
For Delia, she just naturally loved the holidays. She was daddy's little half pint jumping bean munchkin. Though, underneath all her silly bubbly cartoon-like adrenaline, she held her family close to her heart. Delia was glad her father and brother were safe, alive and healthy. Losing her mother proved to be unbearable and almost losing her brother too made her realize how easy it was for a life to be taken away. Delia loved her family and wasn't shy of showing it.  
  
For Ephram, it was especially exciting because he had a secret plan of his own - one which would be revealed soon enough.  
  
"Ephram, are you ready to go?" Andy called as he stormed into the living room busily trying to strap his watch onto his wrist.  
  
"Way ahead of you." Ephram replied as he dangled Andy's car keys in his hand.  
  
Andy was surprised to see Ephram more ready than he was for a change. Ephram was bundled up in his black North Face down jacket with his wool scarf wrapped around his neck several times and the ends neatly tucked into the front of his coat. A few tufts of black hair sneaked out of the black knit ski hat he sported on his head.  
  
"That was quick. Somebody is anxious to get rehab over with this morning." Andy said admiring his son's readiness to brave into the cold.  
  
"Don't you think I could put my coat on by myself?" Ephram snickered. Andy threw his long wool coat across his broad shoulders as he yelled for Delia to hurry up.  
  
"Oh, I never doubted that. It's just that I didn't expect you to be ready so fast." Andy fought with his coat sleeve. "You're usually sluggish on a Saturday morning."  
  
"Nina's coming too, isn't she?" Ephram asked anxiously.  
  
"Yea. She and Sam will be riding with us. She says she'll be waiting on her porch any second now." Andy checked his Rolex watch. "Delia!! Sweetie!! Where are you?" His voice echoed slightly in the hallway.  
  
Suddenly, a pounding of small feet thudded down the stairs in a hurried fashion.  
  
"I'm here daddy!" Delia appeared at the corridor in a pink and purple sweater with dark denim jeans, purple leg warmers, and boots.  
  
"Good. Now, we better get going or we're going to be late for Ephram's physical therapy session." Andy said while he helped Delia with her coat.  
  
"And then we're going to our usual place??" Delia squealed in excitement. "The IHOP?" Her eyes lit up like two big lanterns. She licked her lips to the thought of pancakes stacked a mile high into the sky and drenched with maple syrup.  
  
International House of Pancakes was undoubtedly Delia's favorite restaurant mainly because there were no IHOPs in busy cities like Manhattan. She'd never been to one until the Brown's moved to suburban Colorado. Her first experience at an IHOP was during a road trip to Colorado Springs with her father and brother about a year ago. They made a pit stop somewhere along interstate 70. It was late into the night and the only place opened was an IHOP. The waiters thought Delia was so cute that they brought her a free ice cream cone after her meal. It was a different atmosphere and the portions were bigger than she can finish. Seeing how happy it made Delia to visit this restaurant, Andy turned it into their Saturday ritual to have lunch at an IHOP.  
  
"Sure thing, sweetheart." Andy laughed. He zipped Delia's coat up and tied her multi-colored scarf around her neck making sure she was bundled up properly before going out. "Why don't you go round up Nina and Sam, kiddo?" He patted her on the head.  
  
Delia jogged merrily out the front door leaving Andy and Ephram alone.  
  
"Dad - think fast." Ephram said as he carelessly tossed the set of car keys at his father without warning.  
  
"Thanks." Andy replied catching the car keys in mid-air.  
  
"Nice catch!" Ephram complimented.  
  
"I may be old, but I still have reflexes like a cat." Andy boasted.  
  
Ephram paused for a second like as if he had something to say then he grabbed the handrim of his wheelchair and proceeded to maneuver himself towards the back door.  
  
"Something on your mind?" Andy asked walking with him.  
  
"Nope. Nothing at all." Ephram replied carefully and reached for the doorknob.  
  
"Hmm. You seem - I don't know - different today." Andy eyed his son dubiously trying to see through him. Ephram had always been an enigma to Andy. Just when he thought he had him all figured out, Ephram throws him a curveball and sets him back to square one. He watched Ephram wheel himself out the door.  
  
"Oh. Yea, that's probably because I'm wearing my new hat." Ephram chuckled.  
  
"Very funny. I'm onto you Ephram Brown." Andy teased.  
  
Ephram didn't want anyone to have the slightest notion of his devious plan. He wanted it to come as a complete surprise to everyone. There will be no hints or signs to give it all away. It took too much advanced planning for him to screw it up now.  
  
The ride to the Therapy and Rehabilitation Center was quiet except for a few mumbled outbursts from Delia and Sam who were engulfed in an intricate discussion about Pokemon characters. To the adults and Ephram, it sounded like a foreign language. It wasn't like they weren't the least bit interested or never tried to understand it. Parents were encouraged to be involved in their children's interests - even if it was a cartoon. Sam and Delia explained several times the purpose of becoming a Pokemon master but the adult mind was too straight-forward to accept it. Andy and Nina often joked with each other saying they needed to take Remedial Pokemon 101, in which they'd fail anyway. Andy even admitted that it could very well be harder than brain surgery. It tired their brains too much to try and comprehend it all so they gave up. They came to the conclusion that Pokemon had to be some sort of secret code that kids shared amongst themselves.  
  
Andy and Nina tried to keep things on a calmer side for Ephram's sake even though it was quite apparent that there were improvements in Ephram's ability to ride in the car without going into hysterics. Of course, occasionally hitting unavoidable potholes in the streets still harrowed Ephram's nerves. But at least the uncontrollable shakes and cold sweat had diminished. The meditation and power of drugs helped him a great deal. Andy shot worried glances over at his son to make sure he was alright. Ephram had his eyes closed and appeared to be dozing peacefully.  
  
The silence gave Andy a lot of time to reflect on his son for the passed few weeks. Andy could never erase the bridge incident from his memory no matter how hard he tried. It was one of the most frightening experiences he had ever endured. He kept his word to Ephram on keeping it a secret. But sometimes, he wondered if he should have talked about it at all. His loyalty and hindrance of betrayal to Ephram forced him to abide by his promise. If he hadn't been Ephram's guiding hand that day, the boy really would've done something regretful. It was too close. Ephram, however, treated the incident like it never happened. He didn't find it necessary to reiterate the fact that it was an attempted suicide regardless of the degree of success. This thought nagged at Andy's conscience.  
  
It was evident that Ephram appeared happier and healthier now than compared to a few months ago. He started talking to his friends again. Amy and Colin proved to be great influences in his healing process. They came over for short visits every so often and watched TV or played video games together. Ephram got his mischievous streak back and often challenged Andy but Andy always let him have the last word in the argument. From the way things were going, he found it quite difficult to come down too hard on the kid. Delia, however, was still Ephram's weak spot. It shocked Andy to come home one afternoon and find Delia and Ephram out in the front lawn tossing an old baseball around among the mounds of fallen leaves. It was Ephram's very first crack at participating in a fun activity after being wheelchair bound. Ephram was never into sports, this much Andy knew. It was like pulling teeth to get Ephram to try anything active. Andy stood on the side of the porch with a mug of hot cider in his hands. He watched Ephram and Delia hooting and yelling gaily as they tossed that dusty, busting-at-the- seams baseball back and forth. Andy was very satisfied. He remembered standing in that spot for an hour just silently admiring his kids.  
  
Only one thing worried Andy. Ephram had been napping more frequently than he ought to. Andy convinced himself that it was because of the excess homework and physical activity that put a toll on his son's mind and body. The boy needed sleep to replenish and recharge his energy. But he couldn't help but think something wasn't right - especially when Ephram was sleeping more than Delia. Some days, Ephram was so zapped of energy that he needed to take two naps a day. On a few occasions, Andy found Ephram curled up comfortably on the couch napping away before noon. And on each of those occasions, Andy ended up tucking a blanket over the sleeping boy. He couldn't figure out why his son was so beat. In the beginning, he cut the kid some slack and allowed him to rest up for as long as he needed because of his condition. But for him to be sleeping this much now, it just seemed abnormal. Andy thought perhaps he was pushing the boy too hard on making up the schoolwork and exercise. Maybe the stress had been too overbearing for the boy. Andy will have Ephram slow down on the homework and workout regime. He also made a mental note to schedule a routine check-up appointment for Ephram at the hospital - to be on the safe side.  
  
Andy briefly took his attention away from the road and looked over at the sleeping Ephram again. The boy had a healthy glow on his cheeks, which contradicted with the traces of dark circles under his eyes. The circles were hardly noticeable but they were nonetheless, present. Andy thought about sending his son back to school now that things were better, but Ephram had to be mentally ready - that, he was not so sure of. He decided to wait and send Ephram back to school after the New Year.  
  
Delia and Sam were now quietly chatting about what they were going to order when they got to the IHOP. Andy listened to the calming drone of small voices for a while. He caught a glimpse of Nina's pretty face in the rear view mirror. Her troubled gaze was fixed on passing scenery. He often wondered what she was thinking. Chances are, it was Ephram. They were all worried about him.  
  
Andy pulled into the Everwood Therapy and Rehabilitation center. Except for a few scattered vehicles, the parking lot was fairly empty. The people of Everwood usually aren't up and about until at least noon on Saturdays. Andy pretty much had the parking space of his choice. He chose a nice convenient space right in front of the entrance to the building. As soon as he turned off the ignition and popped open the trunk, the kids and Nina exit the vehicle. They went around the back of the car to help with getting Ephram's wheelchair out.  
  
"Ok Ephram." Andy shook the boy's shoulder to rouse him from his slumber. "Wake up."  
  
Ephram woke from his sleep with a start. Still drowsy from his nap, he shut his eyes and involuntarily threw his arms up to protect his face to brace himself for the impact. He nearly jabbed a right hook at his father in the process. For a moment, his heart pounded in his mouth and he forgot where he was. He mumbled something incoherently.  
  
"Ephram. It's ok. We've arrived." Andy still had his hands on Ephram's shoulders. Ephram opened his eyes one by one and looked around nervously. He swore his father could hear his heart pumping blood through his body a thousand miles an hour.  
  
"Huh? Oh. Right." Ephram breathed a quivered sigh of relief and tried to sound calm even though his chest hurt from the scare.  
  
"I didn't mean to scare you like that." Andy said with a guilty look on his face.  
  
"It's nothing. I'm fine." Ephram swallowed. "I didn't hit you, did I?" He asked sheepishly gaining his composure again.  
  
"Hit me?? You almost broke my nose, Muhammed Ali!" Andy kidded as he playfully pulled down the front of Ephram's knit hat covering his eyes.  
  
"Da-ad!!" Ephram whined while pushing up his hat back up on his forehead. He had just one thing on his mind - getting even with his father for that hat stunt. Boy was he in for a surprise. He had a trick or two up his sleeve. He obediently allowed his father help him into the wheelchair.  
  
Andy offered to push Ephram into the building but he refused. He wanted people to see him as an independent and not as the spoiled handicapped who can't even wheel himself to where he wanted to go. They entered the building lobby.  
  
"Ephram Brown. Ten O'clock session with Marla Samson." Andy said to the pretty young receptionist behind the massive front desk. She smiled and her fingers pecked quickly at the keyboard before her.  
  
"OK. Hmm, looks like Marla is having this session in the gym today." She stated as she read off her computer screen. "Go down the hall passed the waiting area, make a left, it's the first door your right." The receptionist instructed. "I'll let Marla know you've arrived."  
  
Andy thanked her and the party of five continued down the hall. They entered the waiting area and took off their coats.  
  
"I want you guys to come in with me." Ephram demanded as he removed his coat and winter gear to reveal a gray sweatshirt.  
  
"Why? You've always gone in by yourself." Andy was drawn back by Ephram's sudden need for him to be present at his therapy session.  
  
"I don't know. I need your moral support, I guess." A sly smile formed on his lips.  
  
"Moral support? Wasn't it you in the beginning who said you wanted to go to the sessions un-chaperoned because you didn't want me to embarrass you in front of Marla?" Andy quipped. "Hmm, let's see, what was the word you used to describe me - ah, now it's coming back to me - it was the term 'dweeb'." Andy rubbed his bearded chin.  
  
"I didn't mean to call you a dweeb. You're cool, dad. Really - you are." Ephram tried to redeem himself. Andy laughed.  
  
"Ephram, I trust you can handle things by yourself. We will wait out here like the usual Saturday sessions." Andy decided.  
  
'No, no, no. My plan will never work if you all stay out here.' Ephram's mind fretted. Afraid his plan might be thrown out the window, he had to switch on the waterworks and guilt trip mode. It seemed to work every time.  
  
"Aw, please come. Please?" Ephram said making sad, glassy puppy eyes. "Have some pity for the kid in the wheelchair. I only want you to come in with me. I don't ask for much." He tried to look pathetic with his hands grabbing the handrim of the wheelchair and looking up at the adults with his pensive watery greenish gray eyes. After alternating glances from Nina to Andy, he looked down at his knees and mumbled in a low tone practically on the verge of tears, "Don't you care about me anymore? I -I just wanna be loved."  
  
"Sweetheart, don't be like that. Of course I'll come with you." Nina fussed taking Ephram seriously. "We'll all come. Isn't that right, Andy?" She eyed Andy.  
  
"Oh, alright. Before he gets deeper into this 'woe is me' scene." Andy gave in. He always knew when Ephram was being overly dramatic just to get what he wanted. It was extra easy now that he's confined to a wheelchair.  
  
"Andy! What a thing to say!" Nina shouted with a hint of disappointment. "Don't cry, sweetie. OK?" Nina cooed at Ephram as she raised his chin up with her fingers.  
  
"Yes! Ok, let's go!" Ephram exclaimed in pure excitement. In a blink of an eye, his sad facial expression changed into one of animated mirth leaving Nina dumbfounded. He wheeled himself down the hall in a hurry with Delia and Sam skipping by his side.  
  
"I can't believe you fell for that." Andy said shaking his head at Nina.  
  
"Well, who wouldn't? Except you." Nina shrugged.  
  
"Are you guys coming or not?" Ephram called from down the hall.  
  
"We're coming. Hold your horses." Andy called back.  
  
"What's going on with him?" Nina asked perplexed at Ephram's giddiness.  
  
"I haven't the foggiest idea. But one thing's for sure, he's up to something." Andy replied as they walked to the gym. "And I'm going to find out."  
  
The tidy gym was a spacious room with gray carpeting and white walls. The Venetian blinds on the windows were pulled up exposing the room to an endless source of sunlight. The plainly decorated room held a variety of big and intimidating rehabilitation equipment and apparatus. Against one side of the room were towering stationary metal contraptions used to strengthen different parts of the upper and the lower body. It included everything from pulleys to rowing machines to Ergometers to gliders to exercise bikes to steppers and treadmills. On the opposite side were portable mechanisms such as balance and quadriceps boards, and shuttle slides to assist in range of movement and muscle stretching.  
  
As Andy and Nina stepped thru the oak doors, they realized the room was empty. Apparently, Ephram had the whole gym to himself this morning. Delia and Sam found a budding interest with the huge multi-colored exercise balls of various sizes in the rear of the gym where the workout mats, free weights, bolsters and tumble form wedges were located.  
  
"Mommy look! It's a giant ball!!" Sam hollered as he attempted to lift a red one up.  
  
"Yes baby, it is. It's bigger than you, my dear." Nina laughed as she hugged her son from the back.  
  
"Wow, look at this!!" Delia exclaimed after displaying her findings in her arms. She found a smaller blue exercise ball that resembled a globe with the continents etched onto the nylon. "This is so cool!"  
  
"She's got the whole world in her hands. Hey, she's got the whole wide world in her hands - " Ephram sang sarcastically forcing laughs out of everyone in the room.  
  
"Hello. I see we are all here." A friendly voice from the doorway prompted everyone to turn around.  
  
It was Marla Samson, Ephram's physical therapist. She was a tall and thin woman in her late forties with short bouncy dark brown hair. Her temperament was one of a most amiable nature, hence giving her a grandmotherly disposition. She wore the usual light blue uniform with white Easy Spirit sneakers. A picture ID tag was clipped to her breast pocket.  
  
"Dr. Brown, nice to see you again. Hello, Nina." Marla greeted the adults with a smile and a firm handshake. "I see your little ones are fascinated with our exercise balls." She nodded to the children playing merrily.  
  
"Kids." Andy sighed. "It doesn't take much to get them excited."  
  
"Well, hello Ephram." She turned her attention to the boy. "How are you today?"  
  
"I'm doing ok." Ephram answered.  
  
"Good. Shall we get started then?" Marla smiled showing her big white teeth. Ephram nodded anxiously.  
  
Andy, Nina and the kids were seated on metal foldable chairs where they watched Marla help Ephram out of the wheelchair and onto the padded workout table. Everything was routine. Ephram did his preliminary stretches. Marla assisted in extending and bending his knees and ankles. Then she had Ephram lie flat on his back and went through a series of combination hip and knee rolls. Afterwards, Marla helped Ephram back into his wheelchair. She kneeled down to face him at eye level.  
  
"So, kid. You ready to do this?" Marla gave him a wink.  
  
"Ready as I'll ever be." He replied and surveyed the scene across the room.  
  
Ephram saw the question marks on his father's face. Paying close attention to the whispered conversation between Ephram and Marla, Andy wished he could hear what they were saying. He wondered why the session had come to an end so quickly. Delia was seated next to Andy being reticent and attentive. She rested her chin on Andy's chest with an arm folded around his waist. Andy had an arm around her tiny shoulders. Nina sat in the third seat with a firm grip on Sam, who was sitting on her lap. She sneaked playful kisses on the back of her son's head. Sam was preoccupied with twirling a lock of Nina's long hair in his fingers.  
  
Marla gestured for the seated parties to come forth. Clueless on the secret, they snapped out of their thoughts and approached Marla.  
  
"Is the session over already?" Andy spoke as he checked his watch. "It's only ten thirty. Is something wrong? Ephram, are you alright? "  
  
"Everything's fine. We're almost done for the day." Marla reassured him. "We stopped because Ephram has something he wants to show all of you." She continued. All eyes shifted to Ephram.  
  
"Don't worry, it's nothing bad. Trust me." Ephram said feeling their skepticism.  
  
"If you guys would stand right by the mirror over there, we can get begin." Marla pointed. Andy, Nina, Delia and Sam took their places as their eyes followed Marla pushing Ephram in his wheelchair and parking it right in front of the parallel bars.  
  
Andy and Nina looked at each other in bafflement wondering what was going on. Marla grinned at the bewildered adults and whispered a few words into Ephram's ear. He smiled and nodded.  
  
"I think they've been kept in the dark long enough, huh Ephram?" Marla put her hands on her hips surveying the puzzled adults and children before her.  
  
"Yep." Ephram responded.  
  
"Today, we are going to try something different. We are going to use these parallel bars." Marla presented. "I'm sure you all know what these parallel bars are for." She hinted.  
  
"Marla, are you sure he's ready for this?" Andy suddenly realized what was about to happen. He remembered the last time Ephram attempted an impossible task. And when he failed, it almost cost him his life.  
  
"He is." Marla indicated. "He's a lot stronger than you think."  
  
"I don't know about this Andy." Nina said nervously. The thought of catching Ephram in suicidal mode again didn't strike her as the least bit comforting.  
  
"Relax. I know you both are worried about him but I'm his therapist and I wouldn't allow him to do this if I didn't think he was ready." Marla reassured them. She turned to Ephram. "You can do this. I know you can." She beamed.  
  
Ephram placed his hands on Marla's shoulder as she lifted him out of his wheelchair. He planted his socked feet securely on the floor and grabbed onto the two wooden bars - one hand on each bar. He waited for his knees to get used to his weight before telling Marla to let go of his waist.  
  
"OK Marla. You could let go now. I got it." Ephram grunted.  
  
"Sure?" Marla questioned.  
  
"Yea. Positive." Ephram breathed as Marla slowly released her grasp of the boy's waist.  
  
And there, Ephram stood holding onto the bars with his fingers tightly clutching onto the bars. His arm muscles shook for a few seconds then stabled out. He scoped out the room and saw the apprehensive look on his loved ones' faces.  
  
"Ok Ephram. Slowly now. Take your time." Marla coached patiently. She stood beside him on the outside of the parallel bars just in case he needed help. Just standing on his own is a big effort for Ephram. He had to use his upper body muscles as well as his leg muscles. It was tiring for a boy in his condition. He grunted and puffed as he used his arms to steady himself.  
  
Ephram shifted his attention back to his feet. He stared at his thick bleached white cotton crew socks at the hem of his black Nike sweatpants. He took a few breaths and stayed silent for a minute. No one knew if he was actually giving himself a pep talk or praying that he wouldn't fall. Regardless of the outcome, the little timer on our ticking time bomb has gone off. He will walk again - if not today, then one of these days he will. He's found the strength to believe in himself.  
  
Like a new fawn learning to stand up on his own thin wobbly legs and take its first stride in the world, Ephram put his right foot forward and took his first step. Then he took another and another after that. They were small tiny steps, hardly in a walking pace but he was headed in the right direction. His feet dragged a little but that was ok. Surprising even himself, he was walking and that's all that mattered.  
  
"Oh My God!" Delia yelled. "Ephram's walking!! Daddy, Daddy!! Do you see that???? He's really walking!!!!" She shouted as the little flames in her eyes danced with a wild frenzy.  
  
"Oh Ephram." Andy mumbled over and over again in pure shock. He had tears in his eyes at the sight of his son being able to walk again. He looked at Nina, who was already way ahead of him in tears. She slid her hand around the crook of Andy's arm. He accepted her hand and laughed wholeheartedly with happy tears spewing out of his eyes. Ephram stopped to witness the expressions on his family's faces.  
  
"Surprise!" Ephram panted breathlessly. He cracked a tired smile but hid the weariness quite well.  
  
Ephram wanted to finish walking the length of the wooden bars. But somewhere about half way through the bars, Ephram's knees got weak causing him to stagger. He lurched at the bars to steady himself. Even his arms seemed to have weakened tremendously as he groped at the bars to hold him up. His arms slid down further and further. He was barely propped up when his armpits finally hit the wooden bars. That hurt like hell - he was surprised he didn't dislocate his shoulders in the process. Silently cussing, he hung there for a moment trying to decide on his next move. The muscles in his legs did not obey him. Andy approached to help Ephram.  
  
"Wait, let him try." Marla said touching Andy's arm. He stopped in his tracks front of Ephram.  
  
"No dad. I can do this." Ephram croaked as he hung onto the poles with his armpits. His father's troubled face was etched with worry and distress but Ephram wanted a triumph - he wanted to rekindle his extinguished pride.  
  
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Andy replied holding out his arms hesitating to grab his son.  
  
"Yea." Ephram nodded with tiny clear dots of sweat forming on his forehead and nose.  
  
He had to pause for a breather before his next attempt. All this vigorous exercise was extremely taxing for the boy but he had to try - nothing ventured, nothing gained. Ephram struggled to command his knees to straighten out so he could gain his footing. Finally, his right foot obeyed and found its strength to set itself onto the thick blue mat first, then his left foot followed momentarily. With every last ounce of energy he could muster up, he dragged his legs up and grabbed for the wooden bars with wet clammy hands.  
  
Andy watched on passively with a nervous eye as his son huffed and puffed at a task where most people find it effortless to accomplish - standing up. He hated seeing his son exerting himself so painfully. He wanted so much to assist and relieve him of this torment.  
  
"Be careful!!" Nina piped noticing the strain Ephram put on himself. Sam was hugging Nina's knees and burying his face into the folds of her khaki trousers.  
  
"God, it's like dealing with two gummy worms for legs here." Ephram said in jest. He then managed to pull his legs up to standing position. "There we go. I'm back." He added.  
  
Andy stood at the end of the parallel bars ready to receive Ephram when he finished walking the length of the bars.  
  
"Take your time. Take your time." Marla kept saying. "Don't rush it. Take a rest if you have to."  
  
"I don't need a rest. I'm going to finish what I started." The boy grunted in labored breaths. He wished he could wipe the accumulating sweat off his brow.  
  
Ephram concentrated on picking up his left foot a few inches above the mat and took his next step. He continued his slow journey to the end of the wooden bars all the while glancing over at his loved ones for support and approval. Andy had a look of exuberance and encouragement. Nina's expression was a mixture of pleased, emotional, worried, excited, and supportive - but mostly worried. She didn't enjoy watching the poor kid suffer. Each time he suffered any physical or mental pain, it took a chunk out of her heart but she tried to not let it show. The children were his personal cheerleading squad. Sam clapped and bounced up and down at the glorious sight. Delia was the happiest of all. Her dancing eyes, rosy cheeks and delicate pink lips radiated her innocence and charm. Andy had the talk with her months ago explaining why Ephram had lost the use of his legs and how it may be possible that her brother may never walk again. And she understood. But now, she saw Ephram standing and walking before her very eyes. It was a miracle.  
  
"Just a little more. That's it. Easy now." Andy muttered under his breath. His eyes were glued to his son's feet making indentations on the mat at snail's pace. The boy was now almost drenched in perspiration. His short black hair glistened as the sweat penetrated thru his scalp and plastered some of his bangs to his forehead. His breathing became heavier and arms shook with every grip on the wooden bars.  
  
On the verge of collapsing from exhaustion, Ephram shifted his attention away from his feet and focused straight ahead to where his father stood with open arms at the end of the parallel bars. He was almost there. The more Ephram stared at his feet, the slower he seemed to walk. Just when he couldn't go any further, he stumbled on the last three steps and fell directly into his father's arms. Andy caught his son around the waist and lifted him up into a bear hug.  
  
"You did it, son! You did it!! I'm so proud of you!" Andy raved with tears in his eyes.  
  
"Dad! See, I can walk!! I can really walk!" Ephram panted trying to catch his breath. He had clasped both arms around his Andy's neck and rested his right cheek tiredly against his father's ear. He felt like he'd just ran a marathon.  
  
"Your heart is beating faster than a rabbit's." Andy noted as felt the loud thumping of his son's heart against his chest.  
  
"You've been holding out on us." Nina wiped her eyes.  
  
"Sorry. I didn't want to let you guys know until I was sure I could do it." He said in choppy pauses while inhaling air.  
  
"How long have you known?" Andy questioned looking at Marla.  
  
"Oh, I would say about 2 weeks ago." Marla joined in and smiled. "I wanted to tell you about the breakthrough, but Ephram wanted to surprise you."  
  
"I've been practicing everyday - right under your nose, dad! You suspected nothing!!" Ephram giggled.  
  
"Aren't you the sneaky one." Andy hugged his son even more. "That explains why you've been so tired all the time."  
  
"And had us worried sick." Nina scolded happily. She rubbed Ephram's back.  
  
"Two weeks, huh?" Andy released his tight grasp on Ephram slightly.  
  
"Whoa, dad. Don't let go of me. I'm gonna fall if you do." Ephram said as a precaution. His soft, socked toes trampled lightly all over the top of Andy's shoes as his feet fumbled to gain proper footing.  
  
"Don't worry, I gotcha. I won't let you fall." Andy tightened his hold on the boy's waist.  
  
Delia threw her arms around Ephram in a hug sandwiching him between her and her father. Her height came up to Ephram's waist. She was small but she packed in quite a hug. Sam followed Delia and threw his arms around the already hugging trio. Shortly after, Nina joined in as well.  
  
"Group hug. C'mon Marla. You're in this too." Andy beckoned comically with a welcoming hand. Marla accepted the invitation. "There we go. We all love Ephram." Andy added. With Ephram being in the core of the embrace, he rocked the human ball of hugs back and forth for a while.  
  
"Stop hugging me so tight you guys. I can't breath." Ephram mumbled into Andy's shirt. "You're squishing me." He whined and faked a cough.  
  
"Oh that's right. We better not accidentally smother our respected hero to death with too much love and affection at one time." Andy joked and ruffled the back of Ephram's semi-wet hair. The others released their hugs reluctantly. Andy scooped Ephram up in his arms and placed him back in his iGlide.  
  
"I still can't believe you kept it all a secret from us." Nina said to Ephram.  
  
"Believe me, it wasn't easy sneaking around you people." Ephram wheeled himself to the door grabbing his sneakers. "One time, I almost fell flat on my face. My legs were in one of those I-don't-wanna-budge moods that day. But it was a good thing you guys weren't there to see that one. It was just down right embarrassing if you ask me." Ephram chattered excitedly to anyone who would listen as he put on his shoes. He watched the wide-eyed faces of his audience.  
  
"Yea, and another time, I lost control of the muscles in my calf and ankles. I dropped to my knees. So there I was, sitting on my heels and had no idea how I was going to get back up. I was a fish out of water. It was funny. Marla can vouch for it." Ephram rambled as he finished tying his shoelaces.  
  
Andy watched them herd out the door. He loitered behind and pulled Marla aside.  
  
"So, Ephram's doing well, I take it." Andy said in a low but serious tone.  
  
"You've got one strong-willed kid there. I don't think he could do worse. It's full speed ahead at this point." Marla dug her hands into the patch pockets of her uniform.  
  
"And what's his prognosis?" Andy kept a firm voice.  
  
"Oh, you mean will he ever walk again. Well, considering the progress he's made so far - you know, Andy, there is a degree of uncertainty that surrounds this whole issue." Marla stopped herself short. "I don't want to make broken promises and get everyone's hope's up."  
  
"I understand. All I want is the truth." Andy said.  
  
"Ephram is a wonderful child. You are very fortunate." She began. "He's one of the most determined and remarkable patients I've ever worked with. He kinda reminds me of the little 'I think I can, I think I can' choo-choo train going up the hill. Giving up is just not in his vocabulary, is it?" Marla raved. Andy laughed and smiled neither agreeing nor disagreeing with her comment.  
  
"Giving up" was an understatement. It was unconceivable how much emotional torture the boy had to go through the past few months to get this far - all the doubts topped with pain and agony. There were countless times when Ephram thought it easier to throw in the towel and give up on life. A large dose of encouragement was often needed to convince him otherwise. For the most part, Andy and Nina had done all they could to prevent any immeasurable damage from happening. They started off guarding the boy but kept him on a long enough leash to not have him suspect anything. It wasn't some vicious stranger they were trying to protect him from. They were safeguarding him from himself. Andy couldn't let Ephram alone for too long until he was certain his son was not going to try and hurt himself intentionally. Luckily, as time passed, Ephram got better and more importantly for the past several weeks, Ephram was starting to enjoy life again. He was slowly accepting his situation.  
  
"First of all, for him to even get this far is - well - almost a miracle. I've seen and worked with dozens of people who have far less injury sustained and they're not making half the progress he's making and in record time too." Marla continued. "Judging from the severity of his condition, I'd say he has a 80% chance of walking again - with the help of crutches. Don't count on him running around anytime soon though. If he keeps up the hard work and only if things go well, he may graduate to walking with a cane at most. Maybe this is news you don't want to hear but you have to know this is all speculation. I would prefer it if the odds were not mentioned to him."  
  
"No, not at all. I wouldn't dream of telling him. But I appreciate you being straight with me." Andy said. "And I'm very glad Ephram has you for a physical therapist."  
  
"Da-ad. What are you still doing?" Ephram called impatiently from the hallway. "C'mon. Let's go. We're all waiting for you."  
  
"I'm coming." Andy called back. "Thanks Marla. For all you've done for Ephram." He stuck his hand out for a handshake.  
  
"Doin' my job." Marla smiled humbly and shook his hand heartily. "Can't take all the credit. It was mostly Ephram. I just helped."  
  
"Well, thanks anyway." Andy grinned.  
  
"Fine then. You're welcome." Marla replied modestly. "Ok Ephram - you take care now. And see you in two days!" She shouted to Ephram.  
  
"Bye Marla. See you Monday!" He waved.  
  
After saying good-bye to Marla, Andy joined Ephram in the hall. Marla crossed her arms and leaned against the doorway watching the two descend down the hall into the foyer. She heard a drone of muffled conversation.  
  
"Did you dry off before putting on that coat?" Andy asked.  
  
"Yes, dad." The boy sighed.  
  
"Your hair is still wet." Andy ran a hand thru Ephram's short black hair.  
  
"Stop it. You're messing up my hair." Ephram pouted as he brushed his father's hand away.  
  
"Doesn't change the fact that it's wet." Andy retorted.  
  
"No it's not. It dried while you were yakking away with Marla in there." Ephram said as he gave the handrim of his wheelchair another pull.  
  
"Don't want you catching a cold because you were being careless. Is your shirt wet?"  
  
"I changed my shirt already. Wanna check?" Ephram said with a sly grin.  
  
"Where's your hat?" Andy asked.  
  
"Dad, will you quit nagging me! I can take care of myself." Ephram declared in a huff. "The hat is here. Satisfied?" He finally added pulling out what appeared to be a black knit hit from his pocket.  
  
"Ephram, stop being difficult and put on your hat. Zip up your coat for Heaven's sake. It's 30 degree weather out there."  
  
"I'm not being difficult." Ephram challenged. He pulled the hat on his head and fumbled with his coat zipper.  
  
"Oh, yes you are." Andy sighed.  
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
Marla smiled at the little father-son bickering she happened to overhear. Some things will never change.  
  
***** Later That Afternoon *****  
  
The first thing he heard when he entered the house through the back door was the peaceful rippling harmony of piano keys being played. Andy placed the day's mail and a rolled up copy of the Everwood Gazette on the kitchen counter. He stood there for a brief moment with eyes closed capturing the sweet mellifluous sounds of his son's genius traveling from the living room.  
  
"Isn't it just beautiful? He plays it so well." A female voice distracted Andy's attention forcing him to open his eyes. Nina had drifted into the kitchen.  
  
"Mmmm." Andy agreed with a slight feeling of euphoria. "Debussy's Clair de Lune." He rendered.  
  
"It translates into 'Moonlight'?" She asked timidly as Andy nodded. "Intoxicating, huh?" Nina said admiring the soft melody. "He's been at it for the past half an hour." She reached into the cabinet and pulled out three tall glasses.  
  
"I know what he's doing. There's a reason why he chose to play Debussy. Debussy puts emphasis on the use of the damper pedal." Andy concluded. "It's a pedal technique. Ephram is testing his ability to elongate notes by using the foot pedals. He's using his feet." He added when he saw the confused look on Nina's pretty face.  
  
"Anyway, I've never heard Clair de Lune played so beautifully in my entire life. Ephram has a natural gift. It wouldn't be fair for him to lose that ability." She searched in the Brown's pantry for the canister she had in mind.  
  
"He'll be a great pianist someday." Andy said as he sorted the mail.  
  
"Yep and I can picture him playing at Carnegie Hall in front of thousands of people. We'd be sitting right there in the front row dressed up to the nines. Then I turn to our seat neighbors and say I knew him when." Nina daydreamed.  
  
"He's come a long way." Andy laughed.  
  
"Aha, here it is." Nina found her object of desire. "You want chocolate milk to go with the vanilla sugar cookies I made or coffee?" She pulled out a container of NesQuik chocolate milk powder.  
  
"Coffee will be fine." Andy replied.  
  
"Ok then, two coffees and three chocolate milks coming right up." Nina smiled.  
  
"I'm going to check on Ephram." Andy headed towards the living room corridor.  
  
He stood there watching Ephram's back view. The boy was seated comfortably on his wheelchair in front of the piano. A large sheet was propped up against the music desk. Ephram's long narrow fingers ran over the top of the black and white keys with grace and expertise as he occasionally looked up to read the music sheet. The old mahogany Baldwin vertical piano was backed up against one wall next to a big window in the far right side of the living room. Ephram called it his "Music Corner. "  
  
When he looked up, Ephram caught the reflection of his father standing at the corridor through the medium sized brass framed mirror that hung on the wall above the piano. Ephram suddenly stopped playing his intended piece and professionally hammered an octave on the keys. Toying with his father, he began tinkling the theme music to "The Smurfs".  
  
"Oh, now, that's just you being silly!" Andy laughed.  
  
"I didn't know I had an audience." Ephram turned his wheelchair around to face his father. "It's my rendition of Clair de Lune - I thought I'd spice up the ending with something cheery."  
  
"Claude Debussy would be turning in his grave if he found out what you did to his masterpiece." Andy joked.  
  
"You are so anti-Smurf." Ephram shook his head in disappointment. They laughed at each other's sarcasm. "Dad, I play much better now that the strength in my legs are returning." He said excitedly after a while.  
  
"Yea, I noticed from your choice of music. I'm happy for you. You've hypnotized Nina with your spellbinding piano playing too." Andy thumbed the kitchen. "Oh, before I forget, a package came for you. I picked just it up from the town post office. It's on the table."  
  
"For me? Who's it from?" Ephram asked curiously.  
  
"Well, open it and find out." Andy said not giving his boy any hints. Ephram wheeled himself to the dining room with his father trailing behind.  
  
On the dining room table was a small brown package about the size of a shoebox. Andy disappeared into the kitchen trying to get a head start in stealing a few cookies from the plate when Nina wasn't looking. Ephram examined the box. Even block letters of his name and address were written with a thick black magic marker across the top. Recognizing the handwriting immediately, he knew who the sender was without looking at the return address. But force of habit made his eyes dart to the left hand corner of the box hence, confirming his theory. It was from Jewels.  
  
He opened the box with a pair of scissors. The same pair that he once held to his wrist. Andy and Nina spied on him meticulously when he picked up the sharp object. He knew what they were doing. But he played it cool and set the scissors down on the table in plain sight as soon as he was done opening the box to show the adults that he wasn't planning on using it for malice.  
  
Five long sleeved knit shirts in different solid colors in black, gray, olive, blue, and dark wine with the bold letters "S.N.A.F.U." imprinted across the chest were folded into neat squares. Tucked carefully between the folds of first and the second shirts were a large pack of strawberry Twizzlers, a crisp issue #48 of the DC comic "100 Bullets" in a clear plastic envelope, and a letter written in her own small handwriting on blue lined loose leaf paper.  
  
He unfolded the letter and began to read it. His eyes darted back and forth quickly absorbing all the words of the page. Andy and Nina watched Ephram's facial reaction to the letter and craned their necks curiously to see the contents of the package from where they stood. For a split second, they thought they saw a tear welling in Ephram's eyes. The tear resembled a little sparkling diamond, which clung to the corner of his eye but it did not fall. They looked at each other trying to send telepathic messages through their eyes. When Ephram finally put down the letter, Andy gave Nina the signal that it was time to go snoop. Nina took her tray of cookies while Andy helped with the glasses of chocolate milk and coffee. They casually entered the dining room and placed their loads onto the table.  
  
"So, Ephram. What'd you get?" Andy said while eyeing the contents of the box, which were now scattered in front of Ephram. "Hmmm, nice loot. Now you have one for each day of the week." Andy chuckled referring to the shirts.  
  
"Is it from your New York friend?" Nina asked arranging the food on the table.  
  
"Yea." Ephram confirmed. The ends of his lips curled up slightly.  
  
"What does she say?" Nina inquired nicely.  
  
"Here. I know you guys want to read it." He said pushing the letter towards the two adults, who were seated across from him.  
  
"What? Oh no, we couldn't do that. It's private." Nina gasped hoping Ephram would not withdraw his offer.  
  
"No, really - go ahead. I don't mind." Ephram replied. There was nothing too personal on the letter that would be too embarrassing to reveal.  
  
"Well, ok. If you insist then." Nina took the letter and shared it with Andy. They began reading silently.  
  
The letter read as follows:  
  
Hi Mr. Intriguingly Cryptic!  
  
I know how much you liked that last SNAFU shirt I got you. And I know how pissed off you were that it had to be cut up. So, I went back to that place on Canal Street that sold the shirts and wow, it comes in long sleeves and in colors too! I must've stood there like an idiot for half an hour racking my brain trying to figure out what color to get. So hell, I got you all five.  
  
You're probably wondering how I managed to get my claws on #48 of 100 Bullets esp since it's not due out in your neck of the woods until next month. I have connections in high places. Haha. My brother's friend works at your favorite store - Midtown Comics. When new inventory comes in, they all go through his hands first. So, after some intensive arm-twisting, teeth pulling, backstabbing and blackmailing, my brother got him to sneak him one quietly under the table. OK - so he just sold it to me, same difference. Hey, humor me - it's my attempt to be dramatic here. You said you followed 100 Bullets so happy reading, my friend!! Whoever says revenge was sweet obviously never read this dark comic. Sigh.  
  
One more thing before I go. Twizzlers because I don't want you to forget the discussion we had that day on Kafka. Ephram, don't end up like Gregor Samsa. I know what it's like to have those days when you wish you could just fade away and disappear. You try so hard to escape and "run away" from yourself that you've forgotten everything that mattered and in the end, you become numb. You say to yourself that this is what you wanted so you can hide from the pain, fear and anger. You thought you needed to feel nothing when all you really needed was someone to tell you that they understood. Gregor's life was a down hill tragedy from the start. It doesn't have to be that way for you. You have a whole life ahead of you, Ephram. You concentrate too much on your weaknesses and not enough on your strengths. What you lack in physicality, you gain in experience and wisdom. You may have deficiencies that are more severe than the average person, but from all the stories you've told me, your life is indeed very rich - rich with friends and family who care about you (myself included). And I don't think any of us would want you to lock yourself up and turn into a "roach". With that said, I think I'll end it here. Talk to you later!  
  
Don't be a stranger, Jewels  
  
PS - Thanx for the cool postcard. I always thought the Rocky Mountains looked a lot like shaved chocolate sprinkled with powdered sugar. Yum.  
  
********  
  
"Aw, that's sweet. She's very intelligent." Nina said to Andy when they finished reading the letter.  
  
"She understands." Ephram said. A few rebellious tears strolled down his face and he wiped them away before anyone noticed. But it was too late. Both Andy and Nina saw the escape of the tears.  
  
"Ephram, are you ok?" Andy asked.  
  
"Uh - yea. Of course, why wouldn't I be? I'm fine. Just fine." Ephram stammered as his face reddened.  
  
"Oh Andy. Relax. He's fine." Nina smiled warmly. "Those were tears of joy. He's happy." She nodded and winked at Andy. She then turned to Ephram. "Well, I think that was a lovely letter. Thank you for sharing it with us." Nina always had a way with words. She could turn any awkward situation around. Maybe it has something to do with woman's intuition.  
  
"Sure." Ephram replied as he refolded the piece of paper into a square.  
  
"So, have you told her the good news yet?" Nina inquired.  
  
"Naw, I think I'll surprise her." Ephram replied. "By Christmas, I'll be even better at walking than I am now."  
  
"You have such a nice friend. And look at all the neat stuff you got!" Nina exclaimed.  
  
"Yea, now what are you going to get her?" Andy teased.  
  
"Hmmm. I was thinking of taking her to see Rent, which is her favorite show. It's going to be another surprise. If I start saving my allowances between now and Christmas, I think I can scrape up enough monetary units to cover for two tickets." Ephram said wisely.  
  
"That sounds wonderful. I happen to know a guy who knows a guy in New York who can get great seats at reasonable prices." Andy offered with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"You mean a ticket scalper." Ephram concluded. "Isn't that, like, illegal?"  
  
"Very funny. I always knew you inherited MY sense of humor. No, really, he's not a ticket scalper." Andy reassured.  
  
"OK then. I don't want either of us to be thrown in jail. Then we would have to make license plates for a living for the rest of our lives." He squirmed.  
  
"Isn't he the one with the over-active imagination." Andy sighed.  
  
"Ok, Ephram. We are going out to dinner tonight to celebrate your victory. You get to pick the restaurant since you are the man of the hour. So, what will it be?" Nina questioned. Ephram thought about it for a while.  
  
"McDonald's!!" Ephram finally exclaimed. His eyes lit up like the lights on a Christmas tree.  
  
"McDonald's?" Andy scratched his head in confusion. "Are you sure? Wouldn't you rather go to a five star restaurant like Marcelli's or The Bamboo Garden or that new French place - what's it called again?" Andy tapped his index finger on his forehead in thought.  
  
"Chez Pierre." Nina said almost too quickly.  
  
"Right! Chez Pierre!" Andy proclaimed.  
  
"No. I have an unusual craving for a Big Mac. So, I'm gonna stick with McDonald's." Ephram nodded.  
  
"You do realize that the nearest McDonald's is a forty-five minute drive from here, right?" Andy said.  
  
"Yep. So maybe we should get a head start." Ephram smiled as he reached for a vanilla cookie from the plate on the table.  
  
"It's just that you haven't been in a car ride for more than fifteen minutes let alone forty-five minutes. Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Andy worried.  
  
"I'll be ok. I'll try not to freak out on you." Ephram gave the adults a wide innocent grin. "Besides, it'll all be worth it when I sink my teeth into a juicy Big Mac or two." He added and chomped on the soft and gooey cookie.  
  
"Well, I think the boy is finally getting his ravenous appetite back." Nina observed quite contently.  
  
"It's settled then. We're going to the McDonald's." Andy declared. "But it's a little weird that you should pick a simple and cheap place like McDonald's to celebrate such a big occasion but ok, I think I can deal with it - "  
  
"I don't care what your father thinks. McDonald's is a decent choice." Nina smiled at Ephram. "It's whatever makes you happy sweetie."  
  
"You always take his side." Andy pouted in jest. "I guess I'll go round up the kids for snack. Last I saw, they were in the backyard burying each other with leaves. Tomorrow's gonna be one heck of a laundry day."  
  
*** Later That Night ***  
  
A luminous crescent moon hung against a darkened sky riddled with sparkling studs. It was a peaceful night. There were no cars or trucks whizzing by, no distressing police car sirens blaring, and no annoying car alarms. Sounds of the city were far away. He closed his eyes briefly and listened to the silence. The tranquility was calming and for the first time in his life, he thoroughly enjoyed it. A trace of fragrant Aspen leaves mixed with minty air filled his nostrils. The coldness was biting, yet it felt refreshing and cleansing at the same time. A sudden brisk gust of wind caused a cold shiver to run down his spine. He pulled the blanket up to his shoulders for warmth.  
  
Ephram spent the past half hour sitting on the long wicker bench on his porch. Andy had been preoccupied with putting Delia to bed and reading her a bedtime story. The house was quiet. Nina and Sam left some two hours ago. When he looked up at the adjacent house, he could still see a faint light flickering in an upstairs bedroom. Nina was still awake. He smiled knowing she was nearby. The time alone allowed him to reflect on his life. He felt peculiar. Maybe it was peculiar because he'd forgotten how to feel anything for the past few months. He was happy - truly happy.  
  
"There you are." A voice said as the front door opened with a rusty squeak. He turned his head to find his father standing by the doorway.  
  
"Hey dad." Ephram greeted. Andy's tall and burly figure against the porch light cast a shadow on the boy making him look small and powerless.  
  
"Mind if I join you?" Andy sat down next to his son on the bench.  
  
"Not at all." Ephram said. He offered to share his blanket and Andy accepted.  
  
"How was the Big Mac?" Andy asked trying to start a conversation. "Was it satisfying?"  
  
"Yea, it was great. It really hit the spot." Ephram replied and turned his attention back to the sky.  
  
"Wow. It's a beautiful night." Andy remarked.  
  
"Sure is." Ephram agreed. They sat there for a few minutes in silence.  
  
"You know, you can see Orion from here." Andy noted.  
  
"Orion?" Ephram said with a hint of curiosity in his voice.  
  
"Yea, Orion - also know as The Great Hunter. Look there." Andy pointed an index finger at the dark sky. "You see three bright stars lined up - there, there and there? That's Orion's belt." Andy traced the stars with his finger. "Then if you look a few degrees north of that, you'll see a bright reddish star. That's Orion's armpit. And if you concentrate hard enough you can spot the outline of his body. He's holding a club in his hand."  
  
"Waitaminute. You lost me. I don't see it." Ephram said as he squinted into the area of the sky where his father pointed.  
  
"There are three really bright stars -" Andy started again.  
  
"Hmm, all the stars look pretty bright to me." Ephram's puzzled tone caused Andy to laugh.  
  
"Ok, follow my finger. The three stars lined slanting slightly upward. One, two, and three - see it?" Andy said patiently as he retraced the stars. The boy continued to focus hoping to spot Orion's belt. After a short while of pondering, a huge smile ran across Ephram's excited face.  
  
"I think I see it! Yea! I do! I see it!" Ephram exclaimed.  
  
"Good!" Andy congratulated. He watched his son's innocent boyish face stare into the mass of stars above in amazement. "There are eighty-eight constellations in total. Some are more difficult to spot than others but with some practice, you'll be able to find them in no time. Like the Canis, Pegasus, and even Hercules."  
  
"Wow, there are eighty-eight of them up there?" Ephram said in awe. "Who discovered them?"  
  
"The constellation was not discovered, it was invented. I believe it was the ancient Greeks who invented them. Though I'm sure some astronomers would disagree with me. In reality, names were given to stars as a means to simplify the remembering of which star is which. But we owe it to Greek mythology for all the fascinating tales encrypted in those cluster of stars you see right now. Do you know the story of Orion?" Andy asked. Ephram shook his head.  
  
"Well, in ancient Greek mythology, Orion was the son of Poseidon - the God of the Sea - and Euryale, the daughter of King Minos of Crete. Orion was so tall and huge that he was able to walk the bottom of the deepest oceans with his head sticking out above the water. Now, remember that very fact because it will come into play later in the story. There are many different versions on the death of Orion and how he came about to be part of the constellation but this one I'm about to tell you is my favorite and in a way, the most romantic." Andy explained. He noticed Ephram's eyes widen as he absorbed every word.  
  
"See, Orion was supposed to marry Artemis, the Goddess of the Hunt, but her brother Apollo, as you may also know as the God of the Sun, totally objected to the marriage. So, Apollo thought up a way to keep his sister from marrying Orion. Apollo wasn't stupid, he knew his sister well. He knew she was overly proud of being a skilled archer and without question would prove to anyone that she was the best. I mean, the chick was after all the Goddess of the Hunt - I should say, she should know her weapon pretty well. One day, Apollo presented her with a challenge." Andy paused to build suspense.  
  
"So then what happened? What was the challenge?" Ephram pressed.  
  
"I'm getting to it. Apollo, being the sly dog that he is, challenged Artemis to put an arrow through a small bobbing object on the waves that was seen from a far, far distance. Artemis didn't know what that object was at the time but, since competitiveness was in her nature, she never turned down a challenge. She drew her arrow back and with a single shot, the arrow struck the object. She then approached to see what the object was that her arrow had pierced through, and to her horror, it was Orion's head. She was so full of remorse and grief after unwittingly killed her future husband that she placed him among the stars so he would never be forgotten." Andy concluded and waited for his son's response.  
  
"Gosh!" Ephram said in amazement. "How did you know so much about this stuff?"  
  
"I'll have you know that learning the constellation was an excellent way to impress girls back in the day. You didn't think I learned all that stuff for no reason, now did you?" Andy retorted.  
  
"Aren't you the hopeless romantic." Ephram chuckled.  
  
"Well, it works." Andy shrugged.  
  
"You've probably tried it on mom too." Ephram snickered. "I didn't know there were more to it than just twinkling stars. I've never really paid much attention to constellations." He continued after a short pause.  
  
"The night sky is like a map. For centuries, people relied on stars to navigate the earth and tell time. Farmers looked to the stars to know when to plant seeds and harvest their crops. You would never think something this small and often overlooked can be so important. The map is sketched into the sky. So, no matter where you are you can ever really get lost because the stars will eventually guide you home." Andy said.  
  
The insight left Ephram speechless and bewildered as he gazed at Orion. Ephram leaned his cheek against his father's muscular bicep. Seeing his son's sudden reach for affection, Andy swung his arm around Ephram's shoulder. Andy thought Ephram was the sweetest during these quiet moments when they weren't bickering or fighting over petty things.  
  
"Dad?" Ephram said in a near whisper.  
  
"Yes, son?"  
  
"I think I know what I want Santa to bring me this year." Ephram joked.  
  
"Oh, yea? And what's that?"  
  
"A telescope so I can see Orion better."  
  
"Well, I'll be sure to put in a good word for you." Andy laughed.  
  
"Do you think Jewels can see Orion all the way in New York right now?"  
  
"Sure! Maybe not at the same exact time since stars move, but Orion can definitely be seen over New York." Andy replied. "As a matter of fact, on a clear night, your mother and I used to sit under the stars in Central Park and point out the constellations to each other. I think the story of Orion was her favorite too." Andy answered while secretly reminiscing those romantic nights spent with Julia.  
  
"So, you DID try it on mom!" Ephram yawned tiredly. Andy stroked Ephram's hair gently.  
  
"Yep." Andy said. He felt Ephram snuggle closer to him for warmth.  
  
Andy tucked the blanket around them but gave more cover of the blanket to Ephram. His gaze found it's way to Ephram's wheelchair parked next to the bench. Then he looked at the small figure leaned up against him. 'He's so brave.' Andy thought and continued to stroke Ephram's hair softly. It was a comfort to know that Ephram hadn't objected to the affection.  
  
"When we go to New York, can we go see the Christmas tree lighting at Rockerfeller Center?" Ephram asked.  
  
"What? I thought you've seen your fill of trees already in Everwood. Why on earth would you want to see one when you're in New York?!" Andy kidded.  
  
"I'd forgotten what that's like - the tree lighting and all. Maybe we can invite Jewels to come with us." Ephram said.  
  
"Sure, we can do that." Andy answered.  
  
Pause.  
  
"Dad." The boy whispered.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Thanks." Ephram murmured just loud enough for Andy to hear. "For saving me. If it weren't for you and Nina and Delia, I would've been lost a long time ago."  
  
"Ephram." Andy began.  
  
"Remembering all those times when I had the opportunity to kill myself, it scares me to think that I really would've done it. Either that or I would've gone crazy. I owe you one." Ephram interrupted.  
  
"You don't owe me anything, precious." Andy placed a kiss just above Ephram's ear to show his affection. "I know it has been a turbulent several months for you. You've been through so much. But I'm happy that you're ok now. My prayers have been answered." Andy said caringly. The familiar salty lump formed in his throat.  
  
Andy disliked talking about such emotional subjects for fear of bursting into tears in mid-sentence. He was a strong man and strong men didn't cry. It was apparent that he felt deeply about the welfare of his crippled child. Discussing it was his weakness. Each tear that Ephram shed took a mark on his soul. He grieved. And here before him was the boy who had once been shattered into a thousand pieces with little or no hope at all of becoming whole again. The scars were mending and slowly healing. Andy heard Ephram's words thanking him for guidance to salvation. Little did the boy know that Andy needed him so much more than he could express.  
  
"You know what? As much as I would like to take all the credit, I'm going to have to be humble and share." Andy said to deter the salty lump in his throat from getting any bigger. "I think your friend Juliana deserves some of the credit too. In fact, I think she deserves a lot more credit than I do. If I remember correctly, your big turnaround happened right after your conversation with her when you confessed. For some reason, no matter how much I tried to convince you that I understood - you never seemed to fully believe me. Though when you talked to her, it was like as if something in your head clicked and everything made sense. She must've said something to you to make you realize that she truly understood."  
  
"Her name is Jewels. No one calls her Juliana." Ephram corrected. It was true what his father said. Deep in his gut, Ephram knew if it hadn't been for Jewels, he would've still been trapped in the darkness. Andy had been the safety net and protector. Nina supplied the maternal love and care. Delia and Sam served as his pep rally. And Jewels played the most important part of all - she was his wake up call. "She told me lots of things." Ephram added.  
  
"Well, she's a smart girl. Maybe someday you'll tell me what it was that she said." Andy responded.  
  
"I don't know. It's weird that she understands this stuff so well. I mean, when I talk to her, it's like she's been in the same situation. Every time I ask her how she knows so much or if something happened to her, she changes subject. I don't get it."  
  
"You like this girl."  
  
"Maybe I kinda do."  
  
"Tell ya what. I think I have a little experience when it comes to the opposite sex." Andy winked humorously. "I know you're curious and want to know whatever it is that she isn't telling you. Be patient. Give her time. Maybe it's a sensitive issue. When the time is right, she will share her secret with you." He advised.  
  
"I guess you're right." Ephram let out another yawn.  
  
"You about ready to turn in?"  
  
"Mmmmm." Ephram closed his eyes and gave his father a tight hug. "I love you."  
  
"Love you too, baby." Andy returned the hug. Ephram looked up at his father with tired eyes. "Time for bed, huh?"  
  
"Yea, I'm gonna call Grandpop and Nanna first thing tomorrow and tell them I can walk." Ephram stretched. "Well, sort of walk. Well, you know what I mean." He mumbled.  
  
"I'm sure they would love to hear from you. But first, let's get you off to bed." Andy got up and collected the blanket.  
  
"I can do it by myself." Ephram said sincerely when Andy offered to help him into his iGlide. Andy watched his son pull himself onto the wheelchair with finesse. "See, I told you I can do it myself. You didn't have to wait for me."  
  
"I know. But I still have to help get you up the stairs to your room, remember?" Andy reminded.  
  
"Oh, right. I forgot." The boy smiled and wheeled himself through the front door.  
  
Upon entering the house, Andy turned around and took one last look at Orion in the sky. With a happy sigh, he whispered "thank you" to the heavens.  
  
Satisfied, Andy shut the front door and turned off the porch light.  
  
In life, we tend to take things for granted. Seldom do we appreciate the importance of our abilities until they are taken away from us.  
  
As humans, we are reared to learn from our mistakes. But sometimes, the mistakes are in our ignorance. We are so caught up in our expectations and daily demands that we fail to see how ignorant we are on appreciating the fruition of life that is presented before us. Hardly do we ever stop to count the blessings we already have rather than the curses we have yet to acquire. Imagine what it would be like to suddenly lose one of your sensory or motor functions - the two most important functions we use and rely on everyday without even realizing it.  
  
Our senses have so much to offer. Without the sense of smell, we would never be able to take in the eye-opening aroma of coffee brewing or the clean scent of freshly cut grass or even the savory smell of mom's special recipe of baked Cornish hens stuffed with wild saffron rice. Perhaps if our sense of taste was taken away, we should never have the pleasure of indulging in our favorite desserts or that extra heavenly slice of pizza we crave from time to time. Maybe if we were robbed of our hearing, we could never be permitted to hear sweet beautiful music or the serene sound of songbirds. Or if we were deprived of our sight, we could never take in the dramatic hues Mother Nature paints for us each day or discovering all the wonders the world holds for us. And how horrible it would be if we should lose our sense of touch! We would never be able to feel the warm embrace or tender kiss of a loved one or appreciate the icy tingle of a snowflake melting on the tip of your nose.  
  
Further more, mobility plays a significant part in our lives. Losing the use of a limb such as an arm or leg is devastating. Imagine never being able to dance to your favorite song or take a relaxing barefoot stroll on the beach or something as typical as typing an email. As we close the book on this part of Ephram's turbulent journey to walk again, we hope he has learned the value of life's fundamental gifts. He is on his way to beating the odds. More so, it appears he has indeed risen from the ashes.  
  
* The End *  
  
Author's Note: I would like to thank all of you who have followed this story from beginning to end. All your meaningful reviews (no matter how short or long, how general or constructive) keep me going. Also, thanks for the wonderful emails. Your loyalty and patience are greatly appreciated. I couldn't ask for a better group of fans. You're the best! I also wanted to apologize if I strayed from the show. I know some of what I wrote was a bit of a stretch but - ah well, what can I say - I enjoy seeing Ephram as an extremely fragile, vulnerable, young, edgy, scrawny kid in desperate need of paternal as well as maternal love.  
  
PS. For those of you who want to know, this story does have a sequel - but it hasn't been written yet. Instead, I've decided to start a new story and revisit this one another time. Until next time!!!!!! 


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